Chapter 31

Translated by alyalia

Edited by popcorn

How long had he been standing in the rain, his body felt a striking chill. Raindrops were dripping down on his curled eyelashes. Judging by his shape, it looked like he had been standing all day since yesterday.

“What are you doing now…!”

Cersinia was angry at his foolish appearance. When she told him to go back, he ignored her and stood still in the rain. She was so angry that her head started pounding. She put her head in her hands.

When I told him to go back, he was waiting ignorantly and standing in the rain.

“…”

Ben slowly raised his head as he noticed Cersinia’s voice. The color of his skin turned pale as if the blood had evaporated, and his lips were pale and trembling. His empty eyes, which contained nothing, trembled greatly when he recognized her. Cersinia’s existence was depicted in his eyes, which had only been empty, without focus.

“Cersinia…”

A low voice, which had been outside for a long time, penetrated through the sound of the rain.

‘Is it an illusion that his voice has become more mournful because he had been waiting outside?’

The eyes that resembled the night were already bright and contained Cersinia.

“It was my fault.”

Ben’s neck moved slowly. The corners of his mouth were stiff. Perhaps it was difficult for him to even spit out each word. He looked fragile for a man who was twice larger than her. He even looked precarious, like a person who climbed a cliff.

Ben raised his trembling hand and grabbed the hem of Cersinia’s clothes. He held it very tightly as if he didn’t want to miss it again. His eyes were restless, scared that Cersinia would turn back away from him. A terrifyingly cold sensation was conveyed over the hem. It was cold enough to make her body shiver.

Cersinia couldn’t say anything. It was difficult to hastily bring up any words when she clearly felt his desperation.

“So please, don’t push me away…”

Droplets of tears flowed down from Ben’s bloodshot eyes. His blue-tinted lower lip was torn from how hard he had been biting it. His drooping shoulders were trembling in the heavy rain.

* * *

Cersinia reached out to a fireplace that she had never used to start a fire. The flame from her hand fell between the firewood, drawing a parabola.

“Cersinia…”

She heard a voice calling her carefully behind her back. It was a voice that bothered her mind countless times since yesterday.

“Stop calling. I’m here,” Cersinia replied bluntly.

She was so angry at his foolish behavior that she couldn’t believe he had done that. But now, the first thing to do was to warm up his frozen body. The best way was to deliver heat directly to his body, but she didn’t want to do that. Cersinia picked up a blower to ignite the flames in the fireplace.

“I’ll do it.”

As he reached for the blower, droplets fell off his wet sleeves and wet the floor. His whole body was wet from the rain.

“Just stay still.”

Cersinia pulled the blower aside. Ben staying still would really help. It would also help if he wipes off the water that fell everywhere he passed by.

“…but.”

Completely ignoring him, Cersinia crouched in front of the fireplace. Using the blower in her hand, the flame formed a perfect flame. That flame engulfed the firewood in front of her. It was hot enough to warm up her body in no time. Cersinia stood up, straightening her bent knees.

“Wait. I’ll be back to see if there are any clothes for you to change into.”

“I’ll join…”

Bent tried to be with her again as if he didn’t want to leave even for a moment. Cersinia glared at him as if a large dog was chasing its owner and said, “Just warm up your body.”

Ben became sullen and shrugged his shoulders. He felt like he was being rejected over and over, and his heart ached like a throbbing pain.

“…Yes, I’ll be waiting.”

She entered the room with a small sigh as she saw him drooping in despair. Ben only grew in size, but he was doing the same thing as in the past. Yesterday, he looked so unfamiliar, but after exchanging a few words, she felt the same as before.

“I don’t know if there are any clothes that will fit him.”

‘Will there be clothes that fit him who has grown up?’

Cersinia opened the small three-tier drawers in the corner of the room. The drawer that she hadn’t opened since she moved here. She slipped her hand into the stinky drawer. As she fumbled with her hand to the deepest part, a piece of cloth caught her eyes. When the fabric was pulled out without hesitation, the finely folded clothes loosened and stretched.

The cloth in her hands was a large white cloth. The cloth Ben wore three years ago. She had it because she couldn’t burn it or throw it away because she didn’t know if Ben was alive or dead. She looked at his clothes, which she hadn’t taken out for a long time. The pure white cloth has faded over time. It was a cloth she bought in Mulain Village three years ago. The cloth was tailored to a slightly large size for Ben, who was growing day by day. Cersinia measured the width of the cloth with her palm. It might be a little small for him, who had grown up, but it seemed like it would fit. Even if it doesn’t fit, this is the only cloth she can give to him right now. Cersinia also took out the pants in the drawer and left the room.

“What are you doing?”

When she left the room, she saw Ben walking back and forth in front of the fireplace with an anxious face.

“Ah, Cersinia.”

He, who was restless, smiled faintly when he saw her.

‘It’s only been a few minutes…’

Cersinia stared at him as if he would run to her at any moment.

‘If you’re being like this, then why did you disappear without a word?’

She shook her head and approached Ben.

“The bathroom is over there. There is hot water, so go wash up.”

She casually held out the clothes in her hand. Ben looked at the clothes and widened his eyes.

“I thought you’d throw it away…”

His eyes were teary again, perhaps because he recognized it was his clothes.

“I just forgot and couldn’t clean it up.”

Half of those words were right and wrong. But she doesn’t have to tell him. Because she was still disappointed with him. Cersinia forced the clothes in her hand into his arms. At the same time, Ben’s gaze followed Cersinia’s hand.

“Hurry up.”

Ben remained silent. The moment she was about to open her mouth again towards him, who was staring at something, Ben’s mouth opened first.

“…Is your wrist really okay?”

Only then did Cersinia realize that his gaze was on her wrist. When she checked her wrist, there was still a faint red mark. It seems like it will take a few days for it to disappear because they were tied so tightly.

Ben was still caring about her wound that she didn’t even know. His whole body was shivering from the cold, but he didn’t even think to warm his body first. Even if she said it was okay, his worried expression didn’t seem too easily relieved. When she told him to wash up, he was stuck on the place as if his legs were glued to the floor.

“It’s okay.”

Seeing him still worrying about her damped her disappointment. Cersinia looked at him, who was blaming himself. His clenched lips swelled as if they were about to drip with blood again.

“Ben.”

He slowly raised his head but still bit his lips, perhaps he was unaware of the pain. Cersinia didn’t want another scar on his torn lips, so she took a step closer to him and reached out her hand. Her fingers touched his cold lips. Ben’s shoulders flinched, perhaps surprised by the sudden contact.

“Stop biting it.”

“Ah…”

His lips fluttered open in a warm touch.

“It’s cold.”

Cersinia frowned at the cold temperature felt on her fingertips. As expected, his body was as cold as ice. Ben’s lips were cold as someone who would die from frostbite at any moment.

‘I really can’t help it…’

The temperature she felt in her hands was terrifying. Cersinia lowered her hand which reached out to check his condition. White, slender fingers passed over his torn lips and rested on his chest.

“Urgh…”

As her warm hands touched his chest, Ben trembled and stopped breathing. Cersinia looked at his quivering eyelashes and raised the heat to her hand. The heat that ran through her palms spread into his chest. His blue lips returned to a reddish hue as if proving that the heated hat had been transmitted. She took her hands away from Ben’s body without hesitation. Ben looked sadly at the hands that got away from his body.

“…Cersinia’s hands were still warm,” his low voice seemed to contain a lot of meaning.

Cersinia looked at him sternly. Ben, who seems to have many stories in his own way, was lost in thought for a moment as if recalling the past. After some time passed, he raised his head slowly and said, “I’ve always missed you. It’s really true.”

Both his eyes looked truthful, deprived of lies. The look of his eyes that had been shaking for a while ago had disappeared.