57 Trapped

How many days had passed by? No, is it weeks, months or years.

I don't know, I lost count of it.

It's so boring I want to get out. I'm so lonely, I want to see my family again.

God, I'm really gonna die of boredom. There is no one in this space except for the robot and stars.

I cannot even control my body, I don't now where I'm heading to. I'm floating across the space for how long who knows.

without my power, I really feel helpless in this situation. Damn, I just realise I'm weak without my power. It's really funny when I said I wanted to conquer Earth.

Hypothetically, If I don't have powers to begin with does the thought of conquering the world would passed through to my mind? The answer is definitely 'no'.

Even I have memories from other person's life from 10 years ago. That life is just above average.

Having good intelligence, Good physique and cunning personality. That's all there is to it. I'm not genius that can invent anything, I'm not strong enough to smash a country. I'm not a genius business man that can make money from scratch.

I was just an a highschool nearing gradutation in my past life.

Overall, I'm pretty much useless in magic world. I'm just relying on my power, I did not even where this 'power' came from. I depend on it so much and thought with 'powe' I could conquer the world.

But, I just became a fool that was blinded by power I did not obtain on my own.

Why can I say that? It's because looking at the past bothe shido and mine. We did not encounter something like 'was given a power'. So I can say this power is not mine.

Now that I can't use the power. I'm back to the ordinary me.

When reading the magic spells, I notice that I can't feel 'mana' at all. I meditate everday, I don't what's concept of everyday in this space though so I think it's Meditating everytime I want to meditate.

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Time passed fast but, I could'nt even feel the 'mana'. Is it really, that I don't have talent in magic...

Now, I feel envious of my family that have 'orb of magic'. I already said many times it's okay from not having 'orb of magic' but, I'm just too conceited of my reliance on the 'power'. I'm so funny...

Learing magic as a normal human is really difficult. Thankfully, This space provides me time.

It's been years I think? I have been trapped in this space. I did no get hungry and even aged. What an amazing thing is, this space or should I say the book that sucked me.

I have already understood the books I picked up and can already imagine it all in my mind. I even mastered the trick and complex magical cricles. but the only problem is I cannot put all those in practice because of my lack understanding of 'mana'.

From what I know 'mana' is a form of energy that is important aspect of using magic spells. The more mana a person have the more spells they could chant. but having only large mana is not really a good thing for a person's body if they don't sufficient storage to store the mana. This part is something I really don't understand, I know mana needs a storage but where can I find this storage if I don't have one. I tried making one but I don' have a single clue where to start. Because, I don't have a book that will help me creating a mana storage.

God, I hate this. It's annoying. I tried making a barrel inside my mind but It won't work. Without enough guide it's vexing.

WillI be trapped in here for enternity? That's would really sucks.

I have already strengthen my mind so that's why I'm not really depressed being alone for how many years I've been trapped in this tupid space. If I really can get out in here, I would burn that black book.

I miss the body of my nieces and my sisters. Also my aunts milfy lusty bodies. God, stop thinking about that, I don't have something to realease my lust right now. Jerking off in tis space with a robot that might record my shameless display anytime.

I also miss my mama and her food. Speaking of mama, her blowjob that she gave me felt really good. I wish I could get out in here, I want to see my adorable mama again. having a mother with a loli body is really tempting me to do something I shouldn't, because of the stupid heart desire.

Why is does my heart desire is telling me not to lay my hand on my mother? I want to know, Damnit.

If only it could speak words, I would have already interviewed my heart desire if it could talk.

Let's stop thinking things I've already thought many weeks ago. Repeating remembering my family is necessary for me to not forget them. I don't care small things would disappear in my mind. As long I could not forget my family and love ones....

Forgot?... Memories?....I slapped my face. Shit, The answer is there all along. How could I not think of it. I'm such an idiot.

memory storage, Is something part of the curse of my family. Using magic will consume some of their memories. But with magic ball as catalyst, that will prevent from losing some memories. How stupid of me to forget about that.

There must be a reason why memories would be consumed by using magic.

Let's try making a storage inside the brain. I fell into meditative state. Time passed by. I concentrated my focus and will inside my barin but Making storage inside the brain seems possible but after completing the storage it would break for some time.

I cough up blood. argh! It hurts!

Fuck! Fuck! This is so painful, I think my brain will explode. I stopped and chanted the mantra to calm of my mind.

It was failure but, the good news is it is possible to make storage in the brain. but I would need to search for location where I should put the storage. Also the problem is the storage itself. It easily broke apart. I need a tough storage.

Althought it's painful, I'm making progress. I don't care when I could get out in here. As long I could make myself and my family proud. Since I did not rely on my power, it's okay for my family to know I can do magic now.

I would also be happy If could learn magic by myself and obtain with my own hardwork. I know have 'power' and it's powerful. But, I don't want to realy on that too much, because I don't when it would disappear or it might become too powerful that I could not handle it anymore. Worse case scenario it would take control of my body, I still don't know where the power came from so learning magic can help me reduce burden if my power goes berserk.

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