Chapter 36

"Your Highness! What are you doing! Hurry up and grab him!"

About four knights grabbed Fernan, who had lost his reason, and pulled him over from the edge of the cliff.

Even then, he was unruly, so it was only when several more people pulled him that they were finally able to bring him to a safe zone.

"…Let me go! Ah!”

As Fernan, who had thrown the knights violently, tried to jump off the cliff again, the knights shouted as they blocked him with their whole bodies.

"Your Highness, please calm down!"

Fernan, who was caught by the knights, stared down the cliff with a mad gaze.

Water current, roughened by the winter wind, in a dark river with no visible bottom.

There was no sign of Julia anywhere.

It was difficult for anyone to survive a crash from such a height. Even if they had barely survived, they would not be able to swim in this strong current, and there was a high probability that they would die of hypothermia after a while.

But Fernan was in no condition to make such a calm decision.

Unable to control his soaring emotions, he hurried past the knights and mounted his horse.

The knights rushed after him, who was riding without hesitation.

"…Julia, please."

From the moment Julia pointed the knife at her neck, Fernan could not keep his composure.

He had to stop her. He was too scared to make a decision.

He didn't think for a minute that she would throw herself off the cliff.

No, he was scared. He saw the blood flowing from her neck, and he was afraid that if he got too close, she would pierce that thin neck…

So he stopped. He thought it'd be okay if he didn't get closer. She would stop then…

But Julia defied his expectations and threw herself down without hesitation.

The figure was painted before his eyes one after the other like afterimages.

Fernan stared ahead like someone who had lost half of his mind. His lips began to tremble. He lost all sense of reality. He couldn't turn his head as if it was frozen in place.

It all seemed like a dream. The sight of Julia falling in front of him, and the faint smile on her face at the end.

*

From then on, the search continued, day and night.

They searched all over the forests and towns leading downstream from the river, and even in the nearby areas. However, Julia was nowhere to be found.

The severe cold weather continued, and even a blizzard began to blow over the territory.

Julia would freeze painfully even if she was in it for only a short while in that river.

And so half a month, a long time, passed.

At that time, a robe presumably belonging to Julia was found on land.

***

Fernan looked down at the damp robe for a long time. There was no light in his eyes.

He stood tall as if he was left alone in a world far away.

"Your Highness, we will search the remaining areas. So please take a break even if it's just a little bit….”

Fernan did not respond to the repeated requests of the knights.

He had a look on his face that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

The hem of Julia's robe as he looked at it was torn in places and was in a bad condition. Perhaps Julia’s condition was even more terrible, but no one could bring it up.

"Your highness, if you're going to continue your search, you have to take care of yourself first. Don't you know?"

Eventually, Lloyd, Fernan’s aide, approached and spoke as calmly as he could.

Everyone was tired from the day and night of continuous searching, but Fernan’s condition was the most serious of all.

He had been searching for Julia for half a month without taking any rest.

Fernan took off his steps without answering. Lloyd sighed as he watched him return to where the horse was tied.

Lloyd was also concerned about this situation.

Because it was Lloyd who had realized the most that his lord's feelings for Julia had changed.

Fernan who had never once been shaken by anything, so the small changes were much more visible.

The fact that he had taken his wife into his heart one step later was clear to Lloyd. Despite the fact that she was the daughter of the Marquis of Elody, whom he despised so much.

It was probably Fernan’s first surge of emotion.

He had lost her before he was even aware of those confused emotions, so it wasn't as if he couldn't understand how his lord felt. But…

Lloyd sighed deeply in melancholy.

The look of Fernan’s back was firm and unshakable. However, in Lloyd's eyes, it only looked dangerous.

***

A month had passed, and there was no trace of Julia anywhere.

They searched the entire territory. It was time to find at least a body.

However, Julia disappeared without leaving any trace, as if she had evaporated on the spot.

Fernan, who had been searching like a madman for almost a month without a pause, was in a critical condition just by looking at him.

The knights continued to worry, but he didn't budge an inch.

"Master Lloyd, do we have to force His Highness to come with us?"

As if he had completely blocked out the assumption that Julia was dead, Fernan roamed the whole area like a madman. A knight approached Lloyd and asked. Lloyd, who was agonizing over it, shook his head.

"Let's wait and see first. His Highness is also a human being, so he will not be able to overcome the fatigue of his body at this point." 

But even as he said this, days passed and Fernan’s persistence was as firm as ever. Lloyd let out a heavy sigh that made the ground cave in as he watched Fernan ride his horse in a dangerous manner. Lloyd eventually called out to Fernan, who had gotten off his horse and was checking the search area.

"Your Highness."

Lloyd spoke stoutly to Fernan, who did not even turn around.

"It's been a month since we searched for Her Highness. We have searched all the forests around the city walls and even the nearby villages.”

"…"

"We must now prepare to accept. The Grand Duchess’ chances of survival are.. …."

"Unless you want to die in silence…"

Then, Fernan, who had finally turned his head, pulled out his sword.

Lloyd squeezed his eyes shut when he saw the sword pointed at his neck, but he didn't stop speaking. 

"The knights are exhausted. If we are going to continue the search, please give them enough rest first."

In any case, the knights were taking turns in the search, so it wasn't actually too much for them.

But the problem was Fernan’s condition.

So to make him rest, Lloyd had to mention the knights because it was useless to convince him at this moment.

Fernan was silent with dark eyes and soon opened his mouth.

"Take everyone back with you. I'll do the search alone.”

"‘What? No, Your Highness!"

Fernan, having put away his sword, stepped forward again. Lloyd, looking dazed, put his hand to his forehead and quickly followed.

Fernan looked fine at first glance, but Lloyd's eyes could clearly see that he was walking dangerously differently than before.

It was at that moment that Lloyd, who was following him, stopped in an instant.

Fernan, who was moving forward without hesitation, suddenly stumbled.

"Your Highness!"

While the startled Lloyd was running quickly, Fernan’s body collapsed.

It was less than half a day later when Fernan woke up.

He woke up slowly and looked around in a daze.

His blurry gaze stared at the ceiling and then quickly went to the small fragrant incense that was placed beside him. It was an incense used to induce sleep.

As he raised his body at once, he realized that this was his bedroom.

"Your Highness, are you awake?”

The attending physician, Lockman, approached and examined Fernan’s complexion. Even in the midst of being drowsy on sleeping incense and dazed, Fernan muttered calmly.

“Why am I here?”

"…Your Highness was exhausted during the search. You haven’t been eating properly for a long time, and lack sleep, so you’re not feeling well.”

"Julia…."

Fernan recited Julia's name in a half-crazed manner. Lockman, who was looking at him in a complicated way, opened his mouth calmly.

"Your Highness, you must first get some rest. Leave the rest of the search to the knights, even if it's only for a few days……"

Ignoring Lockman's words, Fernan got out of the bed and staggered across the room.

Lockman couldn't stop him, and all he could do was sigh.

It was amazing that he could walk so normally when he was drowsy on medicinal sleeping incense. Perhaps it was only his obsession to find his wife that made him endure.

Despite Lockman’s concerns, Fernan entered the hallway.

Bennett, the butler, and the servants bowed their heads as he descended the stairs without wavering and entered the lobby.

He did not look at anyone, and opened the door without hesitation.