Chapter 169 - 169

What would you do if the world ended? If you had just one day where you could do anything and then you would just disappear. Become nothing in a crumbled universe. Would you stay with your family? Would you meet your friends or would you confess your painful one sided love? Would you eat all the food you want without feeling guilty or would you just lie in bed, waiting for your torturous life to end? So many people on this planet and so many possibilities as to what someone would do. 

Alexander had never thought of those questions. That scenario had never played out in his head because at the end of the day he never had something to lose or someone he wished to hold on to. Alexander for every year of his life, meticulously counting seventeen up to this day, deep inside of him wished that the world would end. That his life which was a plain nothing would finally come to a stop and he wouldn't be forced to endure any longer. That was, until he met Luke that fateful night. The boy had always kept a secret, a painful one that always made him hide and worried. On that night he added one more secret to his pitiful collection, one that wasn't about him but the grey eyed wolf that stole his miserable heart. He didn't want to die anymore and suddenly his black and white, filled with shadows world, became brighter, more beautiful, with so many shades and colors and that was it with just the thought of him. Just the simple thought of a person made him endure and want to move one. Someone could say he was foolish but at the end of the day that kept him alive. 

Right now though, Mikael had begun the end of his universe. The words he had uttered, the painful heartbreak and the shock of his exposure was as if someone was pressing that huge red button that signaled his self-destruction. First, your heart breaks then it's your mind and your body will follow suit. Your cheeks will hollow, your bones will start to show underneath your body, black bags under your lifeless eyes until you turn into nothing, until you are gone. Alexander was certain. If anyone found out about his secret that would be him, shut in a dungeon or a prison, forced to do things he didn't want. 

"Alexander? Hey! Can you hear me?" Mikael called him out and shook him from his shoulders. The teen blinked, getting out of his terrifying daze and stared at him, thinking of what his next words should be. 

"How much do you know? Did my mother tell you?" He asked and looked at him. A gaze Mikael had never seen on him, cold and almost frightening. He removed his hands from his body and sat down. 

"I didn't say any of this to anyone. Luke and I figured out that something was wrong when this whole thing happened. It's unheard of for a wolf to faint of exhaustion and on top of that not even heal. Yes, some are weaker, closer to humans but there are characteristics that always pass on no matter how weak your blood line is" Mikael told him and Alexander nodded. 

Was there a point in him hiding? One day he expected it that his secret would be revealed. He wouldn't be able to hide it for a long time, becoming an adult soon and all. So if he should tell someone maybe Mikael would be better than the Alpha. He seemed at least slightly more reasonable. Alexander had never liked their leader. He always favored the strong ones, pretending people like him did not exist. 

"Do you want to know?" Alexander asked him. "What's wrong with me."

"I am curious. I don't think that is something that you could be hiding forever after all." Mikael said and he nodded. 

"Well then, just to make things clear I am a wolf or at least I was at some point. Until I reached eleven years old. Then one day I decided I didn't want to be a monster anymore and my mother to protect me, she took me to a witch. She gave her money in exchange of sealing my powers." 

"A monster? What do you mean? Yeah I get it some of us are brutal and idiots but not all wolves are monsters so why would you…" Mikael wondered staring at Alexander filled with curiosity. The boy smiled, his eyes staring right in front of him, as painful memories replayed. He was so young, too young to go through something like this. 

"I wasn't like everyone else." He explained. "I…I killed someone when I had just turned ten and I had enjoyed it. I was strong and I liked it. Imagine how horrible it would be, if a child like me remained in our pack. I was vicious. Until one day I made a friend. One year later. He was nice and now that I think about it maybe he was my first love, I don't know. I was mean to him but he just wouldn't leave alone, run behind me all the time like he wished to catch up. We would fight and once I broke his arm but still, he was nice to me, he always smiled until one day…I killed him too. That was when my mother realized that there was something terribly wrong with me. I began to notice it too, how there was something in me that wasn't like everyone else in the pack. It was scary, a lot scarier than anything you had ever seen and at that time I was just eleven. I was a monster and I hated it, so I went to the witch. She sealed my power and told my mother what was wrong with me. She also told her that now I would be weak and sickly, even worse than a human. I still preferred it. After I saw him dead by my hands I didn't care anymore. That was when the bullying began too." 

Mikael stared at him, thinking that he could never imagine Alexander as a child monster. He always looked so timid and kind. 

"What had happened to you?" he asked.

"My wolf spirit. I was turning into the Great White Wolf"