Chapter 51

[t1v: parts of this were hard to translate because the author switches from 3rd person to 1st person, intending to give insight from Kalisten’s POV. I kept it largely in 3rd person for readability for English readers because we are so rigid about everything being completely 3rd or 1st person. Therefore, from Kalisten’s POV, Aselia is male, so even though we, the readers, know otherwise, her pronouns here appear in this chapter mainly as ‘him/he’ and ‘they/them’ when he feels confused about her gender and back to ‘she/her’ when it is more from the readers POV and it’s Aselia’s personal thoughts. In Korean, pronouns are not as used as often as in English, and this author usually avoids it *dizzy*]

No matter how much Kalisten thought about it, he had no choice but to believe his memories were just a dream. He had been in a delirium full of narcotics, so he wasn’t sane.

It was just that whenever he came in contact with Aselia, he became more honest without intending to because of the hazy yet comfortable feeling they gave him.

He just couldn’t figure out where his fantasy started and stopped.

His body looked all better and clean. There wasn’t even a trace of Aselia’s presence coming and going.

He didn’t even know how much time had passed.

-Beep.

That moment.

“Oh, are you awake?”

Aselia approached, holding a plate of food.

Unconsciously, Kalisten looked Aselia up and down, making sure their figure was entirely male and their chest was flat, not the big, soft breasts he had touched.

Indeed yesterday, the reflexive smile on their face when their eyes met made him look like the woman he had seen before. But he seemed utterly male now.

What remained the same was that he had a pleasant scent, his neck was thin, and his eyes were soft and sad.

“Did you sleep well?”

In addition, he spoke beautifully and had a good voice. His voice was still pleasant to listen to, although it was lower than the one he had heard when he had seen him as a woman.

“Don’t come any closer.”

“Huh?”

But he felt threatened and troubled by Aselia’s approach, even though the drugs must have worn off by now. If it was time for breakfast, it meant at least four hours had passed.

“What’s wrong?”

He looked at Aselia, his eyes wide in bewilderment, feeling like they were like the woman he had seen the other day, and his heart felt strange.

“You.”

“Uh?”

“Did you come to my room last night?”

When Aselia recalled his reaction and what had happened the day before, she answered in a knee-jerk manner, involuntarily out of embarrassment.

“Oh, no!”

“Haa… .”

He was relieved by the answer. If he hadn’t come last night, it must have been a dream.

But what is that fantasy?

He was madly resentful for having such a vision. Perhaps because he had such a dream, he felt guilty whenever he saw Aselia.

How could he imagine and covet the person who cared for him that way!?

“Why? Why?? Why???”

Embarrassed and panicking, Aselia asked three times. Kalisten was surprised and more excited that the dream he had yesterday was so realistic. Because reality was the same as his imagination when Aselia reacted the same way when flustered.

“I don’t know. Don’t come any closer.”

He glared away at Aselia because of the blush growing on his face and the heat rushing down his unruly, reactive body. If he got closer like this, Aselia would also notice his strange feelings.

Then, he will stop being nice to me like now.

If he knew I had such a dream, it was obvious that his look of goodwill would turn into one of contempt.

“Well, but, still—your breakfast… .”

“Ah.”

He remembered the last time Aselia had been slapped across the face when he didn’t eat the food he had served for breakfast. So he sighed and said,

“Leave it there and turn around.”

“Ah… okay.”

Aselia set the tray on the floor, then turned around and sat down.

Her heart felt tight; Kalisten must have been treating her like this because of yesterday’s events. It was as if he wanted to dismiss yesterday’s events as a dream.

Well, then I will too! Besides, how could he be sane after taking truth serums and opioids?

“Haa… .”

Kalisten didn’t even want to eat. He had no appetite, but the tasteless food in front of him seemed especially terrible today.

But if you don’t eat, Aselia will be beaten.

He really hated that. To the point where it would be better for him to get hit instead of Aselia.

“Aselia.”

“Um?”

Aselia gently turned around at his words. He felt apologetic, so he offered:

“Let’s eat together.”

“Huh? But then you will be hungry.”

“No, actually I really don’t want to eat.”

At his words, Aselia stared at him, wondering. He looked somehow confused and dark. Maybe that’s why he nodded his head timidly.

“Let’s eat together.”

“… yes.”

So he said while facing Aselia,

“You use a fork. I will use the spoon.”

“Wouldn’t a fork be more comfortable?”

“I’m more comfortable with a spoon.”

Of course, the fork was more comfortable. But he wanted Aselia to eat comfortably, so he said that. Soon, Aselia smiled and replied:

“Kal, did you have a bad dream?”

Kalisten looked at Aselia at those words. Then he met Aselia’s reflexive smile when they met eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, what kind of dream was it?”

“Very… bad dream.”

As he said that, he lowered his gaze to the food. Trying to hide the fact he had unconsciously bent the spoon.

“You said you didn’t like potato salad. So I will eat this.”

“Yes.”

Kalisten watched Aselia scoop up the potato salad with a fork and eat it. The way he chewed was like a rabbit. Then, when he took another bite of the salad, his cheeks swelled a little as if his small mouth was full.

Unlike the previous impression of being like a rabbit, this time, it seemed to look like a hamster.