Chapter 129 - Buy A Bot

Once they're back in Lorelei's office, Lucas directly heads over to reclaim the same seat he used last time. Although, he does wait to sit down until Miss Calculated is seated first, on the same chair Miss Chievous had used previously.

'Ha, so this is basically what it would have been like if Chi wasn't invisible before. Wait, no, Maria. Maria-chi. Hahah mariachi, she needs a giant hat and a guitar!'

[...Foolish of me to think that you'd already be finished with being amused by the fact they're identical twins within a mere few hours. Also, if you dare give her a musical instrument, I'm pretty sure Miss Calculated would kill you.]

'Oh come on, Chi obviously intentionally copies her sister just so she can horse around, why else would she have the exact same haircut and wear a set of Calc's work clothes? I'm almost surprised she doesn't have a matching pair of cosmetic glasses.'

[So you're indirectly admitting you'll always be amused by it, got it.]

'As long as Chi goofs around, duh. Wait, but really, she's pretty dedicated to the bit. Chi ate like… Three times as much food as Calc at lunch, I guess she exercises to stay the same weight?'

[Actually, she's 8.32 lbs heavier than Miss Calculated. Ahem, a decent part of it is muscle mass, though. Presumably, she's had Miss Masher help her exercise, though it's hardly a challenge to be more physically active than Miss Calculated.]

'Hah, yeah, I bet that nerd accidentally skips meals sometimes, forget moving around any more than necessary.'

A certain nerd that was similarly barely active and inadvertently skipped meals doesn't deign to respond to Lucas's last thought.

Lucas's attention is pulled back to reality as Lorelei slides a small stack of paperwork across the desk towards him, wearing a brilliant smile as she does so.

'Damnit, I swear, this better be the last time I need to do any kind of paperwork for a long time!'

Miss Calculated notices Lucas's obvious flinch and brief hesitation before reaching forward to claim the latest clipboard of legalese. After feigning a cough to hide her poorly suppressed chuckle, she clears her throat and turns to look directly at him.

"I've already given them a once-over, it's a fairly straightforward standard transfer for the title of ownership for unit #23, model WE8663, effective upon receipt of a one-time payment for 149,999$..." As Miss Calculated is narrating the specifics, Lucas sighs with obvious relief and starts rapidly flipping through the pages to look for where he needs to sign.

'It's all good, right!? Where's the signature line!? How many times!?'

[...Goodness. Yes, everything is in order, you'll need to sign three times, ah, you found the first one.]

As Lucas signs in a frantic flurry, Lorelei's smile stiffens and her eyebrows draw together with mild concern regarding his sanity.

Miss Calculated, however, just breaks out laughing.

Once Lucas finishes his third scribble of a signature he at least goes through the motions of flipping through to the last page, pretending he was still looking for more.

Lucas smacks the papers back down onto the desk with a loud bang, having held back his strength by the absolute barest minimum to avoid causing any damage.

Lorelei involuntarily jumps from the sudden sound spook, but composes herself fairly quickly to reclaim the papers, preparing for her own signatures.

Miss Calculated's line of sight dutifully follows the paperwork sliding across the desk towards Lorelei, still taking her work seriously despite being off the clock.

"Lucas, I suppose I should take that to mean you trust me, hmm? I'm sure you're sick of all the documentation you've had to handle today, but that alone certainly wouldn't be sufficient to not even gloss over the terms. Knowing Chi, she should be most of the way sober by now, so I assume you are as well, hence the alcohol isn't to blame for such recklessness on your part." Now that she's recovered from her bout of laughter, Miss Calculated questions Lucas in an amicable tone as she continues to watch the paperwork.

'Shit, first Mikah, now Calc! Aaah!'

[To be fair, you were already acting based on her words alone before I even had a chance to confirm she was correct, so you DO have some degree of trust regarding her. Also, you could bring up the misunderstanding earlier, and therefore the fact you wouldn't think she might have been bribed into tricking you. Why else would she lie about this, of all things?]

'Oh, yeah, exactly!'

"If I can't trust YOU over paperwork, then I definitely can't trust anyone else. It would be silly for me to think Lorelei might have tried to bribe you into helping trick me after that little misunderstanding earlier, and I don't see any other reason why you would bother pullin' one over on me. Doubly so after the presumably better chances you had earlier." Apart from the delay from his quick little interaction with 427, Lucas responds in a reasonably timely manner.

Even still, between that slight pause and the way he overexplained himself, Miss Calculated picks up on his nervousness, which doesn't necessarily seem to be tsundere in nature. The only external acknowledgment she makes, though, is an amused snort with a small smile.

Lorelei at least relaxes a bit from Lucas's answer. Between the random snippets from the streams she caught earlier while she was bored, she's already seen that the Brotherhood has been publicly gallivanting with the Sisterhood, so of course, it isn't too strange that he'd trust her.

Once she has finished with her share of signatures, Lorelei slides the documentation over to Miss Calculated. She proceeds to neatly sign in the margins as well as write down the date, then takes out her phone.

"Once payment has been finalized, I can upload it right to the MCAC's database, so you can just file this copy away for yourself. After making Lucas's copy, of course. Ah, my phone is also equipped with a chip scanner, if you'd like for me to serve as an intermediary for the payment." While Miss Calculated is saying this, she is actively typing in a long string of alphanumeric characters. After she's finished, she scans in her thumbprint as well, finalizing unlocking her phone.

'...I guess it makes sense she'd have extra security features on her phone.'

[I'm almost surprised she didn't set it to require scanning her chip as well.]

"Uh, works for me, but I'd say it's up to Lorelei." While Lucas is answering, Lorelei is already nodding her agreement.

"Might as well, I need to pay you as well, after all. I assume you can easily document the transaction history then, to serve as proof of purchase? On all counts?" While Lorelei adds voice to her agreement, Miss Calculated is now the one nodding along. After tapping on her phone a few times, she briefly lifts it over her left shoulder, aiming it at her shoulderblade for a second before bringing it back in front of her and typing a bit more.

'Oh, guess that was for her chip.'

"Of course. Here, if you would confirm that the amount being requested is 149,999$, as per the agreement?" Once Miss Calculated is done asking this, she holds her phone out towards Lorelei, facing such that she can read it without needing to handle the device.

"Ah, yes, it is correct." While Lorelei is voicing her confirmation, Lucas has started pulling up his left sleeve.

"Oh, Lucas, that isn't necessary. It can read through the enhanced material. Heh, well, at least MINE can, I wouldn't trust some random kiosk to be strong enough." After Miss Calculated smugly declares the superiority of her customized phone, Lucas chuckles a few times.

'Neeerd.'

[...It's good to have inventions worth being proud over. And, it certainly is no surprise that her personal tech is better than anything that is mass-produced.]

'NEEERD!'

[...]

Once Lucas has given his own confirmation, he scans his chip for payment. After, he confirmed that the same amount was transferred to Lorelei, and then mutually confirmed the separate 999$ transaction as Miss Calculated's total fees for her contributions.

'Yeesh, I'm sure her time is valuable, but damn.'

[I imagine Lorelei did her best to find as many excuses as possible to offer premium rates.]

'No kiddin'...'

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Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 12.44 (+.01 +.01 = +.02 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 4.50* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are extremely high.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals, people are realizing he's an impulsive idiot)

Jonathan total kills: 6

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 4.02 (+.01 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (A few paranoid individuals are suspicious)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)

Supervillain social circle size: 11

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Little character theater:

Jonathan is busy drinking a fresh cookie milkshake that 4 brought over for him and happily listening to Miss Masher's tales. The poor shake is disappearing at an alarming rate, as Miss Chievous stealthily stole an extra straw and is leaning over, drinking at the same time. If Jonathan was aware of this going on, he'd ascend to a new level of embarrassment and probably just let her have the whole thing. At least, what little is left of it. It may be the third glass, but he finally got to drink one whole shake's worth in total.

Willy is fully engaged in storytime, occasionally barking appropriate responses. 4 had stopped to look at him a few times, but so far had not had any direct interactions with Willy.

Lucas, mind wandering once again as they finalize the last few formalities and acquires a fresh new folder with his copies of the documentation: Huh, if I make Jon drop the papers off at home, is he gonna get stuck in quest hell again?

427, making a thoughtful hum before answering: [While Boss System shouldn't work him into the ground again, he'll still probably get a few…]

Author, laughing quietly at the Thieves of Elsewhere idly milling about while they wait to see when Lucas's group is going to head out: You'd think you guys would be less obvious about it.

Mr. Quacks, wishing he had also grabbed a straw to join in on the shake as well: Quack…