Chapter 59

Shwaaaa-

From late afternoon, it rained a drop or two, and eventually, it became heavy rain.

I looked out the window at the sound of rain knocking loudly on the window when I was looking for data in the library.

The librarian, who was organizing the books, also looked at the rain and spoke to me.

“It’s raining a lot. It doesn’t look like a passing shower. Did you bring an umbrella, Ms. aide?”

“No.”

“Oh my.”

The librarian felt sorry and added, 

“I have an extra umbrella. Would you like to borrow it?”

“Thank you for your kindness, but I don’t think I need it because I ride a carriage.”

“Is that so?”

The librarian left a message to ask him whenever necessary, and then pulled a cart of books and disappeared inside.

Even after he disappeared, I kept looking out the window. The sky was full of dark clouds.

Looking at the sky, it looks like there will be thunder and lightning.

…do I have sleeping pills at home?

As far as I remembered, I didn’t have it. 

Since I came to the capital, I had no reason to need sleeping pills, so I didn’t think of buying it in advance.

Then what should I do? It’ll be late to stop by the drugstore when I get off work.

I was thinking about what to do and then asked Baron Delrond, whom I met by chance.

“There is no such thing as sleeping pills here.”

“Really?”

Then what should I do? It’s a little shameless, but should I leave work early and go to the drugstore?

“Why are you asking for sleeping pills all of a sudden? Do you have insomnia?”

“It’s similar.”

“Oh my.”

Baron Delrond clicked his tongue as if he felt very sorry.

“I don’t know what caused your insomnia, but it is not good to rely too much on drugs. You might develop a tolerance to the drug, and you might not be able to take it when you absolutely need it.”

“Thank you for the advice.”

I’m really thankful, but… ‘That time’ is a necessary moment for me.

A night when I can’t sleep without the drug.

A night when everything is eaten up in the dark darkness.

The thought of spending that night without sleeping pills made my eyes wide open already.

*****

Philen visited the Duke of Giltian after being invited to dinner.

“Welcome, Duke Williot.”

Duke Giltian went to the hall and greeted Philen personally. The butler was handed Philen’s rain-soaked coat.

Although they’re both Duke, Duke Giltian was like Philen’s father.

“Thank you for the invitation.”

Philen took Duke Giltian’s outstretched hand with moderate courtesy.

Duke Giltian smiled broadly and introduced his family.

“This is my wife, and this is my sons and my daughters-in-law, and next to them are my grandchildren.”

“It’s nice to see you like this, Duke Williot.”

After one introduction, they immediately moved to the dining room.

As a duke, the dining room was large and grand. 

Sculptures seen everywhere showed Duke Giltian’s interest.

Duke Giltian sat at the higher seat, and Philen sat to his left.

The Duke’s sons sat next to Philen, and the Duchess, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren sat straight to Duke Giltian’s right.

The meal was held in a quiet and calm atmosphere.

“That time, so…”

“Is that so?” 

Duke Giltian’s family hardly spoke, and only Duke Giltian and Philen were the ones who spoke.

Perhaps it was boring, Duke Giltian’s little grandson twisted his body.

As a result, the spoon fell to the floor, making a loud clanging sound in the dining room. 

In an instant, the atmosphere subsided. All eyes were focused on the little grandson.

The little grandson trembled with great fear. His face looked like he was about to cry.

Lily, the child’s mother and the second daughter-in-law of Duke Giltian, also turned white.

“I, I apologize.” 

Lily hurriedly bowed her head toward Duke Giltian and Philen and apologized.

“There’s a guest, and he’s being rude… Tian.  You, too, hurry up and apologize.”

“S, sorry, hiccup.”

The frightened child hiccuped and finally shed a drop of tears.

Philen didn’t do anything, but he didn’t feel very good because he seemed like a villain who tormented the child.

“It’s fine.”

Philen said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. 

“He’s still a child, and he can make mistakes. You don’t need to apologize like that.”

Lily’s white face never returned to normal even after Philen’s words.

The child also was not free from fear. 

They kept looking at Duke Giltian’s mood.

It was the same for other people.

Philen was the only one who didn’t look at Duke Giltian’s mood.

Duke Giltian must be strict.

If they look at him like that, he must be pretty strict.

How strict is he that everyone looks at him like that? 

Looking at the child out of curiosity, Philen found a bruise on the back of the child’s neck.

It was a mark of being hit hard by something.

Don’t tell me… did Duke Giltian hit him?

It seemed to be because of the child’s reaction, but he didn’t intend to go ahead and talk about it.

Because it was someone else’s family affair. It had nothing to do with him.

“My my, Duke Williot is generous.”

Duke Giltian laughed cheerfully and forcibly evoked the subdued atmosphere. 

Other people forced a smile and agreed with Duke Giltian.

“Thank you for being generous with my grandson’s mistake.”

“No.”

While Duke Giltian and Philen were talking, Lily quietly disappeared with her child.

“Come to think of it, Duke Williot.”

After taking a sip of wine, Duke Giltian said as if he suddenly remembered it.

“Rumor has it that the Duke and Lady Thebesa have broken up, is that true?”

“It’s a false rumor.”

When Philen firmly dismissed it, Duke Giltian nodded as if he had finally understood.

“Then the rumor about Lady Leila Thebesa being the Emperor’s mistress must be false.”

“…!”

Philen’s eyes widened when he heard that for the first time in his life. 

*****

Even that day, Kalian was returning from a meeting at the outer palace until late.

It rained so hard that even using an umbrella was useless. To make matters worse, thunder and lightning struck.

Because of that, Kalian, who was returning to the palace slower than usual, frowned when he saw the light was on again on the aide’s office’s window.

Again, the culprit was Leila.

It’s only been a day since she said that she wouldn’t do that again. He couldn’t believe she’s already breaking her words.

She needs to be scolded for her to come to her senses.

If she didn’t listen to what I said with good words, I have no choice but to give her a scolding.

Thinking that she should be severely scolded, Kalian headed to the aide’s office.

Kalian, as usual, left the attendants outside and went inside alone.

But Leila was nowhere to be seen. Her desk was empty.

Did she forget to turn off the lights and go home?

I don’t think so, given her desk isn’t organized.

Did she go to the bathroom?

It was when he turned around because he thought he should look for her.

Rumbling, BANG-!

“Hig…!”

He heard someone moaning along with the roar of thunder.

Buried in the thunder, it couldn’t be heard well, but Kalian, who caught it sharply, turned his head again.

“Leila?”

Soon, he found Leila trembling as she crouched under the desk with her ears covered.   

Kalian knelt down on one knee and sat in front of Leila.

Only then did Leila realize that Kalian was there and looked at him. 

Her eyes were drenched in tears, her focus blurred.

Her pale blue lips trembled.

“Your… Majesty?”

Fortunately, she didn’t seem to have completely lost her mind.

“Why are you…”  

Rumbling, BANG-

Kalian’s voice was buried in the roar of thunder.

“…!”

Her blurry focus had completely disappeared. Tears were dripping down from her eyes in fear.

Leila covered her ears harder and buried her face between her knees. Her body trembled like an aspen.

Is she afraid of the sound of thunder?

It’s just a little loud, but why is she so scared like a child? 

It’s ridiculous, but I have to calm Leila down for now.

“Leila.”

Kalian grabbed Leila’s shoulder and shook it.

“Leila, look at me.”

“…ugh.”

“Leila.”

Although he called her several times, Leila hardly came to her senses.

She was covering her ears so hard that her nails ripped her skin and bled.

Her condition is worse than I thought. 

Kalian’s eyes contorted.

It seems that there’s no way to wake her up in a simple way.

Kalian forcibly removed Leila’s hands, which were tearing her ears, unaware that she hurt herself.

BANG!

The thunder struck again in bad timing.

Her eyes that lost focus were greatly shaken.

“N, no! No!”

I have to cover my ears. I have to stop the thunder sound.

“Let me go, let me go! I said let me go…!”

Leila screamed and struggled to get out of Kalian’s hands.

Broken nails scratched Kalian’s cheeks and other places.

However, Kalian didn’t frown at all. He didn’t even push Leila away or yell at her.

Rather, he hugged her tightly. Leila’s tear-soaked face rested on his shoulder.

“My beloved daughter. I’m so glad I met you, Leila.”

Duchess Williot’s sweet voice was heard in Leila’s ears.

“Leila, I’ll be right back.”

God doesn’t care about me, right? 

“My Lady!  The master and the madam are…!”

I’m just happy now. Why are you pushing me back into misery?

Does God hate me?

If that’s the case, you’d better kill me.

Why are you taking the people I love?

I said… you’d better kill me instead!

“My parents are dead.”

No, Philen. They are alive in my heart.

“How long will you cling on to the dead and never forget them?”

It’s the same for you. 

“Why are you afraid of thunder like a fool?”

I know that too. I know I’m such a fool… But what could I do if I’m still scared of it? 

“I’m not a child, so don’t bother me with that.”

Philen, I…

“Pack up and leave the mansion right away, Lady Thebesa.”

The darkness has come. 

I’m alone again.

I thought I had finally entered a family fence, but it’s all an illusion.

“I’m… alone.”