Chapter 225: Memories (5)

It was night.

Rewen looked at the stars while laying on the ground. He was still in the graveyard. For hours, he had been contemplating his life. He had always known his true self. Hiding behind a facade of normalcy, he thought that he could continue to deceive himself for his entire life.

He was wrong.

He was not normal.

He could never be.

While believing himself to be fairly righteous, he was bipolar, opportunist, manipulative, and can go through any lengths to accomplish his goals. He thought back to the time when he cut off the limbs of members of Blood Squad and then used the healing liquid to not let them die. It was strange.

He had a strong desire to 'just not kill' but has no problem doing things that are worse than death.

Why does he have such a strong aversion to death?

He slowly started to question things he neglected before. 

He got some answers and some were unanswered.

By the end of his questions, he realized that he was a true hypocrite. He wants and for a long time believed himself to be a 'fairly normal righteous person' but he had always been a sketchy individual with some disturbing elements. The mask of modesty and understanding falls off once he feels that he has been pushed too far.

"Well then, I guess I'm done cooling off." 

Rewen said, getting up from the ground. Wiping off the dust from his clothes, he gave one last look at the grave his father was buried in.

"Thanks for saving me, Father. Next time, I'll bring Mother. It's time for you to rest in peace and leave your unfinished business to me." 

Then, he walked away.

***

Little Rewen sat on the dining table having a warm dish in front of him. It was one of the dishes he liked. His attention, however, was not at the food but rather at his mother sitting opposite to her who also had food laid in front of her and was eating with an absent-minded look.

There was an empty chair beside her.

Every time she looked at the chair, she resisted the urge to break into tears. 

"Mh… ekkk…" Eventually, she couldn't hold back any longer and started sobbing.

Little Rewen shook his legs and opened his mouth. "Mother."

His mother didn't answer and continued to sob.

Little Rewen went quiet for a while, then opened his mouth once again. "Mother. Is it my fault that… Father is… no more?" His expression was seventy percent curiosity and thirty percent nervousness.

His mother stopped sobbing as soon as she heard his question. "No… that's not the case. Who told you this nonsense!?"

"This… others were talking about it." Little Rewen hesitantly answered.

"Your father died saving me and his death has nothing to do with you." His mother made up the story of 'her husband killed by a beast while trying to save her' the moment she woke up. She had her own reasons for doing so.

Little Rewen fell quiet and began to eat his food.

A few minutes later, he again spoke up. "If… if I hadn't wanted berries, Father wouldn't need to save you and die." 

"Don't say things that don't make sense! Quietly eat your food and go to your room." His mother aggressively answered as her body started shaking from anger.

Little Rewen appeared to be taken aback by the visible anger his mother was displaying. He had never seen his mother get so angry over him. Lowering his head, he continued to eat without a word.

"But---"

"Didn't I tell you to eat your dinner quietly? You are just a six-year-old and you are already being defiant?" 

*Clang*

Pushing the chair, she got up from her chair and walked to Little Rewen. "Did I not tell you to quietly eat? Why are you asking meaningless questions? Can you not see that I'm not in a mood to answer your questions?" Momentary anger and stress led her to forget that the person she was scolding was a six-year-old who couldn't understand more than half of what she was saying.

Little Rewen, however, did know that his mother was angry and thus, quietly lowered his head.

Somehow, his mother got even angrier seeing him quiet and lashed out by striking his head.

Little Rewen was only a child. He couldn't resist the strike from a person significantly stronger than him and fell down from the chair. While falling, his head made contact with a pointed edge on the wall.

The region he got hurt was just over his eye. Being an extremely sensitive part, blood began to leak out from the part. "Wa…" Not being able to resist the pain, he cried out as tears began to streak down from his eyes.

His mother's expression changed. She showed a hesitant expression but got increasingly agitated. "Get up! And go to the bathroom this instant!"

"Wah…" Little Rewen kept crying. How could a child have the energy to go to the bathroom after he had been hurt badly? 

"Get up! Don't make me repeat my words." His mother said, sitting down on the chair he was previously seated and watched him.

"Hick!" Little Rewen shuddered, then tried to stand on his two feet. He failed two times. On the third time, with the support of the dining table, he somehow managed to stand. Aside from his forehead where it was bleeding non-stop, he was also dizzy.

With light steps, he headed towards the bathroom.

His mother followed him. Immediately after entering the bathroom, she filled up a bucket with water, then instructed Little Rewen to clean himself.

Little Rewen looked at his mother with a miserable expression. "I… I'm sorry… I didn't want Father to---" Before he could complete his sentence, his neck was grabbed and his head was forced into the bucket.

"I didn't tell you to open your mouth!" His mother went insane after every single thing he was saying.

Little Rewen struggled to get his head out of the water but how could his resistance compare to his mother? 

His mother finally recovered her senses and loosened her grip on her son's neck.

"Cough… cough… cough!" Little Rewen coughed ceaselessly. Without saying a word, he washed his face and exited the bathroom. Immediately after doing so, he headed outside the house.

"Stop. Where are you going?" His mother tried to stop him but he didn't. "He is becoming increasingly defiant. Unless I do something, he won't listen to me." She wanted to chase after him but eventually didn't.

A minute later, Little Rewen came back with a wooden sword in his hand. The moment he came back, he saw his mother looking at him with cold eyes.

He instinctively shrunk back and wanted to run. 

"Why did you go outside this late at night?" His mother asked him in a nonchalant tone.

"I-I wanted to get Father's sword." Little Rewen nervously answered.

His mother's expression didn't change one bit. "Could you not have tomorrow? How many times did I tell you to not go outside at night?" Saying so, she approached him and landed a slap on his face.

*Pah*

His left white cheek turned red. Putting his hands on his cheeks, he lowered his head. "I won't do it again, Mother." 

His mother pointed her finger towards his room. "Go and sleep. For the final time, don't make me repeat myself."

Little Rewen did as he was told.

His mother watched him go inside his room with the wooden sword, then went to the kitchen and started washing the plates. While picking up the plates from the dining table, she has no way of noticing that a young man a few years younger than her was sitting on the chair her husband used to seat.

The young man was precisely Rewen.

From start to finish, he had watched everything happening in front of his eyes.

His face hasn't changed one bit. Rubbing his forehead, he said, "That's the ugliest I have ever seen Mother." He could barely recall anything from his childhood and this particular incident was not without exception. At first, he was shocked by how his mother had transformed. Slowly, he figured that it was temporary rage that came from the grief of his father's death and the subconscious blame towards his younger self.

That doesn't mean that it's "all good".

Rewen saw the ugly side of his mother and decided to confront her as soon as he got the time to.

He turned his sight back on his mother who was sobbing while washing the plates.

"Literally every woman after fucking something up." For some reason, one of Rewen's dormant parts of his brain - misogyny got triggered. 

*Clang*

She stopped washing the plates midway. Washing her hand, she headed towards Little Rewen's room. She saw that her son was hugging his father's wooden sword. Coming close to the bed, she took the wooden sword and got into the bed.