Chapter 208: I am a Monster!!!

The body double youngster gazed at everyone: “I don’t need to say much about the current situation, in fact, everyone understands it from the bottom of their heart.”

“Holding impractical delusions and hoping Jia Sha and Zhen Jin will save you all is extremely unlikely.”

Everyone was still on guard, but their flickering gazes expressed their slight hesitation.

The youngster’s words entered their heart, although they had only spent a short time with Jia Sha, they couldn’t stand his actions. Jia Sha desired the divine artifacts too much and was very unreliable.

But at that moment, Jia Sha laughed on the fourth floor: “Hehehe, body double, if you want to throw your life away, then come. Do you think you can entice them to risk their lives with you? You are guessing at the situation; therefore, you are unsure. You seem to be urging them on, are you making them share the risks with you?”

“Don’t be fooled everyone! The chaotic lightning will take your lives. Even if you charge up, don’t tell me you think you can successfully kill me and Zhen Jin? Kill a priest and templar knight? You will be enemies of the empire, even if you are victorious and survive, you will be wanted by the empire, and henceforth, can only live as fearful wanderers. If you are captured, hanging and other cruel punishments are waiting for you.”

Naturally, Jia Sha didn’t agitate the youngster and the others, instead his words increased everyone’s hesitation.

The body double looked at Zong Ge, as the most prestigious person in the crowd, he needed his support.

But the half beastman tightly locked his brows and didn’t indicate anything.

Zhen Jin laughed and jeered: “Body double, do you still believe you are me? You are not a templar knight or a noble, and a lowly bloodline flows through your body, why would they follow you? You are just a body double, a tool. Do you really think you can rally and lead these people to deal with us? Has the lighting made you stupid?”

Zhen Jin imitated Jia Sha, after taunting the youngster, he continued to shout at the others: “He wants to exploit you all so he can live, don’t be hoodwinked again!”

“I will use my noble magic to save everyone!”

“Believe me, I am a templar knight while he is only a body double that has always deceived you!!”

The crowd was in an uproar.

The body double youngster sighed in his heart.

Zi Di once said on the fourth floor, her understanding of the situation wasn’t wrong. When Zhen Jin revealed his identity, it caused immense damage. The people didn’t trust Zhen Jin and guarded against the body double. When they looked at the body double youngster now, their eyes were evasive as they suspected he was harboring unfathomable motivations.

“During the entire journey, you have always deceived us. In the end, who are you?

“Who do you think you are?”

With deeply creased brows and gloomy tone, Zong Ge finally opened his mouth.

The crowd calmed down, all of them awaited the youngster’s answer.

Once they complied with the youngster, and even followed him feverishly, but now they were cold and suspicious.

The youngster deeply breathed.

He still looked like Zhen Jin, with his fair hair, blue eyes, and heroic appearance. But he also looked terrible with injuries and bloodstains. In addition, because of the lighting, much of his skin and clothes were blackened.

“Jia Sha’s and Zhen Jin’s words about me are not wrong.” The youngster declared.

Everyone almost believed they had misheard him.

But the youngster repeated himself: “Their words are not wrong.”

Using a downcast and slightly hoarse tone, but with a candid attitude, he slowly said:

“I am not Zhen Jin.”

“I am also not a genius.”

“My body does not have a noble bloodline.”

“I am not a templar knight.”

“I once had a beautiful girl by my side, and I believed she was my fiancée. However, she was an inherent schemer against me.”

“I am also not your leader. Because I don’t have the qualifications to lead you.”

Everyone grew quieter.

If the youngster denied or evaded these truths, he would have increased the doubts and vigilant attitudes.

But now, everyone began to earnestly listen to him.

The youngster exposed a bitter smile: “Who am I? I have always asked myself this question.”

“However, even now, I cannot answer that.”

“My original memory was cleared away, and now, I only have the shattered memories of another person.”

“Everyone knows their name.”

“I am inferior to you, because I never knew my own name.”

The youngster’s tragic tone made everyone fix their eyes on him.

“Even my own appearance looks like someone else, this should have been caused by War Merchant’s modulations and transformations.”

“In fact, as you can see, I am a beastified person, at most I could only be considered a comparatively special beastified person.

Saying this, the body double youngster stopped and deeply breathed, as if summoning his courage.

“I am a spear scorpion.”

Saying this, he activated the magic core, red light then gushed out and transformed into a hard golden scorpion carapace.

In the desert night, the spear scorpion youngster ate the golden granite boulders, exciting his heart: “Delicious, delicious!”

This transformation made everyone cry out in alarm, and many of them took a big step back.

“I am an acid green lizard.”

In the forest, the green lizard youngster trained his tail movement. Harming himself, the next day his buttocks were in great pain.

The youngster suddenly transformed a tail, causing everyone to cry in alarm again and cower another step back.

“I am also a bat monkey.”

The youngster sprouted bat wings and bat ears.

One night, the moonlight was like water. For the first time, the bat monkey youngster heard a countless number of wonderful sounds, and sensed nature’s deep and touching beauty.

In everyone’s constant fright, the cries became smaller, more people stood in place, and fewer continued to subconsciously withdraw.

“I am a monkey tail brown bear.”

The youngster spread both hands, after everyone saw the bubbling red light disappear, they saw the youngster’s hands had transformed into monkey tail brown bear claws.

During many late nights, the brown bear youngster diligently mined in a cave.

The people no longer withdrew, as their fear and nervousness began to reduce, they started to look in amazement.

Seeing the bear claws, Cang Xu seemed to think of some question and sank into contemplation.

“I am a blade spider.”

The youngster transformed spider blades.

In the forest, the blade spider youngster sank into vexation: “It seems weaving spider webs also needs diligent training!”

“Heavens. That’s the truth!” Someone murmured as he recognized it, that was the sword the youngster commonly used to battle the magic beasts.

“I am also a flying squirrel capable of electrical discharges.”

Electricity began to curl around the youngster’s transformed spider blade.

In order to emit electricity, he had trained for a long time and didn’t hesitate to capture live flying squirrels to be shocked by so he could find the electrical discharge method.

“That’s right, I am a beast, a monster.” The youngster had an extremely heavy expression, at that moment, he felt he was naked in a world of ice and snow.

Like he thought, the people looked at him with strong fear and rejection and wanted to flee from him.

But different from his expectations, besides fear, rejection, and evasiveness, there were many other emotions. This caused many to have complex expressions.

No sounds transmitted from the fourth floor.

This was also the first time Jia Sha had seen the youngster’s transformation, and he felt very surprised.

The monstrous youngster continued: “Although I am a beast and a monster, I wanted to become a knight, therefore I always used the knight’s creed to judge myself.”

“I wanted to become someone beloved by the gods, therefore I always prayed, however Emperor Sheng Ming never responded to me.”

“I wanted to become a noble, and the sole heir of a great clan. As a result, I always urged myself to strive in the restoration of my clan.”

“I wanted to become a leader, therefore I tried hard to charge ahead, and uphold fairness in my heart and soul.”

“How much I wish I was these things!”

“I almost believed myself.”

“But I am not.”

“The memories in my mind belong to someone else.”

“My name is another’s.”

“My fiancé also belongs to another.”

“Since awakening on this island, I have lived in a lie.”

The youngster forced a smile: “Did you know when I beastified for the first time, I was shocked!”

“I suspected it was a bloodline awakening and mistakenly suspected it was some kind of body transformation potion.”

“When I discovered at every step that I could transform into many beasts, I endured suffering.”

“Fear, doubt, indecisiveness……I asked myself, why did I turn out this way?”

“I didn’t want to worry Zi Di, thus I didn’t dare to speak the truth.

“How I wish this was a nightmare, however it really happened to me. I wanted to forget, however I could not, because the harsh environment always forced me to use my abilities.”

“Gradually, I discovered parts of their bodies, was a part of me. I loathed and evaded them, I loathed and shunned myself.”

“I sympathized with the giant, because in him, I see myself.”

“When my comrades beastified, I was the one most afraid. I especially feared a day when I would lose my rationality, become brutal, and kill those at my side.”

The youngster looked at Zong Ge and frankly said: “Someone said I deceived you all, correct, I deceived everyone. If possible, I still wanted to deceive everyone for a lifetime. If possible, I wanted to deceive myself for the rest of my life.”

“Because I didn’t want to be a monster! I don’t want to be a beastified person, a body double, or a tool! I don’t want to be rejected, hated, or discriminated against.”

Everyone was emotionally moved.

The youngster bowed his head, looked at his hands, and bitterly laughed: “Actually there were many flaws during my journey, but why haven’t I detected them until now?”

“Because I wanted to deceive myself more.”

“I deceived myself into thinking I was a noble knight that had fine amor and sat upon a white horse.

“I deceived myself into believing I was a noble that had a castle, a summer manor, beautiful subjects, and a financially successful fiancé.”

“I deceived myself into thinking the gods cared for and appreciated me, I thought I proved I had firm convictions.”

“I failed.”

“As you can see, I am no one.”

“I am nothing!”

“Now I can only tell myself: hey, you idiot, don’t deceive yourself, abandon these ridiculous, pathetic, and unrealistic fantasies, you are nothing! Recognize reality, you were never a normal man, you are a beastified person, a monster.”

Saying this, the youngster’s eyes reddened.

He had revealed the truth.

Everyone was silent.

Everyone quietly looked at the youngster.

Their vigilant expressions disappeared.

“Haha, you know yourself well, body double.” Zhen Jin jeered from the fourth floor.

The people immediately puckered their brows, and many showed their hatred.

But before he continued, the youngster’s voice suddenly increased and changed the topic: “Although I am nothing, who thinks that of me?”

“I am nothing, but can’t I act?”

“I am nothing, but can’t I try?”

The people’s hearts shook.

“Hmph, wishful thinking.” Jia Sha was exceedingly displeased and denounced, “At birth, a man’s identity and entire life is decided. You should recognize reality, know your place, and be happy with what you can obtain. Greed, desire, and lusting after things that don’t belong to you will inevitably end in miserable darkness. This is your greatest original sin, and those that hold this opinion are the root of society’s upheaval. Why do you have the nerve to say this? Perhaps now you can still receive redemption and forgiveness!”

Everyone’s brows wrinkled deeply.

The body double ignored Jia Sha and continued: “If there is an opportunity, I want to become a knight, a lord, and a divine scion knight. Don’t tell me you don’t want these things!”

Everyone’s body and mind quaked.

“If you didn’t want these things, why are you heading to the Wilderness Continent?! This journey and ocean crossing is very risky, why are you going to a place filled with war and hazards?!”

“I am a monster, I have been rejected, but what about you? Don’t tell you none of you have not been excluded, disdained, hated, crushed by big wigs, or cheated in life? Don’t you have dreams that have tormented you?!”

The youngster’s series of rapid questions created absolute silence.

The youngster deeply breathed, slowed down his tone, and deeply said: “We are actually the same.”

“We were born mediocre.” The youngster looked at Bai Ya, causing Bai Ya to blush and look emotional.

“We were rejected and loathed.” The youngster looked at the giant. The giant’s eyelids then trembled a little.

“We were betrayed by a close relative.” The youngster looked at Cang Xu. The old scholar narrowed his eyes.

“We cannot always get impartial treatment.” The youngster looked at the half beastman. The half beastman’s breathing had already become rough and heavy.

“We are also guilty, and incapable of forgiving ourselves." The youngster looked at Lan Zao. Since the youngster had reawakened, Lan Zao had been kneeling down, but now he looked up with hope.

“We were spurred, banished, wanted, and ridiculed by others. So what?”

“Should we not think about it?”

“Should we not do something about it?"

“Reality has already made us suffer, and it is unbearable to have a terrible life. We only want to become better and do better.”

“In fact, we are always trying.”

“We were stranded on this island together and fought together. In order to hunt for food and water, we were poisoned. We struggled in the desert, suffered pursuing beast groups, beat back magic beasts from our camps, trekked a long way, gathered supplies along the way, constructed a new ship in the ravine, and broke through the alchemy factory’s obstructions.”

The youngster paced in front the crowd as he repeated his time with them.

What is our purpose?” The youngster opened his arms and asked.

“We want to survive.”

“But that is an insufficient reason!”

“Far from enough.”

“We also want to live better!”

“I’ve always believed this, and I don’t believe you don’t want this!”

“Shut up, shut up. You are a devil, you are stirring them up with false statements, you are a disgrace. You are too guilty, if your wrongdoing continues, redemption is impossible!” Jia Sha shouted; the youngster’s words had made him extremely angry.

The youngster laughed: “Devil? Yes, I am one!”

He clapped his chest and brazenly admitted it.

Then, he pointed into the crowd and resonated: “But it isn’t just me. Everyone is a devil, a beast!”

“We want to survive, we want to live comfortably, we want abundant food and water, we want the identities and honor of others, we want divine artifacts, and we want overflowing contribution. Therefore, you are also like us Lord Priest!”

In an instant, Jia Sha’s pupils shrank.

The youngster shouted: “On this island, we got lost and were pursued like dying dogs. We collapsed from hard work, with our only hope being the new ship. For countless nights, we have prayed together that the weather would clear tomorrow.”

He continued to stomp his feet and point his finger.

“This is War Merchant’s Mystifying Monster Island. Not only are there artificial magic beasts here, there are also devils and monsters.”

“We seem to have lost our direction in life, but as a matter of fact, our hearts understand how we want to move forward.”

“Everyone, listen to your heart’s voice!” The youngster emotionally slapped his chest, “What do you want in the end? Is it to obediently die here? Do you want to surrender? Do you trust this priest? Like a dog wagging its tail, do you want to beg him for your life? After he swallows all of the contribution, like a master eating everything, will you gnaw on the bone he tosses to you?”

“Bone, this giant doesn’t eat bone, this giant eats meat.” In a daze, the giant opened his eyes. When he woke up, he saw the youngster and everyone else, and for a moment, he didn’t react.

“I don’t have the qualifications to lead you. But I want everyone to listen carefully to their heart, what do you really want?”

“To yield and stop, or to rise vigorously and rebel?”

The crowd was deathly silent.

But this deathly silence was somewhat different from the last one.

As long as one carefully listened, one could hear the people’s beating hearts and coarse breathing.

“Father, you’re still alive!” The giant shouted, and he got up with ecstasy, however because he moved too quickly and was still dizzy, he couldn’t stand up and had to kneel on the ground.

The body double smiled at him, then looked at everyone again.

He didn’t speak again.

He was waiting.

After he waited!

“Master, no matter who you are, you will always be my master!” Lan Zao shouted as he got up.

“You saved my life many times. I want to follow you, your Lordship.” Bai Ya exclaimed.

“Compared to Zhen Jin, I have always believed that you are more fit to be a noble and a knight.” Cang Xu slowly opened his mouth as he wiped his singular lens.

“You are a hero, our hero.” Mu Ban took out a rapid fire crossbow, causing others around him to subconsciously move away.

Zong Ge took a deep breath then deeply said: “In my entire life, this is the most touching speech I have ever listened to. Then let us……fight together one more time”

The giant stood up, and Zong Ge walked over with Tripleblade following closely.

Lan Zao, Cang Xu, Bai Ya……

Everyone came together at last.

In the end, they converged at the youngster side once again.

But this time.

The youngster was no longer Zhen Jin, a templar knight, a noble, or a divine scion knight.

But……a monster! 

Notes

After spending many chapters in denial, 866 finally embraces himself. No longer will he deceive himself into believing he is a man. Instead, he now considers himself a devil, a beast, and a monster, for anything that doesn’t conform to society is considered such. Change is a dangerous thing, for one must step beyond the light of what is known and into the darkness of uncertainty, yet for many, that is the only way to make life better, and to improve beyond one’s birth. In order to achieve infinite things, one must first consider infinite possibilities.