Chapter 39: Nightmare

Merleen's point of view

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People called me the prodigy child. After the neighbours witnessed the bright light emerging from my hands, all the villagers deemed me a saviour. Those people defined me as a mage that had the power to vanquish evil.

I was the talk of the town. Those people told me I had the destiny to purify the evil in this world.

"This is…?"

My eyes widened in the darkened yet nostalgic room. The stack of a thousand hays covered the roof, with paintings dangling on the wall. Those sketches came from my mother beside the furniture carved by my father.

"Why am I here?! I'm back to normal?"

From all I remembered, my voice changed, along with my vocabulary. Every time I spoke about myself, my body shivered in fright. That sensation reminded me of my dead parents, who I killed when I discovered magic.

Talking about myself ravaged my heart and me. It was all that I had remembered…

"This place… this room. No… This happened last year! Why am I inside my village!" Despite my reminisced voice, it was still the same. No matter how many days had passed by, the wounds left by this house remained fresh.

The nightmare haunted me wherever I went. It was as if reminding me of the terrors I faced when I was still ignorant of my magic. The world ridiculed a young maiden who wanted a normal life.

"You… killed us! I have no daughter! You're a monster, Merleen! A monster."

A familiar feminine voice echoed behind me, cursing out my name. Upon swivelling behind, two apparitions emerged from the shadows. The figure of a man extended his arms, shielding the woman from behind. That girl had the same eyes as mine, but she cried a river of tears.

They already died a year ago…

"You killed your own mother! You don't deserve our love, Merleen…" My father blamed me as a criminal. He caressed his hand around the abdomen, where a hole marked the end of his life.

My mother also had that space on her chest. Those two marks served as the symbol for their deaths… and the death of Merleen inside of me.

That hole came from the brilliant light that emerged from my palm. It was the magic that I wanted to share with them. Since I was still oblivious to the power contained inside of me, I did not know... that the light would take their lives.

"You killed us… You killed us! YOU KILLED US, MERLEEN!"

My mother's words echoed inside of me. It was not the soft lullaby I heard when she still cradled me around her arms. It was not the same smile that I fell in love with every passing moon.

"N-No! I-I don't want to kill you… Mother… father… I-I love you!" I screamed, yet my words never reached their ears.

Instead of returning those words, piercing knives hurled in my direction. Hurtful words came right after those hovering blades. It was as if my parent's curses had a sharp edge that would rip my heart, which already got destroyed.

She glared at me for the last time, motioning me to run away. I did as my parents had told and exited the place, along with my beating heart.

The palm around my hands glowed a violent hue in my eyes. It was the same colour I remembered when I last activated my magic.

"That's right… I killed them," I murmured, and dashed straight towards the gate.

But my nightmare did not end there. It was just the beginning. The problems came one after the other, with the smoke reaching through my nostrils and blaring screams that came from the panicked children.

"The village…?"

No matter how twisted my thoughts could become, the shacks and the fences told me otherwise. My mind knew that none of these variables happening was real… but my heart screamed back.

Just like the events from before, the village got attacked by a monster horde. The chief told everyone that the demonic creatures had something in hand. They planned to revolt against the Kingdom of Camelot, or so I had been told.

But all the adventurers died from their previous expeditions. And the only people that could defend the town were the chief and me…

I remembered everything like a recently finished book, but I wished those memories would leave me alone.

"Merleen! You need to get out of here!" The chief grabbed my hand and pushed me away. "You need to get out of here before the monsters take you! Save yourself!"

That man shoved me to a safer place, away from the scrambling crowd. He ordered me to sprint onward and care for myself, despite the surrounding people dying because of me. I had these powers, even killed my parents. And yet, here I am, running for my life.

Instead of retorting at the chief, I froze like a block of ice in the middle of the desert. My hands refused to heed my calls, and my mouth devoured the words I wanted to say. Hence, I ran away, as the chief told me.

But as I glimpsed behind, the man who I confided my life flashed me a snicker. But it was not a pleasant smile that I remembered. With all the tears cascaded from his eyes, I doubted the chief wanted me to escape without bringing his family.

"Runaway and never return to the village! You killed all of us! You could use your magic and save everyone inside the town. And yet, you ran away! You killed your parents, Merleen! You killed the entire village, Merleen!"

"NO! I-I WANT TO PROTECT YOU TOO!"

Despite my screams, my body still zoomed on the other side. All the neighbours at my flank feel like flies. Those children and mothers glued their eyes as soon as they kissed the ground, blaming me even on their deathbed.

I remembered now… this event caused me to hate myself. To hate my powers. To hate everything I knew and loved.

"....."

After that day, there was nothing else I could do but move forward. It was not my choice to look ahead. If faith gave me the freedom, I would have ended my life here…

But I didn't. Even in this reality, hope kept clinging onto my back. I did not want to blindlessly believe in that glimmer of light, since it was the one that cursed my life.

As I wandered through the forest for two nights, I finally lost my energy to continue forward. However, the world refused to give up on me as I heard someone groan from afar.

*******

"Merleen found something… Merleen will go to the figure…" My voice got the better of me and changed the way I spoke. I did not notice it at first, but I recognised I became a different person.

I was a person who lacked self-confidence when speaking to others. But despite this obstacle in front of me, I trod onward and went for the wailing man.

As I reached the apex of the small lump of mud, a figure of a man floated in the stream. At the end of the river was a den of vile creatures. Although I had no relation with this man, my body moved of its own accord.

I jumped from the slippery stone and prayed that I would not slip. As I successfully grabbed my opportunity, I hauled the man to the dry land and gave him the warmth that he needed.

I pushed all the hesitation away from my mind as I focused on igniting the dry pine cones and twigs.

The nightmare that I had repeated itself. This place followed me to the ends of the world, telling me to take my life and end everything. However, the man kindled an ember from my dying lantern, paving the broken roads ahead.

The realm that I deemed as a nightmare became a blissful dream. Although the churning pain still latched on to me, a warm sensation enveloped my heart.

For the first time in my life, I saved a man. I thought I was a worthless woman… a maiden that kept running away from her past. I was still that cowardly girl.

But this man had something different burning in his eyes. Even though he shut his orbs tight, I knew he was something important to me.

I grasped his slumbering hand and felt the warmth of a human once again. Although that feeling could never replace my mother's love, it still gave me the comfort I needed.

I readied my utensils and concocted a medicine that my mother taught me before. Even though the grim memories of my past still lingered behind my back, I yearned to save the boy. There was nothing left inside of me or a place that I could stay. This man, who had no home, could be the one that my destiny had spoken of.

"Merleen will save you… Merleen will…" The tears from my eyes continued to fall.

But it came not from sadness as I found my lips curving up into a smile.