After putting the metal box, Huo ZhenBang’s birthday present for Xiao Qin, at home, I clenched the two tickets to the underground boxing match in my hand and felt a little uneasy.
It’s definitely illegal, right? If it’s called an “underground” boxing match, then it wouldn’t follow the normal rules and I’m afraid that when they fight, it would be a fight to the death. Basically, the “death matches” that Peng TouSi participated in before.
China is really keeping up with the times, I thought these ancient Roman arena fights would only exist in the United States, Russia, or other capitalist countries, but I didn’t think concert hall, bars, or casinos, would become a way to for rich people to release stress in China.
Although I knew from the bottom of my heart that these underground boxing matches treated human life like trash, but once I saw the sandbag hanging in my bedroom, I couldn’t resist the urge to throw two quick jabs at it.
Two loud “Bangs” reverberated from the rough sandbag as if it was the drum beat before the battle began in an ancient Roman arena fight.
A fight without rules really piqued my interest and I really wanted to see it with my own eyes.
It was the kind of fight that gave birth to a strong fighter like Peng TouSi. I finally had an opportunity to watch, it would be too unmanly if I didn’t ho simply because it was illegal.
My body began to itch once I made up my mind. Although Huo ZhenBang told me the underground tournament would be hosted in Dong Shan city for a whole week, but holding the tickets in my hand made me feel like a teenager who had just downloaded a new AV, I didn’t have the patience to wait until the weekend to enjoy it.
I wanted to go today, since Xiao Qin’s birthday wasn’t until tomorrow.
Who to bring for the second ticket was an easy decision.
Of course I invited Peng TouSi, the former undefeated underground boxing champion, known as the “Black Death God”. I can definely learn a lot more with him next to me giving me commentary.
I called Peng TouSi, it was a good time since Ai Mi was well staffed, so she graciously “lent” me Peng TouSi, and even provided her specialized car for us.
After dark, I was escorted by Peng TouSi in a luxury Batmobile to the outskirts of an unused warehouse. Everything felt unreal as I looked at the various vehicles parked around me.
“Underground fights… I didn’t think I would still feel some nostalgia.”
Peng TouSi looked out the window at the night scene and smiled bitterly.
“However, the organizers in Dong Shan City are too unprofessional, right? How can you give out physical tickets for something like an underground fights. In the States, all the information is released through Facebook with coded messages, then immediately deleted after ten seconds or so.”
“Um… it could be because China doesn’t allow Facebook, so they had to give out tickets.” I made a random guess.
“Isn’t there still Sina Weibo?” Peng TouSi pointed out while he turned off the engine.
I didn’t really have any confidence in front of Peng TouSi, who was quite an expert on China.
I don’t know which local boss hosted the underground fights, but the entire thing from beginning to end seemed like an imitation. The spectators didn’t seem rich or powerful, but there were a lot of drunkards, local hoodlums, and at most two parvenus.
Well… although the venue is remote, the facilities are simple, the average quality of the audience is low, but there should still be some good fighters, right? Don’t people all say that the most difficult environment will produce the greatest warriors?
The people in charge of ticket inspection at the entrance of the warehouse were two soldier-like men, Peng TouSi took a step forward it almost scared the two of them to death.
“Do… do you have a ticket?” Guard A stammered and asked.
I walked my way up from behind Peng TouSi in an intimidating manner and handed two tickets over.
Guard B shivered a bit when he received the tickets and almost dropped them.
“Go, go in.”
The torn tickets were casually thrown on the ground. The hell, are they undercover agents? Are they afraid the police would have a hard time finding us?
“Too unprofessional, too unprofessional…”
Peng TouSi kept shaking his head. When I told them I had two tickets to underground fights, he was amazed someone would actually print the address on the ticket. Although the address would only show up when you held it up to the sun, he still didn’t feel it was reliable.
I gasped after I entered the warehouse.
It was so simple, it was a really simple and crude concrete platform built crookedly in the middle of the warehouse. A few pillars were inserted and then surrounded by a rope ring, which reminded me of one of my modeling clay projects in the fourth grade.
The audience seating was also shabby, it was like they bought clearance folding chairs from Taobao. It was already uncomfortable and straining for someone as young as me to sit in them, let alone the others.
I think there’s a limit to imitation. Currently it feels like someone else made it to the moon on a rocket, but then we strapped four firecrackers to each leg of a stool and also want to travel to space.
Because Peng TouSi and I were together, the organizers mistook him for my bodyguard, so we were both invited to sit in the VIP area.
To be honest, if they didn’t tell me, I really couldn’t tell the west side was the VIP seats. The only difference was there was ¥16 seats instead of ¥12 seats.
But… there should be expert fighters, right?
Peng TouSi and I sat in the first row of the “VIP seats”. To our right was a salesman uncle with a crooked tie. He didn’t have a lot of hair and he had a disheveled face. It seems he drank a lot of alcohol before he came here.
“Eh, you’re gambling at such a young age?” The salesman uncle stretched his neck and asked me with Peng TouSi sitting between us.
“Gambling?” I didn’t understand what he meant.
“Spectators often place bets on matches for underground fights, it’s one of their important sources of income.” Peng TouSi explained.
The salesman uncle was taken aback when he heard Peng TouSi speak Chinese.
“Damn, you’re very skilled at Chinese.”
“I’m flattered.” Peng TouSi said modestly, “I can only speak, I can’t write.”
“That’s still very impressive, by the way, if you two need housing resources, you can come to me at Lian Jia Real Estate, everyone calls me ‘Lao Mao’, this is my business card…”
What a strong dedication, shouldn’t you know that underground fights is illegal? There aren’t a lot of good people in this warehouse right now and there may even be undercover cops.Should you really hand over your business card so casually?
In contrast, Peng TouSi was much more cautious, he introduced himself, “My name is Peng Peng, I’m the young master’s bodyguard.”
Then he pointed towards me, “This is my family’s young master, called… Lin Ye. We’re not going to place bets, we just came to watch.”
After looking at Peng TouSi’s majestic physique, as well as my mean face, a fearful look appeared for a short while in Lao Mao’s eyes. But in the blink of an eye, the alcohol came back and he became a chatterbox again.
“Hey, hey, young master Linand Mr. Peng, it sounds like you guys are from the underworld.”
Peng TouSi nodded and said, “Thank you.”
Thank you my ass, don’t just nonchalantly admit it.
There are no undercover police officers around, right? I just came to observe unrestricted fights, I don’t want to be mistaken as criminals and arrested then sent to jail.
Lao Mao burped and slacked his face muscles. His had a weird smile on his face that was induced by his alcohol poisoning.
“People from the underworld… it’s fine if you’re from the underworld. Triads are also people, they also have to buy homes and live in them, right? If you ever need me just ask… burp.”
“Mr. Lao Mao, is this your first time watching a match?” Peng TouSi asked Lao Mao politely.
“Don’t call me mister, the customer is God, so just call me Lao Mao. The tickets were sold to me by… Lao Lee who runs a bookstall old Lee, he said it was more fun than the lottery… I’m going to gamble as much as I want today.”
Why are underground fight tickets sold like games and you can buy them at a bookstall… I’m not sure how much courage the organizer has, or if they are just lacking common sense.
But even if the organizer is an idiot, there should still be experts fighting, right? If there aren’t any experts, then there wouldn’t be people eagerly betting, right?
“Sob sob sob…” Lao Mao suddenly cried.
“Damn Xiao Wang, he actually snatched away my…”
Did he steal your wife? Did you come here to bet to vent because your wife ran away with someone else?
I didn’t expect Lao Mao to say: “… he snatched away my old client. The two million dollar contract was also taken away, damn it!”
So it was just an internal competition between salesman? It was an old customer who was snatched away and not your wife, shouldn’t that be worth celebrating.
At this time, someone came by with a cart to sell drinks and snacks. It was just as expensive as the ones sold on a train. Peng TouSi and I each took a can of tomato juice and it cost ¥20 per can.
“Why are they selling tomato juice at a place where blood and sweat fly around, I really don’t understand what the organizers are thinking.” I spat.
If Peng TouSi hadn’t highly recommended the tomato juice which had active enzymes to strengthen muscles, I wouldn’t have drunk the stuff.
“Are you going to start?!” Someone shouted from the east side seats.
Then all the lights were shutoff like the opening of a movie. A beam of light struck the center of the platformand a host in a yellow striped suit and bow tie made an appearance on stage.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please be quiet, the exciting match is about to begin.”
For some reason, I felt that the host had traits of a comedian.
“Eh, isn’t this the MC that was hired when Boss Qian got married?”
Lao Mao suddenly said.
What the hell is the situation where a wedding MC was invited to host an underground fight?
“This event is co-sponsored by CCTV, United Arab Emirates, and the Cosmopolitan Athletic Center.”
“Here is the first pair of contestants for the exhibition match. Let’s seem them compete for the championship title and give early birth to a son, no I mean…. may you live a long and happy life together, no… I mean… anyway, everyone please applaud.”
At least get your lines prepared before you host an underground fight. Who the hell wants to hear your overused and boring wedding jokes.
The host atmospherically waved his arm, “First I’ll introduce the male partner… no I mean the fighter in red.”
“A ninth-dan kyokushin master from Japan, Mr. Ito.”
A medium-sized man with a “Japanese” style mustache came on stage.
“Boo boo.” The stage resounded with the sound of boos and jeers.
“Hello, everyone.” Ito said in Chinese with a very fake “Japanese” accent. “Our Japanese karate is the best in the world, I will definitely be the champion.”
That’s so fake. At least get rid of your Chinese accent before pretending to be Japanese.
Among the audience’s curses, the host began to introduce the fighter in blue. At least this time he didn’t say “female”, otherwise the two can be sent straight to the bridal chamber.
“The blue fighter is a ninth dan taekwondo fighter from South Korea, Mr. Lee Yong Gil.”
That’s even more outrageous. Even the underwear thief’s master, Xu JinSheng was only an eighth dan. I heard there were only three ninth dan in the world. All of them are Korean and all of them were 70 to 80 years old, but the man who ran on stage looked at most forty years old.
I want to throw my tomato juice at them! They found two fake foreigners to entertain everyone, isn’t this on the same level as one of those sleazy strip tease bars?
The fake Korean, Lee Yong Gil, took the microphone and announced to the audience.
“Korean Tae Kwon Do is the strongest-seumnida. Also Confucius and Jesus were both Koreans, the universe was also created by Koreans-seumnida.”
Peng TouSi and I sat upright on our seats and were on the verge spitting out blood from anger.