Chapter 8

Leopold seemed to stop breathing for a moment. Her dazzling smile that he thought he would never see again made his heart ache.

His heart shouldn’t beat strangely. Hazel shouldn’t notice…….

He was so disappointed when her slender hands moved away from his chest even though he was nervous. If he can only hug her like this and beg her for forgiveness.

But overwhelming fear stopped him. Hazel should never find out that he has memories of the past…….

Hazel was self-sacrificing and bitterly regretting her love from the moment she woke up. She would probably think that everything would be the same and just pretend that the marriage never happened and leave.

If she finds out the truth in this situation, he will no longer have the opportunity to talk to her face-to-face like today. Why did he make her come back to life? It was much better to be a hypocrite than not to see Hazel.

So he has to hold it for now. But never to be suspicious.

It was the same reason why he couldn’t deny it when she asked if it was because of reputation why he can’t let her go. It’s not time to be hasty yet.

“I’ll go ahead and rest.”

Hazel, who greeted him as if she was relieved, left the dining room without waiting for an answer. The sense of distance felt in her every action was painful.

Can I change her mind…….

Leopold breathed and buried himself in the chair where Hazel sat on with a pale face.

Somehow, there seemed to be a little bit of warmth left. He took comfort in it, as he rested his head on his back, and closed his eyes.

He knew that he’s weakened and his stamina had been greatly reduced, so he was suddenly exhausted.

Peter approached him anxiously, but with a light gesture, he signaled everyone to leave.

Soon there was a silence that seemed to have stopped time.

A thought suddenly occurred to him when Hazel visited Isabel. Although he asked to keep everything secret, she was and is still on Hazel’s side.

Before returning, Leopold visited Isabel every day after deciding to turn back time. After successful persuasion, he exercised  regression magic under her supervision every evening.

That’s how he spent five long years. Just as long as he and Hazel were married.

It was a crazy day because it was accompanied by mental and physical pain at the same time, but Isabel made a fuss about quitting every day, saying it was not strange if he died right away. He also heard sarcastic remarks that Hazel would love it if he did this after killing himself.

Tired of nagging, he even vowed to cut back on his academy sponsorship and never see Isabel again if he succeeded in returning.

However, the side effects developed after regression were not the type that could be controlled alone.

Leopold, who was forced to visit the academy, being careful not to overlap with Hazel’s movements, had to confess everything to get the medicine.

‘Hazel came in this morning, but even the Duke came for lunch. What the hell is going on here?’

She, who did not hide her intrigued eyes, clicked her tongue as if she had been tired of Leopold’s story.

‘No matter how hard it is, you’re out of your mind to turn back time.’

‘It was my best choice. Anyway, that’s not the point right now. Please give me medicine to hide my condition.’

‘You’re not fixing it, and instead you’re going to cheat? Why the hell?

‘I know only Hazel can cure me. But I don’t want to let her know that I went back in time.’

‘…It’s the Duke’s choice, whether to inform her or not, but I can’t come forward and help you commit suicide. I’m also a healer, Duke.’

Isabel, who was indirectly recommending treatment, concluded that his death was a foregone conclusion.

He didn’t want to admit it, yet he couldn’t argue that he wouldn’t die either because he could feel the flow of mana around his heart was so unstable. However, this debate was only exhausting at a time when it was not immediately known.

Fortunately, Leopold had the weapon called  wealth, and he was famous for being a person who didn’t show mercy on the negotiating table.

‘Leo!’

‘Please, Dean.’

Isabel, who regarded the academy as an alter ego, cursed and eventually gave him medicine.

‘You know that this drug is taboo because there is a risk of being used by the sick royal family.’

‘Yes.’

‘I know you’re already involved in something you shouldn’t touch, so I know you don’t care about it, but……. Oh, what’s the point of saying more? May God take care of your poor soul.”

‘You know, keep it a secret from Hazel. Everything I told you today.’

‘I don’t understand why you’re trying to hide it.’

‘……it’s because I’m a bad guy.’

‘You both don’t want to tell each other….…. Tsk tsk. Even if you pass it like this now, you’ll have to tell her everything one day. Otherwise, what good is it to risk your life and return to the past?’

Her voice reproaching him grew louder and louder and louder.

After all, it would be ridiculous to make a choice that risked your life and then commit yourself to doing something stupid again. But what other way is there?

Did he want to hold onto her somehow and keep her by his side, so he wanted it to be a contradictory situation where he had no choice but to pretend not to know?

Leaving his conversation with Isabel out of his head, Leopold uttered a self-deprecating laugh. A faint sigh spread through the quiet dining room.

The emperor’s closest confidant known for his rationality and cool-headedness, a meticulous and wise lord who makes no mistake.

This noble, however, used to be crushed without a trace every time in front of Hazel.

When it came to her, Leopold himself was more emotional than anyone else. Even the one who made the wrong choice to this point.

Actually, he knows.

If he gives up on himself, everything will go according to the rules. If he let go of his childish greed, he won’t have to ask Isabel for such an absurd favor or cheat Hazel. Maybe he’s making a mess of everything from scratch now.

However, he wanted to be by Hazel’s side even if it was forced like this.

It was okay if she didn’t put her heart into him like she used to, and it didn’t matter if she allowed herself to be with him only once a year. Even if she gives her heart to another man, he could comply.

Leopold just wanted to let her know.

Hazel, I never hated you, but rather, I love you with all my heart enough to give up my life twice and three times.

In addition, I hope you will be happy without suffering from the wounds I left behind.

If he adds a little selfishness to this, is it that he wants to stay with her as if I was a new person….?

To this end, honestly, life was good.

***

After tossing and turning all night thinking about what to do in the future, I eventually got out of bed before the sun was completely up.

Will she be able to persuade Mother by herself?

To be honest, it seemed almost impossible without my husband’s cooperation. She was the one who proceeded with our marriage, and she wants to annul it for no good reason. In any case, it was obvious that he would object if I said I would leave the mansion recklessly.

Even if I meet the emperor, it would be difficult to obtain independent status or funds if Mother intervened in the middle. I’m the one who’s going to take responsibility for everything.…. When I decided to leave Leopold, I couldn’t carry the name Lawrence like a tag.

I shook my throbbing head and pulled the rope. I needed a cup of tea to calm my mind and body.

It wasn’t long before Emily, always tidy, appeared.

“You called, madam.”

“Yes, can you bring me a cup of tea?”

“Do you need a newspaper?”

“Oh, please join me.”

I immediately replied, admiring her attentiveness. Looking back, at this time, I used to read all the newspapers to get the information needed for research.

“Yes, I’ll be right back.”

At the same time as she answered, she quickly left.

Emily, who seemed ten years older than me, was quite blunt. At first, I thought she hated me, so I was awkward, but over time, I solved my misunderstanding of her consistent attitude.

After graduating from the academy and staying as a guest, she was almost the only person in this mansion to take care of me every day. Although she had to go back to her hometown later because of her sick sibling.

If it wasn’t for her brother, she would probably have listened to me until the end.

A few minutes later Emily returned with a tea set with the newspaper.

“If you need anything, call me again, madam.”

An idea crossed my mind for a moment. I called her up in a hurry.

“Emily, wait a minute. What’s your family like?”

Emily tilted her head slightly and answered slowly, perhaps because it was the first time I asked about her personal information.

“My parents died when I was young, so I don’t have one, and I have a younger sister.”

“Where are you from?”

“It’s the southwestern province of Deagnon.”

Deagnon was a desolate desert area, so it didn’t  belong to any other family. It exists in the empire, but it is a dead land, so I never thought that people would live there.

“Isn’t that a desert?”

She explained calmly to me with surprised eyes.

“There is a desert near the border, but before the desert begins, the Whittiya Mountains are long. There are quite a few villages underneath.”

“Does your sister keep living there alone?”

“Yes. It’s hard for her to move far because of her poor health.”

“I see. Thank you for your answer.”

Emily shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal and stepped back.

Having obtained all the information I wanted, I slowly began to drink tea and rummage through the newspaper.

Deagnon seemed to be a good option. In addition, it was on the opposite side of the Lawrence Estate in the northeast, so it was a place to have peace of mind.

The question is when and how to sneak there…….

“Pojeta, which has not been incorporated into the territory, was attacked by pirates.”

An article about a small town attacked by pirates on the west coast caught my eye.