Chapter 9.3

I swept my gaze over my surroundings.

“So that means this is a crime-ridden district. No one’s even thinking about calling the guards even when there’s this much commotion.”

“Go back inside.”

In the middle of everything that was going on, Sieger pointed to his house. I had thought he would tell me to scram.

Suddenly, Sieger touched the back of his hand to my cheek through the curtain.

“I knew it. Are you aware of the condition you’re in?”

“Oh, I’m only saying this because you brought it up, but are you aware that you’re speaking informally to me?”

“…So?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Right, well, I wasn’t planning on picking a fight with you over it.”

“Hey? Hello? Wow, I’m not the type of person who usually gets ignored like this.”

I spun around to face Hillakin.

“Are you feeling on edge?”

“What?”

“No matter how far this place is from the capital, how dare you, and to a knight? You’ve either been brainless since you were born, or you lost your mind for a second there because you were so on edge.”

“What?”

“I can’t imagine that loan sharking is your primary business.”

“…”

Since he’d mentioned important customers, it was probably a brothel that catered to nobles. Usually, the VIP customers were the ones who funded places like that. And I could think of only one person in the capital who could possibly be their top VIP.

“Oh, I see.”

I clapped my hands together.

“You’re almost out of the money he gave you!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking-.”

“You mean, you have every idea what I’m talking about?”

“…”

“Should I make a guess?”

“Who are you-.”

“It’s Dominat, right?”

“…”

“You were so talkative just a moment ago, but you’ve suddenly gone quiet. Can I take your silence to mean that I’m right?”

“…”

“Alright, thanks. I take it that you all heard the news. That man can’t afford to fund you anymore. Not ever again.”

“Not ever again?”

Sieger mumbled, dumbfoundedly.

“…”

“But what I’d like to know is, how much did you spend here?”

“…”

HIllakin’s expression changed. His eyes filled with venom, then he glanced at the men surrounding us.

Sieger let out a sigh and took a step back. He put one hand on his sword and urged the girl to stand closer to me.

“You probably know that it’s a lost cause trying to get your money back from the people here. How are you planning on making your money back? It couldn’t be… have you borrowed money too?”

Bulls-eye. Before the men could rush at us, Sieger’s blade was already at Hillakin’s throat. Sieger flicked his eyes, and Hillakin put up a hand. The men retreated.

“You shouldn’t start something you won’t be able to handle. Don’t you even know that basic principle? And that’s doubly true if you’re doing it with someone else’s money.”

“…”

“Of course, I don’t hate stupid men like you. Actually, I rather like men like you.”

Sieger shot me a look of incredulity. I gestured with my chin. Looking uncomfortable, Sieger kicked Hillakin’s knee, causing him to kneel.

I walked in front of Hillakin and squatted on the ground. I looked him in the eyes. And then I smiled.

“”You’re not entirely wrong. You can’t win against someone who has nothing to lose. Even if this man killed you right here, there’s no guarantee that all the people here would be safe. That’s why he can’t win against you.”

Sieger looked down at me. Our eyes met and I smiled at him. I didn’t know if he saw it though. I found what I was looking for in my pocket. I grabbed a handful and dropped them on the ground in front of Hillakin.

They were jewels the size of fingernails. I rested my elbows on my knees and put my chin on my hands.

“But I’m different.”

I gave him a wide smile.

“Why… Aren’t you and this manwhore on the same side?”

Despite not being able to take his eyes off of the jewels in his hand, the bastard wasn’t letting anything pass him by.

“Manwhore?”

I grabbed Hillakin by the collar and pulled him to me roughly. When our noses were almost touching, I tightened my grip.

The sound of Hillakin’s breathing was harsh like he couldn’t quite get in enough air. Seeing him up close like this, I could see his dark blue eyes clearly. He probably saw me too.

“You don’t have a choice.”

“…”

“Go and make your report.”

“To whom…”

When I tightened my grip on his collar again, Hillakin quickly changed his tune.

“What would you like me to say?”

“That I’m going to devour everything. Down to the last morsel. So set the table.”

I straightened and let out an easy laugh.

“Because I have as much money as you could ask for.”

The mess was cleaned up quickly. After the men retreated, the alleyway became desolate, with very few people left.

Finally, the middle-aged man left with his daughter, his son on his back. I noticed that while he was thanking Sieger over and over again, he couldn’t stop glancing at me. I already knew that there were no words to describe the state I was in.

And then we were the only ones left.

I suddenly collapsed to the ground.

Sieger simply took my arm and helped me up like he wasn’t even surprised. I wobbled as I got up. My legs buckled several times.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

I lost my balance and my head rammed into Sieger’s chest. My body wasn’t listening to me.

I gripped his shoulders and felt him brace himself to take my weight. But his words weren’t so gentle.

“What’s wrong with you? When you’re basically on the verge of death? Unbelievable.”

He gripped my arms and righted me. I was forced to meet his eyes. I furrowed my brows and mumbled,

“I’m sick?”

“Do you not remember fainting?”

I remembered. But I was walking and talking just fine right up until a moment ago.

“…Let go.”

“You’ll fall if I let go.”

“Still, let go.”

He let go. I teetered, staggering backward until my back hit a wall.

I looked down at my palms, and saw that my fingers were shaking. It was hard to believe, even when it was happening right in front of my eyes.

“There’s no way you would be okay after pushing yourself like that.”

“I was pushing myself?”

All I did was take a few steps out of the house. Looking at it that way, it really did seem like I was on the verge of death.

It wasn’t my real body anyway. I didn’t even want to bother myself about it. What did it matter if I was being unnecessarily stubborn?

I let out a laugh, and Sieger clicked his tongue. Then he gritted his teeth. His expression changed and he stalked over to me. His shadow loomed over me.

“What is this?”

“What are you talking about?”

Familiar black hair and unfamiliar yellow eyes that were fixed on me. It felt like all of his past sorrows were contained within the distrustful look in his eyes and the stubborn line of his mouth. And it felt like he was pouring them onto me.

“What are you?”

“…”

He gripped my arm as I swayed, and shouted in a strained voice,

“What are you!”

“What am I?”

I felt hollow. My shoulders shook with laughter as I buried my face in my hands.

“You’re laughing? Are my words a joke to you? Am I that laughable?”

When I lifted my head, he was looking at me with a miserable expression on his face, like someone who had been driven into a corner.

This wasn’t fun.

“…Stop. Let’s stop this.”

“What! Stop what exactly? I need to know. Who are you, and why-”

“I don’t know!”

I shrieked, cutting him off mid-sentence. I closed my eyes and opened them with difficulty.

“What?”

“I don’t know either.”

We glared at each other.

“Don’t joke with me.”

“Do you think I just said that to make you laugh?”

I grabbed a handful of the fabric and yanked the hat off my head, throwing it to the side.

“What more do you want me to explain? Ah, did you want me to thank you for saving my life? Is that why you’re acting like this? Is there something you want? Money? A title? Just give the word. I’m the princess, I can do that much for you. Are you satisfied now?”

“…”

“…”

“You’re really…”

He let go of my arm and took a step backward. He looked fed up.

“…the worst.”

“…It’s not like you didn’t know.”

“Don’t get involved with the situation here.”

“Why should I listen to you?”

Do you not need me either?

“You said to tell you what I wanted. This has nothing to do with you, so don’t get involved. With the situation here!”

“Get it right. What would you have done if I didn’t help just now?”

“I’m saying I don’t need your help.”

Heaving, we glared at each other in silence. My vision kept going blurry, but I didn’t want to lose to him. Whenever my vision wavered, I clenched my fist behind my back.

“…And what if I don’t want to?”

“What?”

“You can’t take care of this by yourself. Do you have money? Do you have the power to handle things here?”

“You really… don’t speak like that.”

“I’m saying I’ll help, so what’s the problem?”

“You! You’re the problem!”

“…”

As soon as I heard that, I was lost for words.

Yeah, that’s right. I’m the problem. Every problem led back to me. Would everything end if I died?

Angry tears threatened to spill out, and my lower lip trembled. I pressed my lips together. My fist shook.

Sieger ruffled his hair and let out a sigh.

“I can’t understand you.”

I spun around. I started walking, using the wall to support myself. The ground was muddy and my ankle kept giving way, but I didn’t stop. One step, two steps…

When he grabbed my arm, I jerked it away. The movement caused me to stumble, and my back hit the wall. But I was still standing. I glared at him.

He looked like he had something to say, but like he was debating with himself on whether to say it aloud. Like the words in his mouth tasted bitter. Finally, he said,

“Do you have somewhere to go?”

“What’s it to you? Didn’t you just tell me to go?”

“If you’re gonna die, don’t cause trouble for other people while you’re doing it.”

“I get it, so get lost.”

“…”

“I said, get lost.”

“The princess I know…”

I turned my head.

“Shut up.”

“…isn’t this unreasonable.”

“I said, shut up.”

“I’m not sure exactly, but at least that’s what it seemed like when you said you’d receive your punishment.”

“…”

“And because I saw you that day, I was disappointed when I found you outside the tower.”

“…So what.”

He sighed. The longer he talked, the more miserable I felt. Because it was clicking how futile and pathetic all of my efforts had been.

“You’re saying that’s me? How is that me!”

“Look here.”

I grabbed his collar.

“What do you even know? You think you know who I am?”

He yanked my arm toward him. When our noses were almost touching, he said,

“Considering that I found someone who was supposed to be locked in the tower trying to ride a horse out of the capital wearing nothing but her loungewear and burning up with fever, nigh on the verge of death…”

“…”

“…don’t I have the right to an explanation?”

“The right? Who do you think you are?”

“If you have a reason, tell me so I don’t have to be disappointed in you!”

I pulled my arm out of his grip and replied,

“I have nothing to say.”

It was hard to maintain eye contact. I wanted to look away. To look away from those oblivious eyes that kept trying to peer into me when I was ruined and falling apart.

“You said you’d let yourself be punished. You lied to the entire world and now you’re back to your old ways.”

His voice was unemotional and calm. And it was more like a knife now than it had ever been before.

“Say you’ve fooled everyone, through lies, through hypocrisy.”

“…”

He paused. A vein bulged from his neck. He spoke in a low voice.

“But what about me?”

“…”

“I saw you here, so what about me?”

“So what, should I get on my knees? Beg for forgiveness? Is that what you want?”

“What?”

“Or, do you want to play around with me the same way I did with you?”

“…”

Sieger was quiet. I glared at him, but he just stared at me with eyes that were full of some indescribable emotion. For some reason, his reaction made me want to lash out. I sneered,

“Why? Did I hit the mark?”

He clenched his jaw. Before I knew it, his arm was around my waist and his hand, on the wall.

“You’re right.”

“…”

“That’s not a bad idea. Who else in the world has the chance to use you like that?”

I laughed. And then I pushed him away with all of my might.

He stumbled backward until his back was against the opposite wall. Gripping his shoulders, I took a deep breath. It was hard to breathe. He looked down at me without a word.

“How long do you think I’m going to tolerate you?”

“As long as I keep your secret.”

“I don’t care if you let the whole world know.”

“Then why can’t you go back?”

“I never said I couldn’t go back.”

“I’ve been wondering.”

“…”

“How much can you take before you crack, how long are you going to stay hidden behind that mask?”

“If that’s what you want, fine.”

Fine, if that was all… I would amuse him with this dying body.

I grabbed his collar and yanked him toward me. I wrapped one arm around his neck and lifted my chin. Our eyes locked, mere inches apart.

“So shut up. Understand?”

The moment that our noses passed each other and our lips touched, his body tensed and his arms wrapped around me. His lips against mine were cold.

And then… then, there was darkness.