Chapter 81

Chapter 81

“Are you worried about something?”

Dimitri asked, sitting languidly in his chair and crossing his legs.

I nodded helplessly.

“Sasha isn’t eating.”

“Oh, she seems to want to cut her life short.”

At the playful tone, I glanced at him. Dimitri cleared his throat before asking in a slightly kinder, gentler voice than he had just used.

“Why did she go on a hunger strike? It’s probably because of the devil.”

“How did you know?”

“It’s obvious what’s inside her little head.”

“Do you think there’s a good way to convince Sasha?”

Asking that, I gazed at him earnestly, but Dimitri only gave me a blank stare as he smoothed his clothes out of habit.

“Well.”

When I read the atmosphere similar to Esca from him, I uttered bluntly.

“Is everyone not worried about Sasha? Making a deal with the devil to risk your life is too risky, am I the only one who thinks so?”

“Give it a little more time.”

“To Sasha? She’s so stubborn…”

However, Dimitri was looking at me. It was only then did I realize he was looking at me because he was saying that to me.

I stuttered in doubt.

“Did you just say that to me, in the sense of… giving myself time?”

Dimitri shrugged defensively.

“It’d be better for you to talk about this with someone else. I don’t want Rowaine to be resentful towards me.”

That word was the equivalent of an affirmative answer.

I stared at him in complete disbelief.

“Are you telling me to take my time? Are you implying that I’m being stubborn?”

Dimitri, who was straightforward and never one to backpedal, quickly brought up something else as if he’d rather get out of this subject of conversation.

“I hear the chef is doing a whole-roasted barbecue for dinner tonight. Didn’t Rowaine want to try it the other day? Did you say it’s called samgyeopsal*?”

[ T/N: Samgyeopsal refers to pork belly’s fat cap and the two leaner layers of meat below it, one light and one dark—grilled pork belly, which is a type of grilled dish in Korean cuisine. ]

“Dimitri.”

“You said you also wanted to serve it with strong liquor and with different kinds of leaves as garnishes, right?”

“I don’t mean to be angry.”

Dimitri squinted his eyes with suspicion as he looked at me. Seeing his reaction like that, I felt like I had been hit in the head.

‘Was I being too sensitive about this?’

…To the extent that he would avoid the conversation like that?

Looking back on my behavior so far, I felt a little embarrassed.

‘I just said no. Since it sounded too risky to me, I have no choice but to object, right?’

As I thought so, I felt that my attitude was the natural look that a guardian should have. Nonetheless, looking at Dimitri’s expression, I thought it would be a good idea to put aside the stubbornness simmering inside and listen to what he had to say.

“Wait a minute, let me take a deep breath.”

[ T/N: It’s kinda funny that she knows she needs to collect herself before going full Karen-mode LOL (๑ ˃́ ˂̀ ) ]

I closed my eyes as I took a slow breath, trying to silence the voice in my head that was frantically screaming, ‘Sasha shouldn’t be making a contract with the devil.’

I then smiled at Dimitri, indicating that I was ready to talk.

“Okay. Now, I can tell you that I’m not really trying to be angry. I just need to hear why everyone is saying that I’m being stubborn about this dangerous thing.”

Dimitri, who had been rolling his eyes, realized that he would no longer be able to avoid it.

“Alright, but let’s make sure we have a solid defense in place before we start talking.”

“Means of defense?”

Leaving me puzzled behind, he called the butler and the two whispered something in each other’s ear for a moment.

Soon after, the butler left the room and returned quickly.

Behind the returning butler, the kitchen staff brought plates and two-tiered trays and set them on the sofa table.

“Wow…”

Bread sliced ​​diagonally was toasted golden brown on a small furnace for toasting, along with butter with a rich and deep taste, pure white whipped cream, and the chef’s special jam was lined up on the table.

On top of that, there were sandwiches with a hard-boiled egg mashed up and stuffed with sliced vegetables, and millefeuille, a thin layer of pastry and not-too-sweet custard cream decorated with raspberries, on a two-tiered tray.

The top tier of the tray was filled with a variety of crisp sweets, including brandy snaps, a thin ginger cookie rolled into a cylinder and filled neatly with stiff cream, and biscuits sprinkled with sugar.

Dimitri looked at me, whose eyes were widened, and lifted his chin triumphantly like a well-prepared general ready for battle.

[ T/N: He knows a way to her heart well ٩(•̤̀ ᵕ •̤́ ๑ )ᵒᵏᵎᵎ ]

“Let’s talk while eating.”

“This is amazing.”

“When there was a shortage of employees, the chef said he wanted to show his gratitude to Rowaine for giving up dessert and reducing the kitchen work.”

I knew that he was appreciative of that, but I didn’t know that the chef would do this much.

Anyway, I topped the toasted bread with butter and blueberry jam. With a crunchy sound, the flavor of butter and the sweetness of homemade blueberry jam enraptured my tongue in ecstasy. Dimitri was really smart. Like this, he figured out how to make my heart warm and fuzzy so quickly.

But at the same time, I thought a lot about Sasha, who skipped breakfast.

‘I can’t believe she refused to eat even though there’s always so much delicious food.’

Dimitri asked, noticing my sudden change in mood.

“It doesn’t taste good?”

“No. I just remembered that Sasha is starving.”

“A meal is fine, Rowaine.”

“Why would she even do that?”

Dimitri took a sip of his wine and finally spoke seriously.

“Cats have an obsession with safety. We prioritize safety within the territory as our top priority.”

“I know, and that’s why I don’t understand it even more. If making a deal with the devil is so dangerous, why would you want to do something so risky?”

“We want to be more safe through the devil, because it’s a great source of power.”

“But if you make a contract with the devil and die, doesn’t that great power become useless?”

“Being obsessive about such things is painful because it means you are under a lot of pressure.”

“….”

“Do you understand what it feels like to be terrorized in your daily life by the idea that you’re not strong enough to defend yourself?”

As I shook my head, I suddenly remembered something from the past and stiffened.

I had a brother who was four years older than me. He was easily angered and violent. Not only that, but I also had a patriarchal father who ruled over me like a king because I was his daughter. The four-year age difference in childhood was an insurmountable barrier.

I had to helplessly submit to my brother’s irrational and capricious commands, or else I was punched. Even when I obeyed, I was often beaten.

In the eyes of my older brother, who was four years older, everything I did seemed immature and frustrating.

Even after seeing my brother beating me recklessly, my father would turn a blind eye and say, “Young children can fight,” so my brother’s domineering behavior, which only got worse as his violence was justified. When my father saw my brother hitting me without permission, he turned a blind eye, saying, “Little kids can fight,” and my brother’s domineering behavior became more and more justified.

Fear in everyday life…

…I knew it well.

When I burst into tears and screamed in protest, my mom would scold my brother, and my dad would yell at her for killing their son’s energy. Guilt and anxiety sprouted as my parents fought because I couldn’t stand it. Still, the unbearable anguish and fear…

I asked Dimitri.

“Are you saying that Sasha is always afraid, even in this peaceful place, because she thinks she’s not strong enough?”

“All cats have a little bit of that obsession, but there are cats who rely on someone like Coco and naturally enjoy peace, while there are cats who feel particularly obsessive and run amok like Sasha. Because of that, she constantly wants to test her strength and show off, which is why she fights with everyone.”

“Ah…”

I didn’t know that. Not at all.

“Then… then, will she be okay if she makes a contract with the devil?”

Dimitri smiled meaningfully.

“The worse the fear, the more powerful demons they summon because demons covet someone’s negative emotions and want to burrow into them. Sasha will summon a demon as strong as the magnitude of her fear, and if she fights it and wins, she’ll be able to fill the fear in her heart with demons, and then she’ll be relieved, just like I did.”

He was beaming with pride, but I felt a little sorry for him.

As far as I knew, his demon was the most powerful demon in terms of combat power. How much fear did he feel until he made a contract with such a devil?

‘It must be the influence of Madam Elbas.’

He grew up under severe abuse.

Dimitri comforted me by suggesting dessert to me, who was speechless for a moment.

“Don’t worry too much, Rowaine. Since Sasha is still young, it’s probably better for her to make a contract with the devil.”

I was surprised to hear that. Isn’t it usually more dangerous when you’re young and inexperienced?

“Why?”

“Young children are less susceptible to demons’ subtle tricks.”

“Isn’t it easier for them because they’re naive?”

At my words, Dimitri laughed low in his throat.

“Do you know how great of a weapon a child can be to the devil when they have a limited vocabulary and don’t know what’s going on in the world? A child’s desires are limited and pure.”

As I didn’t quite understand what that was about, he patiently explained it to me.

“For demons who use sugar coating as their main weapon to corrupt the soul, there are surprisingly only a few ways to destroy an innocent person with clean desires.”

“That…!”

“Sasha hasn’t had a proper education yet, and she’s stupid enough that she won’t fall to the devil easily.”

[ T/N: IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A COMPLIMENT?! LOL ( ˃́ ∀ ˂̀ ) ]

It was true that I didn’t teach Sasha knowledge about human affairs, such as academics or etiquette, but…

‘Stupid… No, isn’t it too much to say that? Why does he even look so proud of himself as well?’

Dimitri showed unwavering faith that Sasha would survive and fulfill the contract without being attacked by the demon. Seeing that, I couldn’t help but stare at him blankly, not knowing whether to laugh or frown.

“Is that a compliment…?”

“Of course. Sasha is one of the strongest cats I’ve ever seen.”

He continued.

“Cat shapeshifters are independent when they’re at Sasha’s age. A cat that can hunt and live on its own deserves to be treated like an adult. Give Sasha her freedom.”

“An adult… she’s still so small and delicate.”

When I hesitated, unconvinced, Dimitri said as if he had a good idea.

“It would be better to see it yourself than to hear it a hundred times.”

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