Chapter 101.1

“There’s nothing I can’t say, really.”

Reynard smiled with his eyes, wondering what was so good about hearing the criticism. That laugh was hard, but instead of forcing herself to laugh, she felt like he really liked her, so Yurina shook off her depressed mood and laughed along.

Reynard, who had kissed Yurina’s palm loudly, quietly asked, removing his hand.

“Or should I do it one more time?”

“Never.”

Yurina slapped him on the shoulder, then slid off his body and sat on the edge of the bed. She lowered her gaze, surveyed her reddish-marked skin, and picked up the dress she had left by the bed.

As she hurriedly put it on, she felt Reynard hug her tightly from behind.

After tying the laces at the back of her dress, he carefully brushed away the hair that was trapped under the fabric.

Even without looking at his expression, Yurina could tell that he was worried about something, because the hand that held her waist was full of strength.

But instead of asking if everything was okay, she patted him on the outside of his arm and calmly began to wait for his story.

Raynard buried his face into Yurina’s neck, which was damp with sweat. At night, when everyone was sleeping, only the sound of his breathing could be heard in the room.

“Yes, Yurina.”

“Huh?”

“…My mother died three days after giving birth to me.”

Just one sentence.

But now, having only heard the first sentence of the story, Yurina’s heart was already shaken.

“My father loved my mother so much that he sat in front of her grave for several days. If Aunt Marie, next door, hadn’t looked after me, I’d be dead. Aunt Marie always wanted to have a baby, and this is how it turned out. You could say I grew up on Aunt Marie’s milk.”

“Ah…”

“My father, who came home at Aunt Marie’s urging. But he came back a completely different person. He hated me. Just because my mother died because of me.”

It was a self-deprecating voice. Yurina shook her head, noticing in his voice that he was still guilty of his mother’s death.

“But it’s not your fault.”

“I know. And Aunt Marie said the same. In addition to my mother, there were many others who also died in childbirth. However, I didn’t feel comfortable…”

“…”

“…But think about it this way. My mother died in childbirth and my eyes were red. What did my father think when he saw me like this? Yes, if I were in his place, I would also hate myself.”

Reynard asked to think about it, but Yurina couldn’t dare imagine what he must have been through.

The child who brought the death of his mother. He probably grew up on such accusations. Even though it wasn’t his fault.

Yurina thought of the face of the 12-year-old boy who had been hurt by Mrs. Lauren, who had been pointing at his red eyes as unlucky, so he had damaged his own face.

At the time, she thought he was in pain when people pointed him out.

But that wasn’t it. He was denied from his very existence.

-Everyone didn’t pay attention to my birthday.

Before her eyes flashed the face of a little boy who cried at his own birthday party.

Yurina and the servants thought he was shy. But in his head there was only the thought that by his birth he had killed his own mother.

‘That’s why he cries every time we have a party.’

Yurina now knew why, even as he got older, he cried every time his friends threw him a birthday party.

If he had been raised by a normal father, he wouldn’t have faced this. Rather, his father would have tried to give him twice as much love so that the little son wouldn’t notice the absence of his mother and wouldn’t blame himself. Unfortunately, however, his father blamed his wife’s death on his son.

Yurina’s face flushed red and her vision was blurred. Yurina pretended to touch her cheek so that Reynard wouldn’t notice and wiped the tears from her eyes as quietly as possible.

“However, I don’t think my father hated me very much. If he really hated me, then he wouldn’t give a damn and dumped me. Still, my father never starved me or neglected me.”

Raynard spoke up to this point, stopped for a moment and muttered something soft, like talking to himself.

“He didn’t love me… but.”

“At first it wasn’t easy. I was little, I went to kindergarten and cooked with my own hands. And then my father remarried. My stepmother bathed me, cut my hair hair grew back, and bought me new clothes when my clothes got smaller.”

“Huh.”

“However, I couldn’t call him a good father. He didn’t beat me, but sometimes when he came drunk he threatened me and kept saying that my mother died because of me. I was so scared. When he woke up the next day, he always said that he was sorry and that he wouldn’t drink anymore. But he drank again and it happened again. So I pretended to sleep under the covers whenever he came in late. I thought it would make him less angry.”

Yurina bit her lips hard enough to hold back the tears that were about to leak out again.

Abuse is not just hitting and neglecting. Reynard’s father didn’t beat him or starve him, but he was obviously abusive.

Suddenly, the figure of Reynard flashed before Yurina’s eyes, shivering and tormented under the covers. Perhaps from a very young age, such a thin blanket was his only refuge.

Her heart broke at the thought of young Tom shivering under the covers in the corner of the room, avoiding his father’s shouts.

“However, he wasn’t a very bad father. If the neighbors beat me or teased me, he would go and scold them. You don’t know how supportive my father was every time that happened.”

Raynard, who was seriously continuing the conversation, suddenly laughed. It was a mock laugh, as if he had heard a joke that wasn’t funny.

“Isn’t that funny? My father was always angry with me, saying that I have ominous eyes, but he told them: what is so special about red eyes? But why did he never tell me that everything was okay with me?”

Yurina couldn’t say anything.

Your father couldn’t bear to tell you, but he must have loved you. Even if the words were cruel, in reality, he would have loved your eyes too.

Yurina couldn’t bear to tell such an outrageous lie. Those words only served to further pierce Reynard’s heart, which had already been hurt.