Chapter 111 - Beep Boop Burn

The assembly of dorks eventually, finally, make it to Miss Calculated's intended destination. Jonathan had spent the majority of the trip there continuing to try to hide his face, with rather limited success.

When they were close, but not quite there yet, Miss Chievous had serenaded the group with an impromptu song. She went on in great detail about her love for lobster tails, as well as the fate held in store for all of the lobster tails that were to soon be brought before her.

Miss Calculated and Miss Masher were both completely unphased by her performance, but Lucas felt similarly inspired by it. Here's hoping the restaurant has a full lobster tank, because they're going to be absolutely decimating it.

Jonathan's groans were rather indicative of his lack of appreciation for her musical talents, and sounded quite similar to those that were going on in Lucas's mind courtesy of 427.

At least her song had far more varied lyrics than Lucas's previous 'fancy ham' number. 427 may consider turning to religion in order to pray that song is to be never repeated.

Anyway, now that they are gathered in front of a chain restaurant steakhouse, Lucas has finally lowered Jonathan down to the ground to stand on his own.

Without waiting for the two of them to finish adjusting their suit jackets, Miss Masher steps ahead to hold open the door for everyone. The smug look she sends Lucas's way fairly clearly expresses 'Haha, I got to it before you!'

Miss Calculated sighs and shakes her head, going through first.

Following after her, Miss Chievous snickers a bit, stealing a glance at Lucas to see if he reacted to the provocation at all. Which he did, his face basically reads 'What the fuck is wrong with you?'

However, this only serves to make Miss Chievous and Miss Masher snort out a few chuckles of laughter.

Jonathan motions for Willy to go through before him, and once he does so he follows through behind him.

Going through second to last, Lucas makes a point of shooting Miss Masher another odd look as he does so. Thanks to this, she has a full-blown laughing fit, doubling over in the doorway and blocking it longer than necessary while the rest of the group filters into the waiting area.

'...Weirdo.'

[...Who's weirder, the one setting the bait, or the one that keeps taking it every single time?]

'Hey! Come on!'

[It's a good thing that Miss Chievous seems to be enjoying focusing her attention on antagonizing poor Jonathan instead, I'm not sure your ego could handle both of them harassing you.]

'Tch, no need to be so rude.'

[Even if it's accurate? It only hurts because I'm right.]

'Forget you, jerk.'

Mentally dismissing the now laughing 427, Lucas has entered the main waiting area for the restaurant. Miss Masher is still busy with her mirth in the initial doorway, out of the line of sight of the waiting service bot serving as the maître d'.

It had been pointedly looking down at the admittedly well-behaved Willy, then scanning over the group before settling its attention on Lucas.

"Good afternoon, honored guests. I presume you wish for a table for five, though I must regrettably point out that it is standard regulation that all pets are to be leashed at all times within a restaurant's premises." As the bot politely points out protocol, Willy's tail sinks down and Miss Calculated's eyes narrow.

Similarly, Miss Chievous's pleased grin in anticipation of doomed crustaceans stiffens, even falling into a faint frown.

Jonathan locks up entirely, his eyes first darting to the service bot, then looking down sympathetically at Willy. How dare anyone talk about his little brother like that!?

Thinking back to the cone of shame incident, Lucas suppresses a laugh and walks over closer to the bot, resting his elbow on its shoulder as he leans over toward where its ear would be, if it had one.

"Hey, I know yer just doin' yer job an' all. So, how about ya tell me, how much we gotta break before my good buddy William here don't gotta worry about a silly leash? I'll even let ya pick out what gets broken. There an appliance somewhere ya wanna get upgraded?" While Lucas is lowering his voice in a conspiratorial tone, with a dangerous grin across his face, Miss Masher has finally entered the waiting room proper.

The bot's attention very clearly shifts over to her well-defined, massive biceps, then seems to take a few moments to run some calculations. After a few moments, it turns its attention back to Lucas before finally responding.

"Esteemed guest, the fact that you asked so politely will be sufficient. I was merely stating protocol, I hope no offense was given. ...Do you require a sixth seat for Sir William as well?" Opting to avoid violence, the service bot smoothly accepts Willy's presence as another customer.

Faster than Lucas manages to start getting his "Of course, none taken. Yes please, thank you." out, Willy immediately barked his approval. Not that the bot understood him, although it at least understood Lucas loud and clear.

Willy's tail shot right back up again, happily wagging thanks to how pleased he is with this new form of address. Although, it's mainly due to the approval of him remaining a nudist.

[Ouch, couldn't even intimidate a service bot on your own.]

'...Dude.'

[It's certainly funny how her best slight against you yet was completely accidental, and she isn't even aware of it either.]

'...Yeah, okay, I gotta admit, it kinda is funny. But, only a little.'

While the corner of Lucas's mouth twitches, the three humans in attendance besides Lucas and Miss Masher all suppress varying degrees of laughter. It's an easy guess for everyone involved that the bot assumed Miss Masher would have been the one responsible for any and all destruction, and that Lucas was purely an accessory.

If Miss Masher was aware of the exchange that led to these reactions, she certainly would have been the one laughing hardest of all, most likely accompanied by some exaggerated flexing.

-----

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 12.17

Lucas's fame level: 4.25* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are fairly high.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals)

Jonathan total kills: 6

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 3.78

Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (A few paranoid individuals are suspicious)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)

Supervillain social circle size: 11

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, sighing: Phew, I thought we were gonna have to start a fight.

Willy, his happily wagging tail nearly a blur: Bark!

Lucas, trying to cover up his wounded pride: Well, if it came down to it, I could have totally surprised them by how much I destroyed. Would have made my point clear, yeah? Woulda made it seem like I was extra mad!

427 is just laughing even harder thanks to Lucas's stubborn attempts at hiding how hurt he was by the bot disregarding his destructive capabilities.

Author, quietly filling the lobster tank in the background: The least I can do is let him enjoy his meal after that casual robo-burn.

Mr. Quacks, wearing the lobster bib once again while floating in the lobster tank, trying to decide which ones he wants to eat: Quack...?