Chapter 8

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

At this moment, in Brother Yidao funeral shop.

After a slow and uneventful day, the doors of the shop had already been shut.

Having finished the lukewarm leftovers served by Li Yinuo herself, Li Yidao couldn’t help but feel discomfort in his belly.

For safety’s sake, he found himself squatting in the restroom, scrolling through videos of graceful yoga ladies.

He watched one captivating performance after another.

He subconsciously thought of the Little Bunny that he had followed.

“I wonder how that Little Bunny is holding up. Hopefully, she’ll pay heed to my hints and manage to dodge the troubles.”

Yet, his confidence was wavering, as the system’s functionalities were still in the experimental phase.

However, with the 83% death rate indicated by the system, Li Yidao felt that the chances of her dodging it were not high.

And if the worst were to happen, it would likely be tonight.

“I don’t know what will happen.”

At this moment.

Li Yidao received a notification.

It wasn’t just him. All the fans of the Little Bunny had received it.

Subconsciously, he clicked on it to take a look. It turned out to be the latest post by the Little Bunny.

Looking at the charming Little Bunny inside the video, he saw the filming location was a hotel.

Li Yidao’s heart skipped a beat.

Could it be…

Was this the hotel where the Little Bunny would get into trouble tonight?

Underneath the post, the comments from eager fans began pouring in.

“Hey, isn’t that a hotel? Did she waste any time booking a room?”

“They say Big Brother in the ranking is a good guy? I just hope he treats her right. If things go south, can I volunteer to fight for her?”

“Hehe, the person above wanting to fight certainly seems eager. Just drop a hefty donation and the Little Bunny will give you a queue number.”

“Ah, I envy them. I wish I could join the live stream…”

“Live stream? You must be kidding! I’ve just hacked into the hotel’s network, and surprisingly, not a single surveillance camera in any of the rooms!”

“Upstairs, the police car is already on the way to your house.”

“Oh, how I wish I could…”

“No! You broke loser, you’ll never get the top spot!”

“Hey, life’s just not fair, huh? The goddess in your eyes might be moaning someone else’s name…”

“…”

“Speaking of which, I wonder if Brother Dao’s prophecy will succeed this time?”

“Prophecy? My foot! That’s just a load of baloney! He jumps on other people’s videos to advertise funeral discounts. it’s pure clickbait!”

“Hey, isn’t that Brother Kuang? I’m telling you, Brother Kuang, be careful! Brother Dao’s predictions are warning you. He’s got his eyes on you!”

“What the f*ck! Come on! I’m not scared at all. Come and follow me! Begging for following! I said it!”

“If you don’t come, you’re my son!”

“Brother Kuang is awesome! Wait for Brother Dao to descend!”

“+1”

“+1”

“+10086!”

…

Meanwhile, Li Yidao stumbled upon the comments on a profile named “Cycling Brother Kuang”.

He could not help but frown.

“This really annoys me.” He casually clicked on the person’s profile.

He noticed that the person’s videos were all about cycling in the great outdoors.

Seemed like a cycling streamer.

[Ding! High-quality customer detected, ID: Cycling Brother Kuang]

[Death Status Detection: 99% chance of death due to continuously deceiving viewers leading to a car accident]

[Host is recommended to follow the high-quality customer immediately.]

Huh?

Initially, Li Yidao was just casually checking it out.

But he didn’t expect to find a high-quality customer with a whopping 99% chance of death?

Wow!

He glanced at the person’s follower count.

It was well over a million!

This was undoubtedly a big-time streamer!

This made Li Yidao very jealous.

If he could gather over a million followers, why bother running a funeral shop?!

Wouldn’t it be more lucrative to live stream and do product endorsements?

Since this was a high-quality customer, Li Yidao naturally decided to follow him.

He noticed that Brother Kuang’s videos were divided into segments, each showing different stretches of road. None of the videos covered an entire route or area.

Moreover, the cycling routes were incredibly intricate, ranging from remote areas to the wilderness, and even cities!

If he looked closely at the timing and distance released in the video, it became clear.

This streamer was clearly a phony cycling enthusiast!

Many of the distances seemed plausible at first glance, but upon further scrutiny, they were completely illogical!

Who could maintain a cycling speed for days on end, right?

That was just a bunch of nonsense!

Therefore, the biggest possibility was that there was definitely a security vehicle behind him.

He would only ride it himself when he was recording videos.

“No wonder the system flagged him for continuously deceiving his fans…”

But Li Yidao was no longer surprised by such things.

Many hikers, cyclists, wilderness survival enthusiasts—almost all of them had an entire support team behind them, didn’t they?

This wasn’t anything new.

Fans usually wouldn’t take it too seriously. After all, everyone was watching videos for fun.

As long as they were happy.

It was the Internet.

What was this?

It was a situation where one was willing to strike, and the other was willing to endure!

Mutual consent, nothing unreasonable about it.

But…

Why did the system give him a 99% chance of death?

Wasn’t this a little too much?

He really didn’t know how this car accident happened.

There was simply no way to figure it out.

Li Yidao pondered for a while but couldn’t come up with a rational explanation.

The person’s previous words had angered him a bit.

But after all, it was a living, breathing person. With a 99% chance of death, there was still a glimmer of hope.

After some thought, he found the person’s most recent video and opened the comment box.

He typed a sentence after considering it, “Riding without rules, loved ones shed tears!”

Seeing that there was no notification from the system, Li Yidao pressed the send button with relief.

Of course, there was an iconic slogan at the back.

“No worries after death, Li Yidao will escort you. Full-service one-stop, ensuring peace of mind for your loved ones. Pre-bookings enjoy a 50% discount!”

This should be enough, right?

By the way, to avoid obvious comments that might trigger a backlash from the system, Li Yidao had put in a lot of effort.

He sent an inconspicuous hint, coupled with an eye-catching slogan.

If this person still did not pay attention to it, then there was no other way.

After posting the comment, he followed him.

With his legs already feeling numb from squatting for so long, Li Yidao slowly stood up.

“D*mn it… it’s gone numb again. When I have money, I’ll definitely get a proper toilet. This squatting toilet in the old house is so uncomfortable…”

…

At this moment, after Brother Kuang had posted his own comment in Little Bunny’s latest post.

His eyes were filled with satisfaction.

His lackey was confused.

“I say, Brother Kuang, why bother provoking that funeral director? What if he actually comes to give you a follow? Isn’t that unlucky?”

“Hehe, unlucky? Can you use that two-ounce brain of yours?”

“What’s so unlucky about it? I’m afraid he won’t come! ”

“If he really comes, it will attract attention, and my fans alone will increase by tens of thousands. You believe it or not?”

“Hmm? Haha, Brother Kuang, you’re awesome! You even thought of this move. This bro is indeed quite eye-catching now. As long as he follows us! Then, we’ll promote it! Hehe!”

“Haha, you get it now, right? I’m not your average Joe. Just wait, if he dares to follow, you guys unleash the water army for a full-blown promotion frenzy!”

“When my fan count hits over two million, I’m starting a bicycle business! Then you can join me in counting stacks of cash!”

“Hehe, mighty Brother Kuang!”

“Hey, look who’s here! Haha, this idiot actually followed me and even left a comment.”

“Riding without rules, loved ones shed tears!?”

“What a f*cking idiot! Who gives a d*mn about following the rules? If I played by the book, would the viewers still find it entertaining?”

“Alright, go ahead, find the water army and let’s start flooding the scene! I’m about to go all out!”

As he spoke, Brother Kuang took a screenshot of the comments and opened his status to update a post.

“[Screenshot] Heh, these days, all sorts of bizarre creatures are crawling out. Gotta hand it to you, you’ve achieved greatness in the business!”

“I’m all ears today. I want to see how you’re gonna make me ‘get killed’!”

“@Brother Yidao Funeral Shop. Kid, if I, Brother Kuang, don’t end up getting killed, you better vanish from the online world, or else I’ll unleash my Kuangfeng Army and smash you to pieces!”

As he hit that publish button, the well-prepared water army swiftly walked on stage!

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