Chapter 392 - 392

The moment he looked at him he forgot that Mikael was here. He forgot where he was and what was happening around him. All he could see was Asmodeus, he could see him from head to toe, the blurriness from his tears had cleared out and the tall demon was right in front of him. 

"Wait." Mark told him. Asmodeus though was not moving, he had told him to wait for what? He didn't seem like he was intending to leave, he simply stood there staring at Mark with a heartbroken expression. He had hurt him, again. Once more Mark had been the reason of his grief and the thought of that made his heart ache. He was horrible, everything was his fault. "Wait" he repeated. That was the only thing he could say, everything else was blurry and unclear. His lips could mouth only one word and each time he tried to tell him something else his throat would clog. 

Who would talk first and what would they say? It was like a game of guessing. Mark would speak or would the demon? They couldn't possibly know since the truth was they had nothing to say. It was as if they were frozen in thime, stuck and none of them had the courage to utter a word. It was depressing to watch. 

"It was a mistake." Mikael said and Asmodeus' eyes landed on the wolf who had the audacity to break their silence. His eyes showed pure hatred as they looked into Mikael's. The wolf didn't expect anything else. It was natural. "It was my fault. I kissed him he didn't want to...." Mikael was trying to explain, fix the wrong he had done but no words managed to escape his lips further. Asmodeus was right in front of him, in the blink of an eye. A very skillful showcase of their gap in power. He grabbed Mikael by the neck and with his eyes examined his face.

"What is it with you wolves and self restrain? I am a fucking demon and I can do better than that" he told him, his voice coming out cold and distant. Mikael was huffing, trying to breathe in some air while his face was slowly turning pale. 

"Asmodeus, wait. Don't hurt him" Mark said. The demon turned his head to the side. His fangs, his horns, his eyes. All those things that made him different now seemed so obvious. He was a demon, Mark realized and for the first time in a while he was afraid. 

"Why do you care if I hurt him or not?" The demon asked and with a swift movement of his hand he threw Mikael at the end of the corridor. His body slammed on the wall, making it crack and a pile of dust to rise from the pieces that fell. The wolf immediately fell unconscious and Asmodeus turned his body completely so now they were standing right in front of the other.

"Because that's what's normal. I care if an innocent person gets hurt." Mark told him.

"Innocent? Innocent?" Asmodeus asked him. "He kissed you."

"Yeah, that's not enough for you to want to kill him!" The red haired exclaimed. He was feeling guilty, he felt horrible for what had happened but moments like this, moments where he had to explain to him the simplest of things, when he seemed to be so distant from the human ity he wanted so much to possess Mark could help but feel hopeless and that agitated him.

"What?...Are you really going to defend him? I don't get you ....what he did was wrong" Asmodeus said. Mark's sigh was a very obvious sign that he was fed up. The demon recognized it instantly.

"I am not defending him!" The red haired told him, raising his voice. "I am just telling you that what he did was not enough for you to want to physically hurt him"

"I don't want to hurt him. I want to kill him." The demon said with no signs of remorse showing on his face.

"Asmodeus! Stop! This is not right. I'm sorry. I really am sorry because this could have been avoided. I was stupid too but you can't say that...it makes you sound like a...monster" he told him and the demon looked at him stunned. He took a step back, confused. Was he upset? Was he annoyed? He couldn't tell, it was something different. A heavy feeling on his chest, a numbness and a bitter taste on his tongue. As he looked at his boyfriend, as his voice calling him a monster echoed in the walls of his mind he realized he felt disappointed. With himself or with Mark? That, he didn't know.

"How could you say that to me?" Asmodeus asked him. Yes, he was disappointed with Mark. He took another step back, his boots making a sliding noise on the polished floor and his eyes landed to the floor. He could see his reflection, everything had been made up perfectly for the wedding, shining and clean but why did he feel so dirty? As if he had been stuck in a pile of trash, as if he was one of them. He looked at Mark, there was remorse on his expression. He felt even more guilty now but what was the point? He had said it there is no way to take it back.

"Wait" Mark said. He had said it again. Asmodeus couldn't help but wonder, wait for what? Wait for him to find the right words to say? Wait for this whole thing to be erased from their memories? Who knew? He definitely didn't. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean is Asmodeus. Really" he said and extended his hand. He wanted to touch him but to the demon that didn't seem fair. If he allowed Mark to touch him, if he felt his soft skin on his, like an old charm Asmodeus knew he would be bewitched. That's why he took another step back, careful as if he was walking on a tight rope right above a strong sea. He should fall, he couldn't. Mark had called him a monster. 

There was a storm inside of him, scary and wild. He was trying to keep it in. But he could hear it. Again and again. Monster, monster. His hands formed fists on his sides and Mark spoke again.

"I'm sorry. This was not your fault I'm the first place. I really am. I shouldn't have called you that but you...you can't just go around killing people when it comes to me. It's not right"

"I haven killed a person in years" Asmodeus said.

"Yeah that's because you were locked up, if you...shit" he swore the moment he realized what he had said. "I didn't mean it that way. Wait, just..." 

"Wait for what Mark?" Asmodeus finally asked him "wait for you to find the right words to say? To hide the fact that deep inside you think that I am a monster? I've been trying, I've been trying so hard from the moment that I laid eyes on you. I read books and watched people. I tried to understand their thoughts. I really wanted to stop being a monster and I loved you. I thought that loving you was a good sign, I could feel something else rathen than rage. I could smile when you smiled and for the first time I felt anxious and happy and confused. I was trying and even now every fucking day I am trying again again to the point sometimes I am so exhausted. But you know what? You believed in me, you saw something in me. That's what you kept telling me and I felt that this whole self hatred, this whole need to change was worth it as long as I could be with you. I'm an idiot, I am so stupid to think that a human would be able to see me difffently. I won't wait, I won't wait for you to filter your words just for you to make believe something you don't. I am in constant pain. I am hurting so much because I know I can never fully be what you want. One part of me will always be a monster that doesn't understand humans and I can't do anything about it. All I've been doing...from the very first moment, it was for you." 

"I didn't mean to call you a monster. I don't think you are one!" Mark told him. "I'm telling you the truth. Sometimes people say things that they don't mean. I am sorry"

"If you do that, then how will I know what's true or not Mark?" 

"You just know. You know that I love you." 

"Do you love all of me?" Asmodeus asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're kind. You're nice and you care about others. I know you would never be able to overlook that there is a dark part of me I can't control all the time. So Mark, do you love all of me or just the part of me that tries to be human?" Asmodeus asked him and Mark stared at him in shock. "If we had taken the trial Mark, they would make you choose. I know they would and for some reason I think you wouldn't have chosen me." 

"Asmodeus..." Mark called out his name. He was stuck. He had never thought of something like this, something so complicated. He couldn't even believe that Asmodeus did. To Mark Asmodeus was simply Asmodeus and that was that. He didn't care, he loved him. It was as simple but why couldn't he tell him? The demon waited for a while and slowly a bitter smile formed on his face.

"Loving you Mark, it's torture." He told him and disappeared.

....

Hello! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. How does the story seem so far? I wanted some Asmodeus and Mark time. They are my favorite couple! Also Asmodeus is so sweet like I can't.. Shame on you Mark.