Chapter 176 - Columns, Caryatids, Who Cares?

Going back a bit, narratively speaking, to right around when Miss Calculated cant-cursed Miss Chievous, then took a seat on the padded armchair Lucas had previously occupied.

Now that Miss Chievous is the last of the loiterers left vertically aligned, she looks at her lounging possibilities. They are, unfortunately, relatively lacking, as all of the possible places are settled by her colleagues. Left with limited alternatives, she selects the most undeniably logical solution; beleaguering pitiful little ill-fated Jonathan.

Since she at least bears a modicum of respect for the fact that he’s in the middle of playing a game, she sits on the arm of his chair and leans over to look at the screen of his phone, rather than directly physically terrorizing him.

Jonathan warily shoots a few occasional sidelong glances at Miss Chievous perched on the edge of his chair, somehow still managing to keep enough of his focus on his game to continue playing without any real issues. Eventually realizing she is genuinely watching his color matching spree, and not just waiting for the perfect moment to interrupt him; he relaxes his vigilance, albeit only by a little bit.

While a 3-chain combo is merrily bursting across the screen, Jonathan quickly glances at the furniture arranged nearby; discovering that the only other potential seat for Miss Chievous would be if she crowded in with her sister on the chair next to him. Well, that is unless Mark decides to actually sit upright and NOT take up 70% of a couch all on his own, but that’s definitely not going to happen. As it is, Mikah’s lucky that Mark hasn’t decided to use him as a footrest.

One other thing that Jonathan noticed during his latest regional visual sweep is the approaching service bot, bearing bathing-based bedding oblations for everybody’s beloved barker.

Upon the service bot completing its task of arranging agreeable accommodations, Miss Chievous’s attention is temporarily diverted as she “Aww”’s over Willy getting comfortable once more. Unfortunately, thanks to her unstable perch on the arm of Jonathan’s chair, and the distance between Willy and herself, she’d probably fall over if she tried to reach out to pet him.

Eventually having her fill with observing the pupper parking in progress, Miss Chievous turns her gaze over to Jonathan’s phone once more. While the speed has increased a bit, it’s still within an easily manageable difficulty range for him.

Noticing her focus shifting his way yet again, Jonathan scoots back and to the left as much as he can within the confines of the armchair, making some room for her.

“H-here, th-that can’t be, um, comfortable up th-there.” As if Jonathan’s stammering isn’t enough, he effectively mumbles the offer, unwilling to be too accommodating. Throughout this, his attention outwardly seems to still be wholly focused on the phone in his hands.

Miss Chievous smiles and makes an amused snort, reaches into one of her pants pockets to pull out her phone, and then slides right into place next to Jonathan. She shifts her position backward as much as she can, ending up sitting hip-to-hip with Jonathan. Their lack of space is distinctly reminiscent of what it’s like when three full-grown adults try to squeeze into the backseat of a small sedan.

“Thanks. Hey, what’s this one called? The speed doesn’t seem so bad this time.” By the time Miss Chievous finishes curiously asking this, Jonathan has finished adapting a more huddled pose, his elbows no longer extending past his sides, and he’s holding the phone up a bit higher.

“O-oh, um, y-yeah… It’s, um, Rainbow… Caryatids?” Jonathan’s confidence is as overwhelming as ever when he’s saying this. Humorously enough, he does remember the name just fine; he just was uncertain as to how to actually pronounce it. Though he does end up being correct, fortuitously.

“...The hell kind of name is that? Oh, found it. Ohh, that makes a lot more sense now with the promo art. Sheesh! I knew it was old, but I didn’t realize it was THAT old!? Over three decades!? ...Actually, all the games you’ve been playing have been pretty dated, haven’t they? What’s the deal with that?” Miss Calculated manages to find the game in the app store fairly quickly, and can’t help shouting after scrolling through the description area to read some of the details. Despite any implications one could get from her exclamation, she still taps the button to begin downloading and installing it, so she can play as well.

Throughout all of these actions, she is far less self-conscious about where her elbows are poking than Jonathan is, though she does at least manage to avoid disrupting his gaming session via any direct jabs.

“I had an old game system when I still, um, l-lived with my, uh, b-birth parents. Since I already p-played them a lot, I wanted to try again with my speed…” Even though Jonathan tenses up a bit upon mentioning his renounced family, he does seem more than just a little nostalgic about the games themselves. Also, while the game still isn’t necessarily all that fast for him yet, it is still taking enough of his focus that he’s not stuttering anywhere near as much as he most likely would in a direct conversation.

“Huh… Aren’t antiques like that even more valuable than something, er, newer? Oh, I guess they’ve just had it kicking around for a while?” While Miss Chievous muses this aloud, her phone has finished its Miss-Calculated-designed secondary file check on the game, finally launching it.

“...Are they? A-anyway, um, they didn’t b-buy it; I got it out of an, um, a-abandoned apartment. I had a friend that knew how to, uh, pick a bunch of different kinds of locks… Wh-when we thought that n-no one lived somewhere an-anymore, he’d pick one lock a day, and I’d be on, um, l-lookout duty. B-by the time we made it in, we were pretty sure that the owner was, um, p-probably dead, and took wh-whatever we wanted. He took the, um, n-newer games, but he let me have the old ones as thanks for h-helping out. ...I haven’t seen him in a long time… Ack!” Enough of Jonathan’s attention had shifted from the game to his recollections that he accidentally drops a piece in the wrong spot. At least the slip-up is nothing fatal.

Miss Chievous chuckles with amusement at his mistake, but resists the urge to elbow him and make things even worse. Poking through the menus of her copy of the game a few times, she goes to arcade mode to begin her own round as she keeps the conversation going.

“I probably should learn how to pick at least a few styles of locks, but Marsha always says it’s a waste of time and just breaks them. I can’t really say she’s wrong, either, but I can’t help but think it could be useful to be able to do it sneakily. Or to, you know, not need to have her break it for me.” Miss Chievous has an amused smile while saying this, and Jonathan chuckles along upon envisioning Miss Chievous with a set of picks in her hands while crouching in front of a classic padlock, and Miss Masher just walking over and yanking the lock off of whatever it was mounted on and crushing it one-handed like it was made out of aluminum foil.

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Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 17.35

Lucas's fame level: 6.0* (The Brotherhood of the Silver Spoon’s website has gone live!)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.25* (Being high-profile with the website has made many people decide that it’s unlikely for him to be so brazenly attention-seeking as a hero in this day and age. Of course, there are a few that see it as the publicity stunt it is; therefore feeling unswayed, or even further convinced of his hero status.)

Jonathan total kills: 7

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 6.05 (+.01 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 4.0* (The Brotherhood of the Silver Spoon’s website has gone live!)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (Being high-profile with the website… yada-yada same as Lucas.)

Willy's fame level: 4.5* (The famous meme dog’s portion of the new image gallery has led to a new wave of memes, and now more people involved know who he is, rather than just a niche portion that saw the original streams.)

Mr. Quacks’s fame level: 5.0* (The world has been taken by storm. The massive Mr. Quacks gallery has spawned even more memes than Willy now has in his honor.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

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Little character theater:

Jonathan is still just actively playing the game on his phone, even when the scene ended. Miss Chievous is still playing hers, too. Both of them haven’t even bothered moving. Oh, now they started elbowing each other, trying to make the other mess up.

Willy, noticing the sudden movements from their increasingly forceful play fighting: Bark bark!

Lucas will never show up if he isn’t needed for a scene ever again, thanks to the last chapter’s precedent.

427 is unavailable, for what should still be obvious reasons.

Author, clearing their throat and turning to face the audience: For those of you that aren’t sure what a caryatid is, and haven’t gone to look it up yet, allow me to make it easier for you.

Caryatid: noun, a stone carving of a draped female figure, used as a pillar to support the entablature of a Greek or Greek-style building. Aka fancy statue-lady columns.

Also, I’m allowed to play with additional letters occasionally, in novel and unlooked-for styles. 11 L’s there, nice. There were 34 in the second paragraph, though. Did you realize just how many of them were there when you first read it?

Mr.. Quacks, perched on the back of Jonathan and Miss Chievous’s armchair, watching both of their game’s progress. Surprisingly, despite their best offensive elbow attempts, both of them are still maintaining the same round as earlier: Quack!