Ron looked at Zula who is staring at the figurine of two hummingbirds and he repeated: "I hope that you will accept it."
Zula felt the emotions swelling inside her and she was not sure if she will be able to prevent another flood of tears.
She cleared her throat a few times before asking: "Ron, what are you doing?"
"I am telling you that I know I messed up and that I am sorry. You said how I don't know if another flashback will happen, and you are right about it. I can't control that. But I CAN control how I behave when it happens. Now that I am aware of it, I will make sure to stay present and not lose myself."
"What are you expecting me to do?"
"Give me another chance. Don't push me away. I don't expect us to continue from where we were, but I hope that we can start over. Slowly. Until you are confident enough to trust me again."
Zula exhaled. She kept the figurine back in the box and looked at Ron. There is nothing more she wants than to plunge in his embrace and to kiss him until her lips are numb. But she felt how there is a wall between them, preventing her from doing so.
"Zula? Say something, please."
"You hurt me, Ron." Zula said in a half-whisper. "You don't know how it feels when the person you love is pushing you away."
"I do." Ron said with honesty obvious in his voice and she saw in his eyes how desperate he is for her to believe him. "I feel that my heart is being ripped from my chest. Nothing I experienced so far compares to this pain. And I am willing to do anything for you to accept me back into your life. Anything."
Ron took Zula's hand in his and rubbed it gently. "It would be different if you don't love me any more or if you love someone else more than me, but I know that is not the case. All this is my fault and can't live with the knowledge that I messed up something perfect. Please, let me prove to you that I can do better. I need you, Zula. You are the only one who can keep my broken pieces together. Only with you, I feel whole."
Zula exhaled. She can feel Ron's sincerity and his every word is reaching her heart which is aching in a need for his hug. Zula can't deny that she loves him very much. She was angry and hurt and she left, but she didn't think about breaking up with Ron because the pain of not being with Ron is much more than she can bear. And in a way, he is keeping her pieces together as well.
"Both of us are broken." Zula said.
Ron smiled. He took her response as a signal that she will not push him away. "We are a perfect match, don't you think?"
Zula nodded faintly before asking. "So, where do we start?"
"Let's start with food. If we delay further, we risk that Kitty might smell what is going on here and we will be left with no dinner." Ron said jokingly.
They didn't eat much when Kitty made her way toward them through the bushes. She had her dinner, but that does not mean that she can't have a snack.
Kitty was not interested in the salad or the cheeses, but she finished all the meats and spring rolls (with chicken) that were available, while ignoring Ron's scolding and protests.
When Kitty double-checked in the basket that there are no more meats, she left. Just like that.
"Greedy cat…" Ron grumbled. "She finished all the meats!"
Zula looked at Ron's pouty face and laughed. "It's OK. There is still plenty of food left. Look at the bright side, at least she didn't eat us."
Ron enjoyed Zula's cheerful smile and his mood improved significantly.
While working on their food (what was left of it after Kitty's plundering), Ron and Zula spoke about the weather, and Zula praised the juice Ron made, and he fed her grapes, and they gazed into each other's eyes, and the time passed without them noticing.
"Let's pack this…" Zula suggested. "It's getting dark."
Ron helped with keeping the food leftovers back into the basket, but he had no intention of leaving. Not yet.
"Come here…" He patted the spot on the blanket next to him. "I want to show you something."
Zula sat next to him, and she was surprised when Ron pulled her back to lay down.
She looked at Ron questionably for a second before her attention was drawn toward numerous fairy lights that lit up the trees all around them.
"It looks like magic." Zula said with a big smile on her face.
"The only things magical here are you and how you make me feel." Ron responded dreamily.
Zula smiled and reached for Ron's hand. They laid on the blanket next to each other in silence, with their fingers interlaced. And just when Zula thought that it can't get better than this, soft music drifted their way from somewhere.
Zula looked at Ron and met his eyes which smiled at her.
He got on his knees and extended his hand, palm up, toward her. "Can I have this dance, my lovely lady?"
Zula put her hand into his, silently accepting the invitation.
Ron and Zula slow danced on the grass, illuminated by the fairy lights which dangled from the nearby trees and Ron knew that Zula is enjoying based on her slightly dazed expression. He saw the sparkles in her eyes that are present whenever she is looking at him and his heart was full.
Ron is aware that this is only the first step in regaining her trust, but he is happy to know that it's the right one.
…
Later that evening…
Zula is tossing and turning in her bed, unable to sleep.
She remembered that when they returned from their forest-picnic-dinner, Ron walked with Zula to her room and kissed her cheek before wishing her goodnight.
At that time, Zula kept the flowers and the box with the crystal figurine on the desk and got ready to sleep, unaware of how much she will be impacted by Ron's absence.
The last two nights she slept in Ron's embrace. And it was only two nights, but people get used to good things quickly.
Back to the present…
Zula exhaled in frustration and got her phone. She gives up.
She texted Ron: "I miss you."
Two seconds later, she got a response: "Same here."
Zula hesitated before texting: "Can I come to your room?"
Her phone flashed with a response: "I'm not in my room."
Zula frowned. Where could he be? It's after 11 PM!
"Where are you?" Zula sent the text without much thinking.
As soon as she tapped 'SEND', she regretted it. Why is she bossy and nosy?
She typed swiftly: "You don't need to answer if you…"
She didn't finish her text when she got a response: "The apartment."
Zula's curiosity bubbled and she dialed Ron. She needs to talk to him.
"How come you are in the apartment? Didn't you tell Sarah and Aiden that we don't need it? Or did you decide to be there on your own?"
Ron exhaled. "I decided to stay here with the hope that you will change your mind. Someday." After a few seconds of silence, Ron added: "I am not pressuring you into anything. I only wanted you to know that I am here and waiting for you. Whenever you are ready. As long as it takes. I will be here."
Ron heard some shuffling and then the line was cut off. Now what? He exhaled and plopped back on the bed.
Ron hugged a pillow and thought how everything in life is fragile.
He and Zula spent six months building their relationship which started with Sarah and Aiden matching them for a mission where they needed to pretend to be a couple, and that evening he stole two kisses and they danced and he realized that Zula is an amazing girl who helped him stand up to his stepmother without questions asked. And since then, the two of them danced numerous times and held each other and kissed and went on missions and dates and all that nearly-collapsed because of a moment when he gave in to his fears. Really, relationships are a lot of work. But with Zula… it's worth it.
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