Chapter 46 - All Because Of Me...

In the winter residence,

Irene's pov:

Molly's words made me overwhelmed and it really made me wonder, How come everyone can see through my strong font. Even though I am inside a novel the feelings I feel don't feel it scripted at all, instead, it feels real as if it's my own life without anyone's control over it.

How do I explain it...Does this life feel like my own?

It's not about Lily who was left alone or Irene who wasn't able to stand up for her family. It's about me and only me. Me who has now become Irene.

"Irene Irene!!??" Molly said as she waved her hands infront of me.

"Yes, what were you saying?" I asked her as I looked at her.

" Hah, you are still daydreaming...That must be a good thing." She said as she smiled.

"Hehe, I hope so," I said as I laughed awkwardly.

"Anyway, have you heard about the prince lately?"

She asked me with a serious face.

"Umm, No I haven't..." I said as I looked downwards. I don't know if it's because I spent lots of time with them or because we haven't talked for a while but I miss both the princes a lot....but maybe I am the only one who thinks so.

"I see then did you sent them a letter or something or did you receive one from that side?" She asked me.

"Nope..." I said as I shook my head.

"If things are like this, then the rumours must be true." She said.

"Rumors? What kind of rumours" I asked her.

"Well, it's's just that....people are talking about Lady Carot and His Highness the Crown Prince," Molly said as she shrugged.

"Huh...hat about them?" I asked her as my voice got a little low.

"It's just that people are saying that His highness and Lady Carot have been exchanging letters lately and they are quite friendly~," Molly said as she rolled her eyes dramatically.

Exchanging letters? Friendly? How come did this much happen in such a small amount of time, it's not surprising since they are in the endgame but....still, I don't feel delighted by this sudden news.

Instead, I keep feeling sudden heaviness in my heart and a bit angry too.

Am I being Jealous right now...no it can't be...or maybe it is because I thought I am the only girl/lady friend he has. Yeah that must be the reason, I thought as I tried to calm my heart down

"Hello Earth to Irene~~~," She said as she looked at my face.

"OH yeah sorry for the distraction and I had no idea about these rumours," I said while looking at my palms.

"...plus it's a good thing if His Highness makes some new friends and I bet Lady Carot would e the best match for him when it comes to friendship. After all, he is so kind and lovely." I said as the image of Violet came into my mind.

"Yeah I guess so, Lady Carot is kind so having a friend like her won't harm the prince...but that's not the problem here," Molly said her tone suddenly got serious.

"Huh? Then what's the problem?" I asked her.

"The main problem is your social image, ever since Lady Freya got into accident people have started to have mixed feelings about you and it worsen at the last tea party," Molly said angrily.

"My social image....tea party...I am s about your point." I said with a blank face.

"Irene you already know many people dislike you for the fact that your family has good relations with the royals and you also know what they call you behind your back..." Molly said hesitantly.

"Umm, I know..." I murmured, "....They think I am selfish, arrogant and many more." I said as I giggled.

"Irene... it's not the time to play cool but to take some strong action towards it....and there is one more thing to say," Molly said as she looked at me.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Well, it's about Lady Carot...." She said hesitantly.

"Continue.." I said as I looked at her.

"Umm, I know you like Lady Carot a lot but I think you should keep some distance from her...." Molly said as her eyes frowned and by that, I knew how serious she was.

"But before can you at least tell me why should I do so?" I asked her.

"Because outside....in the social events everyone has been comparing both of you and...I don't want to sit this but.....Lady Carot has an upper hand in it plus..." Molly said as she bit her lower lip.

"Plus???" I said as I looked at her.

"Plus...some rumours have been circulating stating that you bully her....which is why even the crown prince left your side," Molly said in one breath as she closed her eyes.

"What...WHAT!!!" I said not believing my ears.

"Yes these rumours have been going around a lot and many people believe it too..." Molly said as she looked sideways.

"Hah...I bully Lady Carot....what type of nonsense is this...and just from where did such rumours come from???" I murmured in utter confusion, my mind was running all over the place.

But then the original plot of the novel hit me all of a sudden, which made me quiet and numb just in a second.

"Molly...I am sorry to say this but can you leave me alone for today..." I said, but Molly didn't want to.

"Please...." I said as I looked at her with cold eyes. Molly flinched a bit by sudden cold treatment but still, she kept calm and said,

" I understand...then please rest well..." as she quietly exited the room.

I too stood up from my seat and went towards my room, on my way I told all the workers not to disturb me for a while, as I lied to them about taking a rest.

I passed through Ash room and it was closed,

"He must be busy with his studies..." I murmured to myself and went straight towards my room.

I Locked the door and sat down on the cold floor.

Tears rolled down my eyes, I felt as if something was stuck in my throat. My whole body felt cold the emotions inside me were going wild.

"This is how it's going to be..." I murmured as I lied down on the ground.

I laughed like a crazy person, as I thought about what Molly told me just a while ago. I laughed and laughed until those laughs were replaced by heavy tears.

"Hah, I am such a fool...I thought if I save my family everything will be alright.....I thought we would be able to live happily....but...but...that wasn't the case..." I said as I clenched my fists crying silently.

"I thought it all happened because our family went bankrupt.....and Ash Health problems but....that wasn't the reason....the real reason this happened was all because of Irene....it was all because of me...." I said as I punched the ground which made my fists red.

If others heard me saying all this they would think I am mad but this is the truth....that I couldn't even think of.

I was too confident....and reckless.

I thought I could change our ill fate...I thought I could change the ending...I thought that I would be able to live like a normal person with my family.....

"Irene you are such a fool!!!" I said to myself angrily as I threw another punch into the ground.

"This all happened just because of you...JUST BECAUSE OF YOU!!!" I said as I silent screamed and punched the ground st 3 times and I could feel the pain and the blood that flowed down but I didn't care at all. Because at that very moment I wanted to disappear....forever...and ever...

"What do I do now...Ahhhh what do I do...." I said as I cried, even my eyes felt blurry because of the tears.

"In the original novel, Irene was banished because she bullied the Female lead....No one listened to her explanation...No one...Believed her words....everyone stayed quiet as the guilty less Irene was tagged as the Villainess...and that was what lead the winter family to doom...

And today the same thing happened...everyone believed the female lead, whereas I was without any explanation tagged as a cruel and arrogant villainess...." I said as I stood up and went towards the mirror.

My eyes were all red like blood, my hair, clothes everything was a mess."Now I even look like a villainess...." I said as I sat infront of the mirror.

I had absolutely no idea about what I should do...

"Will I be banished again....but I have good relations with the princes..." I said with a little hope in my eyes but they disappeared as soon as I realized the fact that

"....he is the male lead...no matter how close we are, he is still someone who would love the Female lead more than his own life, to that extent that that that theed do anything for her...and to think that he would spare me when he didn't even spare his younger brother.....would be the greatest joke....." I said to myself as I banged my head on the desk.

"There is no way I will be able to save myself...I am trapped..." I said as I looked at the weather outside.

"Thank God it's raining or else I might have died keeping all this in...." I said as I smiled and a tear rolled down my eyes.

"God....why did you even send me here if everything was going to be the same...why...It's not at all fun seeing everyone leave again... it's not fun at all...it's painful.....If I will go through all this again I....might go crazy...I might do it again...." I said as I tried to remember my past life.

The messed up room, with water leaking a faint smell of blood in the air and a girl at the age of 15 lying on the ground unconscious, her hair was black and long, with a thin body and a pale face but what was the most shocking was the deep cut on her left hand from which blood was flowing in a rapid speed.

"That day if my neighbours didn't find me...I would have been long dead..." I said as I looked at my left hand.

After that, some people started pitying me whereas some called me a weirdo, an attention seeker and whatnot...the ones I called friends avoided me...my relatives were all snakes so I didn't even try to contact them and my once called home turned into a lifeless house...

I was her age so I was sent to an orphanage which supplied me with all my necessities...but not for long because s soon as I turned 18, I had to leave the orphanage and start living on my own...which I did, I rented a small apartment with the money I saved for 2 years doing part-time jobs and that was how my stable life continued.....with food, shelter and clothes but still there was suffocation inside me which I felt everyday.....until I somehow reincarnated inside this novel.

I was truly happy to be with my parents even though it was a fiction created by someone, I was happy.... even though I knew my family would be doomed... I was happy...Cuz I had faith in myself....but now I don't have any strength left in me.

Maybe I should just close my eyes and let fate do its work.....I thought as my eyes got heavy and with a loud thud, I collapsed to the ground.

And at that very moment, only one thought running through my mind...."I lost again...."