Chapter 135 - Mystery Messenger Not Impressed

Miss Masher, creeping around Miss Chievous’s left side in pursuit of additional yeeting paraphernalia, is blocked by Miss Chievous turning to face Lucas directly, right before she could manage to claim another boomerang.

“Wait, seriously? While it’s out of your HQ network range like that, what if it gets lost, or something?” While Miss Chievous asks Lucas this with a confused expression, he gains an even more confused look than her.

“Wouldn’t a robot be even less likely to get lost than a person? Oh, I guess it doesn’t have built-in GPS, since it was always in the same building. That should be easy to put in though? And I’ll just get ‘em a phone too, not like that’d be all that different from giving commands in person, yeah? Oh, actually, Calc, can you do a built-in phone for 23? That way it doesn’t even need to bother carrying it around. Oh, Maria, you didn’t give a boomerang to Willy yet. Annnddd one for Jon...” After Lucas initially responds to Miss Chievous, he turns his attention over to Miss Calculated briefly to make his request on 23’s behalf, then immediately turns his focus back to the boomerang bouquet in Miss Chievous’s hands.

Being directly asked a question finally thaws Miss Calculated enough for her to shift from staring at Lucas to blinking a few times before answering him.

“Oh, well, yes, that would be easy. Wouldn’t even need a screen or a normal case, and it could be wired directly to its brain, so to speak. Ah, but, to be approved for its own personal financial account, or even just qualifying for an ID chip in the first place… Hmm, just because there is no precedent doesn’t mean I couldn’t whip something up, eheheh, it could be fun to design a new form from scratch…” In the middle of giving her answer, Miss Calculated pauses to chuckle evilly for a few moments, her gaze a bit vacant for a few seconds before she continues speaking.

“The worst part, honestly, would be convincing I4 to take the request seriously. Oh, and OBVIOUSLY Willy needs access to his own account as well... Hmm, so a general-purpose request for ‘sapient individuals’? Mmm, though, even a regular bot could just follow explicit precept 1 instructions to the extent it could be trusted to carry a balance…” Towards the end of Miss Calculated’s answer, she trails off while continuing to murmur to herself.

Throughout all of these interactions, 23 has been staring directly at Lucas, silent the whole time.

“Hey, uh, speaking of getting lost, shouldn’t you check your phone in case that was Jon?” Miss Masher briefly glances at Lucas when asking this question. She has been largely unconcerned with talk of smarty-pants robots, as there are perfectly good destructive toys to hold her attention. Thusly, she renews her attempts to claim additional boomerangs.

‘Eh? Obviously it wasn’t, if there was an issue he’d just have 11… Oh yeah, of course, THEY don’t know that, oops.’

[...You really have gotten far too comfortable with the sisterhood.]

Miss Masher does manage to divert Lucas’s attention briefly, and he clears his throat as he stuffs his two most recently claimed boomerangs under his belt like the others.

“Well, I’m confident he’s fine, but maybe it was Mark asking where we are…” While Lucas says this, he starts to pull out his phone with his right hand, still keeping his left arm occupied with carrying the absurdly large boomerang hooked over his left shoulder.

“Oh, I should grab boomerangs for Natalie and Sarah!” Miss Masher grins as she comes up with her own excuse for additional weaponry, claiming two more accordingly.

Lucas realizes that she was intentionally distracting him, immediately stuffing the phone back in his pocket and grabbing one more boomerang.

“Well, then I should get one for Dan then!” Lucas has a disproportionately smug expression while making this claim, as if he was already somehow equally close friends with Dan, like Miss Masher is with Natalie.

This back and forth continues with Miss Masher then declaring another boomerang for Mikah, followed by Lucas managing to claim the last two undesignated weapons as being for Mark and Josephine.

Once the only boomerang left in Miss Chievous’s possession is the one from 23, she tightly crosses her arms over her chest, guarding the last piece of contraband while she glares at Lucas and Miss Masher, making her stance clear.

Now that Lucas no longer has to compete with Miss Masher to claim a maximized quantity of one-shot weaponized entertainment, he finally actually takes out his phone to check just who it was that texted him.

From Unknown (3:08 PM): WHY WAS IT EASIER TO FIND YOUR PHONE NUMBER THAN YOUR WEBSITE!?

‘...Eh? Shouldn’t there at least be caller ID or somethin’?’

[Considering they found your phone number through some indirect means, I imagine blocking their number from being displayed isn’t much of a challenge.]

‘...Fair.’

Given the curious throat-noise Lucas made when reading the message, he inadvertently caught Miss Chievous’s attention. Just as she’s leaning over to try to steal a glance, his phone makes another default ping as a follow-up text comes in.

From Unknown (3:21 PM): Wait, you seriously don’t have a website for the brotherhood yet!? Did you forget to publish it publicly after founding the organization? WTF!?

‘They’re not going to somehow hack my phone if I text em’ back, yeah?’

[No, that… I don’t think that’s a thing.]

‘I don’t know, this world is weird.’

[...]

To Unknown (3:22 PM): Who are you

To Unknown (3:22 PM): No we didn’t make it yet

If it wasn’t for the fact that Lucas enabled auto-correct, the mysterious messenger would have a whole new reason to be upset. Turns out, enhanced proprioception still doesn’t fix laziness. The ‘we’ was the only word autocorrect didn’t have to adjust in some way.

Miss Chievous has managed to read the received messages, making her own curious sound, but then snorted out a laugh when she sees how haphazardly Lucas typed out his response.

“Eh? What’s up? Oh, hey, Calc, someone managed to block the caller ID on yer new phone already.” Miss Masher has also joined in the gathering around Lucas’s phone, getting annoyed by a rogue boomerang poking her ribcage in the process.

“Hey, hey, careful! Ya gotta be gentle when ya suddenly touch a man’s boomerang like that!” As Lucas jokingly scolds Miss Masher, he reflexively turns away from her, accidentally hitting Miss Chievous with two other boomerangs that are awkwardly sticking out from under his belt in the process.

Both Miss Masher and Miss Chievous openly laugh, and Miss Calculated chokes back her own small snort of laughter.

23 takes a few steps over so it is standing in front of Lucas, finally breaking its silence.

“With everything you have done and have offered to do for me, the least I can do is help carry your unwieldy belongings.” While 23 is making this offer, it coils the end of its unencumbered arm, forming a loop that is slightly larger than would be required to hold all of the normal-sized boomerangs in Lucas’s possession. Additionally, it holds the open prongs of the hand on that arm towards the extra-large ornamental weapon, clearly ready to grab it upon receiving consent.

[You have no business throwing any of them anytime soon anyway. You might as well.]

“Oh, uh, yeah, it’s a bit cumbersome, huh. Thanks.” Lucas stuffs his phone back away to free his hand again to gather up and hand over the ornamental weaponry he laid claim upon.

During the brief amount of time it takes Lucas to collect all of them and hand them over to 23, his phone chimes multiple times within the confines of his pocket.

While Miss Calculated walks over to have 23 carry hers as well, Lucas’s phone has begun ringing for an incoming call.

‘Sheesh, insistent, ain’t ya?’

-----

Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 14.75 (+.01 +.01 +.01 +.01 = +.04 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 4.50* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are extremely high.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.25* (More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals, even more people are realizing he's an impulsive idiot)

Jonathan total kills: 6

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 5.36 (.1 +.01 = +.11)

Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (A few paranoid individuals are suspicious)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)

Supervillain social circle size: 14

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, staring wide-eyed at a small handgun he is now holding: S-seriously!? A gun is only worth as much as a knife? Aww, there’s barely any ammo left. ...Is that why?

Willy, getting bored from waiting for the boomerang-obsessed idiots to hurry up and get going: Bark...

Lucas, hesitating on answering the ringing phone he is now holding in his right hand: ‘Hey, can they like, triangulate my position or some shit if I answer?’

427 would be facepalming if he had either a face or a palm to do so with: [With all the things you’re reckless about, you’re worried about the security of Miss Calculated’s latest phone design? I’m pretty sure you’d hurt her feelings if you had asked that out loud. If you’re so worried, just don’t let the call last too long.]

Author, shaking their head: 427, you should keep in mind that Lucas has watched numerous movies and shows that involved finding someone by tracing a phone call at some point or another. Frankly, it’s surprising he isn’t convinced that they’ll instantly trace the call the second he picks up, with this world’s tech.

Mr. Quacks, taunting the man with a broken hand that is running away from Jonathan at a speed that he could overtake without even using his powers: Quack!