Chapter 469 - 469

The water was comforting. Alex did not mind the cold, he didn't care about his numbing body or his suffocated lungs. All he wanted was something, even fragments of what he had lost. If he had to sink, then he would, if he had to simply lay at the bottom of the lake, forgotten he would. He needed to see, he needed to know and if this was his only chance he wasn't going to waste it. Just one memory, right after the other, that familiar sensation of losing everything and then getting it back. His fate was a vicious circle, giving him the same struggles again and again. Every time he survived, he would lose a part of him. He would sacrifice it to gain something else but not this time. Right now, as he stood at the finish line he wanted it all. The happiness, the memories, the people. Alex wanted to have everything for once and not give nothing. He wanted to be selfish, reckless. 

He screamed underwater, his green eyes hidden by his closed eyelids as one more image wrapped him into oblivion. A spectator of his own life, having to be informed of the events. He was pitiful, an outside between his own people, just a figure with no past. 

"I think it's time to stop looking at the stars." Theseus whispered to him and Allias groaned, furrowing his eyebrows. "We need to leave, what if someone sees us?" The Disee elf asked him. 

They were peacefully sitting in the gardens of the Avgee palace. Laid on the soft grass, feeling the summer breeze in each other's hands while looking at the starry sky the prince loved so much. They just wouldn't stop sparkling. Sprayed out on the night sky like jewels, valuable and distant. There was something about the stars, something that made Allias feel incredibly lonely but at the same time as if he was being surrounded by people. He turned on his side, facing his lover with a sleepy look.

"You haven't been looking at the stars" he told him and Theseus smiled. 

"I have been looking at you, it's pretty much the same for me." He fluttered him and the young elf blushed at his words. 

"You see me almost every day." 

"I do."

"You will get bored of my face soon. Then you will tell me all the time to come and see the stars." Allias said with a pout, making the general laugh. 

"Is that what you think?"

"That's what's natural after all."

"So you will get bored of seeing me too?" Theseus asked him and Allias' beautiful eyes widened in shock. 

"Never!" He exclaimed. Theseus caressed his cheek, playing with the curls that fell in front of the prince's face. He seemed happy, moments like these, when it was just him and Allias, when the world was silent and there was no judgment Theseus found himself wanting to stop time.

"Then it's the same for me. No matter what happens, no matter how old we get or how often we see each other. Your beautiful eyes, your cheerful smile and your pink lips. I would never get bored of them. All of these are simply small details to you being yourself. I adore you, how could I get bored of what makes you…you" 

"Theseus…" Allias called his name, silently like a secret prayer and his eyes showed a sadness. A beast that the elf knew he couldn't battle, no matter  how hard he tried to fight all of Allias' fears. It nested deep into his heart, in places so dark it was hard to see. It would appear from time to time, behind that vast green and make Theseus wonder, worry and hurt as he watched his expression change. 

"Tell me my love." Theseus answered, giving him a small smile. 

"I am scared."

"Of what?"

"Of myself. Of how selfish I am. I want everything. I want you, I want my crown and the beautiful palace, I think that maybe…me being like this will only cause disaster and I will end up losing you." 

"You won't lose me. You could never lose me Allias. I am a part of you. I belong to you. I will be your shield and your sword. So look at me, my most beautiful man, the kindest and smartest king in this nation." he told him, cupping his face and smiling brightly. "You and I will always find each other. Even if we forget each other, even if we can't see each other anymore, even if we are lost. You and I stick like glue, even if it can be annoying sometimes. I will make sure you get everything. I will make sure you can have the world, because you deserve it and because you want it." Theseus had told him that night. And he would try, the elf would try so hard but in the end, he wouldn't succeed. 

….

The battlefield was a wretched place. Haunted by the souls of those who had given their last breath to an unfair fight. The soil drowned in blood, dump and crying crimson tears as the soldiers cried and screamed, begging for this to end, cursing the fates that brought them there to die for someone else's cause. 

Allias despised the battlefield. No matter how much he shone, no matter how far he could throw his spear, no matter if his fighting looked like the most elegant dance he still hated it. One stepped into it and he wished everything would just stop. He stepped on a dead soldier, running away from others who were after him, panting and sweaty, filled with dirt. 

He had just stepped on someone's dead body, disrespected their soul but sadly, he had no time to think about it. There were no seconds for remorse, no time to look back and grieve while you tried to not be the next. 

The prince's heartbeat was silenced by the fighting screams, the clashing of the lethal blades and the groans of the defeated. Such a gruesome scene. People falling like burned matches, stopping to exist so easily. He was immortal, he had lived for so long but why was he scared of death? Why did he find life suddenly so valuable when he had tried to end it once? 

His eyes wondered, scanning through the tired faces of the soldiers. He was searching, searching for something, for someone. Theseus. He was the reason why he was afraid. He was afraid that he wouldn't have time with him. If he died there, if an enemy pierced through his heart then there wouldn't be any more time left. 

He heard him scream at him, his eyes wide, his sword clasped in his fist. 

"Concentrate!" He screamed as he ran towards him. 

Focus. Allias scolded himself and threw his spear again, piercing two people this time. He summoned it back, feeling their blood drip on the delicate weapon and he frowned. Theseus had disappeared from his eyes once again. 

He didn't look for him this time. He had to concentrate, make sure he wasn't going to die. A few hours, a few days. No one knew how long this battle would last before he dragged his feet back to his tent, exhausted, filled with bruises and cuts. For now, all he had to do was fight.

"Are you insane?" Theseus had shouted at him back at their tent. They were both tired, buried in dirt, dried blood on their clothes and skin. They looked uncivilized, they looked as if they thrived on the battlefield. He hated that image. Allias just wanted to wash off all of the death, all of the murdering off him. 

"I'm sorry." Allias mumbled.

"You're sorry? You can't just be absentminded like that on the battlefield. You could die Allias! What the heck were you thinking?" Theseus asked him, his eyes landing on him judgmentally. The prince was sitting at a stool, worn out from the use and his feet dangled impatiently as he looked at the ground. "Answer me." The general told him and he raised his head, staring at him with tears in his eyes. 

"We won't have time, Theseus." he cried. "I don't feel good about this. Something is not right. I will die." he said, feeling like someone was pressing on his heart. Theseus' eyes widened, staring at him stunned. 

"Don't you ever say that again" he said between gritted teeth. 

"It doesn't matter if I say it or not. I feel it, something is wrong." he mumbled. 

Theseus walked towards him, grabbing him by his collar and raising him from his chair. 

"Don't you dare even think about it." He told him, filled with anger and pain. His eyes were now glistening too. "You won't die. You will never die, we have so many things to do. I am not letting you die!" He shouted and let go of him. Allias felt bad, he had made Theseus cry with his stupid worries. He hugged the general, hearing him sob in his arms as he cried silently. 

"I'm sorry. I will never say that again. I promise. Hey, look at me." he said, trying to fake a smile. 

"We're immortal, we have all the time in the world. This will be nothing but a stupid memory one day." 

They were immortal, they were supposed to live forever and that knowledge alone took so much away from them. Theseus didn't want to stay even when Allias begged, the prince was reckless and devoured by his dark thoughts. Allias gave his life away without a second thought just to make sure that Theseus would live. Their lives were supposed to never end but for some reason that wasn't comforting. Ares and Ea, they always relied on tomorrow until the fear that tomorrow would never come crushed on their shoulders. 

Immortality wasn't a blessing. It was simply oblivion. 

Alex found himself at the water surface, looking around him as he panted. 

"I don't have time." he whispered as he swam out of the water. Stumbling as he ran back to where he came from. His clothes were wet, weighing him down but he didn't mind. He returned to the spot he had left everyone else but no one was there. Angry he kicked a stone rubbing his face. "Is it the gods? Who is it? The fates? Why is everyone enjoying making me go through the same shit again and again." he cried. "Where did you go?" he asked, just a small person in this huge forest when he heard a voice talk to him.

"I didn't go anywhere, I will always wait for you."