Chapter 133 - 23's Personal Log; Day 1 - I Have Determined That Boomerangs Are Their Primary Love Language

After Lucas had spent a bit of time being amused by the thought that all of the discounts he just received were perhaps indirectly thanks to Lakshmi, he finally turns to head outside as well.

'Is Chi already outside, or do I gotta be careful not to bump into her?'

[She's already out there, watching you while tapping a foot impatiently.]

'...Now that makes me wanna take even longer. Bah, but she wouldn't know that that's why I purposely dragged my feet, oh well. ...Who am I kidding? I'm too curious about what she has for me, anyway.'

23 follows a few steps behind Lucas, but ends up stopping briefly before taking the final step through the outer doors. Its attention is down on the ground as it slowly passes through the double doors. Only once it is entirely out on the sidewalk does it finally turn its gaze upward, and then begin slowly taking in the sights and sounds of the immediate area.

Lucas, however, doesn't really notice 23's dramatic exit, nor its reactions to entering the great outdoors for the first time ever since its initial activation. Instead, his focus is on Minimizer, who is grinning while walking towards him from where he was waiting, a short distance down the sidewalk.

Rewind and Freeze Frame are still waiting at a polite distance away, smiling as well, and even waving briefly.

"Hey, Xenoclast! Ah, I'm not sure if you know who I am, I'm Minimizer. I know it's a little weird to just walk up to you out of the blue like this, but uh, it was kinda hard not to overhear you guys earlier. I just wanted to say, you guys were hilarious, and uh, I got a present for you. Honestly, I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard, so here you go." While Minimizer is saying this, he reaches into a reinforced pocket that had been visibly sagging from the weight of whatever small object he had stored within it.

He's a bit awkward as he pulls it out with one hand, switching the diminutive-to-the-point-of-not-being-clearly-visible object into a two-handed grip as he holds it out to Lucas.

'Ooh, is there anything I should be worried about?'

[Anything that he would be able to readily carry around with his power active upon it shouldn't pose any sort of threat to you.]

After his brief pause from getting this answer from 427, Lucas smiles and holds both of his open hands out in front of him, palms up.

"Hey Min, 'course I know ya. Only saw a little bit of the movie you and yer brother were in so far, but I'll be sittin' down to watch it in full soon, lookin' forward to it. Hehe, Whatcha got for me?" Lucas doesn't even bother trying to hide his enthusiasm, nor his excitement, as he stares down at Minimizer's hands.

Minimizer's smile broadens a bit, and he releases his hold on the mysterious gift. After a fraction of a second from release, a massive ornamental boomerang six feet in length rapidly springs out from its previous size, which was previously roughly equivalent to that of a stick of lip balm.

While it had been too heavy for Minimizer to comfortably carry with only one hand, it isn't heavy enough to make Lucas so much as flinch when it finishes free-falling into his waiting hands.

'YESSS!!! BEST! PRESENT! EVAR!'

"OMG YES, THANK YOU!" In his radiant jubilations, Lucas holds the comically large boomerang up over his head like it's a new piece of equipment he just looted from a treasure chest.

Noting Lucas's unmistakable joy and enthusiasm, all three of the Thieves of Elsewhere start laughing all over again, every bit as hard as when Miss Chievous set her pepper prank.

Willy gives a muffled celebratory bark, rejoicing alongside his father. (?)

Miss Calculated softly sighs and shakes her head, unable to muster the energy for a stronger response to Lucas's nonsense at this point.

Miss Masher's boisterous laughter rings out from the doorway, having just arrived outside and noticing Lucas's antics right away.

In near-unison with her younger sister, Miss Chievous starts laughing as well from her stealthed location a few steps away from Lucas. After a few moments, she gets her laughter under control enough to speak up with an accusatory tone.

"So THAT'S where that one went!" Miss Chievous manages to sound a bit strict at first, but, before she even finishes speaking, she starts laughing again.

23 is largely externally unresponsive, but its line of sight does follow the boomerang in Lucas's hold, up into the air.

[...Since you love it so much; fair warning, it's pretty flimsy. No matter how careful you are, if you throw it, you'll absolutely destroy it.]

'Must protecc, this is the way.'

[...]

'I'll mix memes if I want to, you can't stop me!'

[...I didn't even say anything?]

'Damn right.'

[...]

While 427 quietly suffers from Lucas's stupidity, Lucas lowers the boomerang from over his head and instead hugs it against his chest, with one of its arms awkwardly sticking up over his right shoulder.

"I'm totally going to put it over the elevator door in our HQ. Thank you so much, hahaha!" After Lucas has repeated his appreciation, Minimizer makes a conscious effort to get his laughter under control.

"Ah, so you really do have your HQ lined up already? Hey, with how viral you've been lately, if you want we could do a security run for you guys, as long as you don't mind us releasing the video of it after the standard one-week delay from when we give you our recommendations report. Oh, right, it's going to be part of-" When Minimizer is about to spoil the location, Lucas, Miss Calculated, and Rewind all shout out nearly simultaneously to stop him, but Rewind is first by a small margin.

Minimizer immediately flinches, turning around to look at his brother.

'Wait, how did Rewind know to stop him too?'

[...He used his power just to stop his brother from spoiling the reveal, I assume.]

'Ha, nice. Sure must be nice to be able to rollback without having to DIE.'

[...I don't make the rules.]

Rewind walks up to the group, putting a hand on his younger brother's shoulder once he's nearby.

"Sorry about that, we didn't know it was supposed to be a surprise. Anyway, here's our card, after you discuss it with… Uh, your HQ partners..? Regardless, let us know if you guys are interested. The publicity will be more than worth it, so let's say your first run will be free, as long as you don't mind us promoting it a bit leading up to the recording release. We'll even let you see the video beforehand, in case there are any parts you really want to have edited out. Within reason, of course." As Rewind finishes making the civil break-in offer, he holds out a professional-quality business card containing the contact info for all three high-ranking members of the Thieves of Elsewhere.

Lucas takes a moment to adjust his hold on the mega boomerang, now cradling it with his left arm as he carries it half-slung over his left shoulder. He accepts the card with his free right hand and glances at it, flipping it over out of curiosity. On the back is their calling-card logo of a domino mask on top of a rolled-up map scroll, the sight of which gives Lucas a half-smile.

"Yeah, I'll see what Mark thinks. Sounds good, thanks a bunch guys." When Lucas absentmindedly name-drops Mark's real name, all three of the Thieves of Elsewhere begin struggling to hold back additional laughter.

"Oh, before you guys go, I guess you can have one too, just wait a sec. Lucas, hold out your hand and stay still." With this instruction, Miss Chievous quietly waits until he complies, which he does after a few moments.

[Ha, here we go.]

Lucas holds out his right hand expectantly. After a slight delay, he feels a hard but fairly lightweight object being set into his hand, but it remains invisible. After Miss Chievous chuckles a few times, she finally releases it, revealing a foot-long boomerang.

"YES! Ooh, ooh, did you grab more!?" When Lucas excitedly asks this, Miss Chievous finally stops using her power, becoming fully visible, and is currently standing about a foot in front of him.

Grinning from ear to ear, she is awkwardly carrying an armload of just over two dozen boomerangs.

'BEST! DAY! EVER!'

[...As long as you're happy.]

The three thieves all start howling with laughter, and Miss Masher throws her arms up in the air while cheering.

Willy gives another enthusiastic, albeit muffled, bark whilst running in a small circle, his tail wagging vigorously the whole time.

Miss Calculated heaves a huge sigh, hanging her head as she rubs her forehead with her right hand a few times.

Lucas raises his normal-sized boomerang up in the air in a similar cheer as Miss Masher, his grin rivaling Miss Chievous's.

23 takes a few steps closer, which makes Miss Chievous a bit wary for a moment, as she's not sure what it's doing.

After stacking the two to-go containers so it can carry them with one four-pronged hand, 23 reaches under its charging pad with its now free arm, pulling out a two-foot-long boomerang.

"Here, you had missed one, Miss Chievous. I did not wish to spoil your surprise." After 23 says this, it carefully extends the arm carrying the boomerang and gently tucks it into her armload of contraband, placing it in such a way that it doesn't disturb her current hold.

Needless to say, there is a great deal of riotous laughter.

-----

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 14.68 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 4.50* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are extremely high.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.25* (-.25*, More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals, even more people are realizing he's an impulsive idiot)

Jonathan total kills: 6

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 4.23

Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (A few paranoid individuals are suspicious)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)

Supervillain social circle size: 14 (+Rewind, Minimizer, Freeze Frame)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan is in the bathroom at home, let's give him some privacy.

Willy is now contemplating letting someone else carry his chew toys, so he can run around with a boomerang instead.

Lucas, tucking the normal boomerang under his belt into a ready-draw position, as if it were a handgun, then reaching over to claim another from Miss Chievous's arms: Dibs on at least five of them!

427, making one long, drawn-out, sigh: [Considering how excited you are, let me remind you; you're almost definitely going to destroy every single one the very first time you throw it, and you probably will kill someone with it in the process.]

Author, laughing hysterically: You big dumb idiot, I can't even!

Mr. Quacks, reared up on his tail and carefully balancing a boomerang on his beak: Quack!