Chapter 76 - Soup Pot

"Well... I don't know about RIVAL, we basically just met. Uh, anyway, Hi Nat, this here's my sidekick, Jackknife, and... Well, my dog, Willy." As Lucas tries to widen the interpersonal relationship gap between himself and Miss Masher, she snorts, crosses her arms, begins to sneer, and gives a condescending chuckle.

"Well then, I guess if you want to just admit that you're not as strong as me, then I guess it wouldn't be fair to call you a rival, after all." Making a verbal below-the-belt jab, Miss Masher deals a critical hit to Lucas's alarmingly fragile ego, getting the exact kind of reaction she wanted.

"I WILL KICK YOUR ASS IN AN ARM-WRESTLING CONTEST RIGHT HERE AND NOW! LET'S FUCKING GO!" When Lucas immediately pounces on the very obvious bait, Jonathan facepalms with an audible smack, and Natalie bursts out into delighted laughter.

Perhaps a bit too delighted, she's probably already planning an enemies-to-lovers fan-fic featuring the two of them in her mind.

"18! Go find them a table or something they can use to arm wrestle on! OMG! I'll reff!" Further demonstrating her joy by excitedly clapping her hands a few times, Natalie instructs the service bot that is idling in the enclosed service counter next to her to go and offer a furniture sacrifice, or rather, support.

With a few whirs and creaks, the service bot manages to work its way upright, slowly lumbering out of an employee-only door in pursuit of a worthy offering.

[...I can't believe how quick you were to completely cave and do what she so obviously wanted. It's a good thing she hasn't seen just how tsundere you can be with Jonathan, or she'd think it's time to go get sized for a ring.]

'Don't! Joke! Like! That!'

[You make it so easy though.]

'Gah!'

Matching Miss Masher's stance, Lucas crosses his arms and stands facing her, using his half-foot height advantage to its fullest as he tilts his chin up, trying his absolute hardest to express his disdain.

She, on the other hand, has broken out into a huge grin, though she has otherwise kept the stance, being rather amused by the stand-off.

Jonathan shakes his head a few times, sighs, then crouches down to pay attention to Willy as he tries his hardest to ignore the two powerful idiots.

Natalie is amused by simply watching the two of them glare at each other for a little while, but knowing it could take the service bot several minutes to return with something suitable, she decides to break the silence.

"Oh! I don't know when the last time you saw Sarah was, I'll be heading over to Floralanche later since she said she has a new strain she wants me to test for her. Between the fact she actually used the word 'dank' when talking about it and that when I tried the original it is bred from I swore at the time that I tasted the number purple for about ten seconds, it's bound to be something good. If you're not busy you should swing by! We're probably gonna grab pizza, I've been getting really hungry lately after my power burns through a lot, or maybe it's just that her grass has just been getting that potent. Oh, you guys should come too! Uh, though since you're also a strength type, if you want a hit or two you'd need suppression cuffs, dunno if you'd be willing to wear 'em around people you just met though." As Natalie fills the lull in conversation, Lucas stops struggling to maintain his posturing and turns to look at her instead.

'Yooo... Wait, suppression cuffs?'

[Hmm? What about them? ...Right, you don't know what they are, who am I kidding? A device that is worn on one wrist, so really more of a bracelet than a cuff, that dampens most physical enhancements down to merely being a bit more potent than a normal person. I doubt you need me to explain why most people would be hesitant to wear one around strangers.]

'...And why didn't you tell me about them sooner?'

[While maybe Jonathan could slap one on someone before they could do much about it, that doesn't do you much good. And if you mean so you could wear them yourself at will, you really need practice controlling your powers. By the time you don't need to practice anymore, you wouldn't need them anyway, so not much point in getting them for yourself.]

'WHAT ABOUT MY RANT ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!?'

[...You need to work on being less of a reckless brute first, regardless.]

'You could have at least said something! Dude! I was so fucking depressed about it!'

[...I noticed.]

'Asshole! You were having fun watching me suffer, weren't you!?'

[Guilty as charged.]

'Goddamnit! Ugh... Oh yeah, so who's Sarah anyway?'

[You can be alarmingly scatter-brained at times. Anyway, you'd have heard any previous references to her as "Nightshade", the boss of Floralanche. As you might have guessed, she uses her plant growth powers for some... Recreational purposes as well.]

'...I kinda want to try supe-pot, that's gotta be... Damn.'

[...Don't you dare. At least, not around anyone that can't hear about the Superhero Enhancement System, nor with your phone accessible at the time.

'Yeah, yeah. I know. Hehe, soup pot.'

427 can only sigh at the trash-tier wordplay, he would absolutely be shaking his head if only he were physically capable.

"While I gotta admit I'm kinda curious... Yeah, no, gonna have to say no thanks. Besides, I'm probably gonna be pretty busy anyway." While Lucas regretfully turns down a quality evening in the company of free pizza, Miss Masher straightens up her posture a bit, once again.

"You mean WE are gonna be pretty busy. Apparently, someone has a ton of junk just asking to get pummeled, and we're gonna go see who can smash more whenever we finally get there. Oh yeah, that's part of why we're here, where'd that paper go?" As Miss Masher gloats about the planned romantic date that she one-sidedly decided on, she suddenly remembers why they're even here in the first place.

Jonathan clears his throat and timidly approaches the clear barrier separating them from Natalie, holding up the paper with the printed QR code on it.

"Oooh, Calc did all the busy work for me? Sweet! Here, one sec." As Natalie expresses her satisfaction with having all of the effort taken out of the pending job, she taps a button near the transparent wall and a small slit opens up, large enough for a packet of documents to slide through.

Hardly needing any further instruction, Jonathan hands the paper over through the opening and then takes half of a step back as he stammers out a "Here-here you go."

Claiming the QR code, she taps the button again to close the opening and sets about scanning it with a tablet computer, which she took an almost embarrassingly long time to find, considering it was just sitting about two feet to her left the whole time.

"Oh, so a fresh chip for the pupper, and a name change for..? I assume Jackknife?" As she reads over the documentation that just popped up on her tablet, she looks at Jonathan with a questioningly raised brow.

Although he has a happy smile spread across his face, all he manages to do in answer is nodding at her twice.

'How does he always manage to be so awkward?'

[...At least you had the decency not to bully him out loud.]

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Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 8.96 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2.5* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 5

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.96

Jonathan's fame level: 1.75* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Supervillain social circle size: 10

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, shyly looking away: Ye-yeah, for me...

Willy, lying down and mercilessly gnawing on micro Mark: Grr!

Lucas, finally noticing that Jonathan is actually being extra-awkward: Oh! Dude! She's like a decade older than you! ...It's her massive tits, isn't it?

427, snorting and then chuckling briefly: [I'm surprised it took you this long to mention them. Don't think I didn't notice that you looked at them before her face.]

Author, chuckling with their arms crossed: As much as I've purposely avoided cringe-ily describing every chick's chest, her melons merit honorable mention.

Mr. Quacks, disinterested in the conversation about human female secondary reproductive characteristics: Quack....