Chapter 131 - No One's Perfect

Narukami was oblivious to what was going on in the outside world. He was entirely focused on concocting the potion.

Timing and focus were needed here. If Narukami missed the timing, either by putting in the ingredient a bit faster or a bit late, it would fail!

He was nervous as his hand was slightly shaking but he managed to calm his hand.

The last ingredient was the Eyes of Scepter. He put it into the cauldron as the content changed its color. From red liquid to golden.

It also let out a good smell and it was pleasant.

Narukami did not hesitate as he poured the content into a small bottle. It looked a lot but when it was stored into this.

The entire cauldron was emptied.

Enough to concoct a bottle huh? Narukami said to himself.

He then gulped the entire bottle. Refreshing feeling in his throat and stomach. The energy quickly spread out to his entire body.

Narukami felt incredible pain as he collapsed to the ground.

Crazy ravings were spammed in his head. His thoughts turned sluggish as he gradually lost his logic and slowly succumbed to madness.

The crazy ravings were the main suspect. It intensified to the point he felt like he was in a concert with thousands of people shouting at him.

Narukami can withstand it thanks to his tough mental fortitude. He had been many things in his past lives after all. Something like this was a trivial matter.

However, there was one that made him lose his mind.

With his mind turned sluggish, his mental fortitude gradually crumbled. He could not differentiate between reality or not.

Because of this, his vision was replaced by the view of a mountain. This was an illusion but Narukami felt this was real.

He even forgot the situation he was in.

"Daddy, you're back!" A child's voice came behind him. Narukami turned his head as he saw a cute boy running to him and embracing his legs.

This was one of Narukami's past lives where he successfully fulfilled his ambition and settled down.

He married an ordinary commoner and had an ordinary and happy life until his death.

Seeing the smile on the boy's face, Narukami's expression turned soft. He gently stroked the boy's hair.

"What is that?" The boy lifted his eyes and saw a turkey with its eyes closed on Narukami's shoulder.

He grabbed its neck as he showed it to his son.

"We'll be eating a delicious meal tonight." Narukami brightly smiled.

"Yay! My favorite!" The boy said passionately with a wide smile.

"Honey, welcome back." A woman's voice entered his ears. Narukami retracted his gaze from the boy to the source.

She was beautiful in terms of an ordinary commoner but her personality was more precious than any beauty out there.

Narukami remembered vividly who she was. She was his wife in this life.

Her gentle and soft smile never faded away. With her kindness and her care for the person she loved, Narukami felt warmth in his heart.

"Yeah, I'm back. That aside, did I not tell you to not talk to me politely? We're married after all." Narukami frowned.

His wife shook her head, "You're a legendary figure in this world and someone who saved it. Even the richest and powerful immortal has to lower their heads before you, let alone I, a commoner."

"You're worrying too much. I don't care about that." Narukami approached her and hugged her.

This warm sensation of her body, this pleasant scent, all of these are not real yet, it feels too real. Narukami said to himself as his expression turned gloomy.

"Daddy? What's wrong?" The boy noticed his expression and asked worriedly.

Narukami snapped his daze and smiled, "Nothing, let's have dinner together! All of us!"

Narukami let go of his wife and crouched down as he carried his son on his shoulders.

"Un!" The boy nodded excitedly.

Then, the scene changed. He saw three people's backs. One was a small boy on top of a man, one was a woman next to the man and then the man.

This was what he experienced earlier but this time, he looked at it from the point of view of an outsider.

"It's been a long time since you haven't felt something like this, right? Why don't you just stay with them?" A voice similar to his sounded in the air.

Narukami turned his head to the left and right as he was searching for the source but could not find it.

"Who are you?" Narukami pondered.

"I'm you. I am the desire you want the most. How long are you going to resist your desire? It's been many years since you fulfilled this desire and I know more than anyone else, you want this more than anything in the world."

Narukami did not say anything and the voice continued, "You desire to live peacefully, like an ordinary person but He loves to take it away from you.

"You are always born in an environment where the strong prey on the weak. You have no choice but to get stronger.

"But after you reach this point. Many people became aware of your existence and are afraid that you will take their position, thus making an enemy out of you.

"This continues until you reach the top of the world. Now, as the apex of the world. You can live peacefully but as you're about to do it. He took your lives and reincarnated you into another world.

"This happens five times. Tell me, are you not sick of it? Becoming a puppet of a boring god? A puppet that never gets rusty and broken? You'll be that way in millions of years." The scene changed to Narukami in his dying moments before got reincarnated.

Almost all of his dying moments were sorrowful. He either died without anyone he knew and cared about surrounding him or died without anyone knowing about it.

Simply put, he died alone.

Even if he had friends. Their age was far shorter compared to him.

"There's no guarantee that this word will be your last. He is a god, He can do anything while you're just a puppet," the voice mocked.

"You have freedom? No, all of your freedom was taken by Him the moment you reincarnated for the first time. If you think you have freedom in your life. He successfully deceives and manipulates you."

Narukami's eyes lost their luster as the voice successfully reached his heart.

What the voice said made sense and had its logic. Narukami had no way to deny it.

His goal was to get his memories back before he got reincarnated for the first time but the process was extremely painful and agonizing.

He went through many things. He should get used to anything in life, or so he thought.

Deep inside, he was still a human with emotions. In the depths of his heart, he was unsatisfied with life.

He would never truly be content in this world.

"This world is designed to break your heart, just give up and live with them for eternity. You don't have to worry about anything," The voice said in persuasion.

Narukami slightly nodded as he smiled but his eyes were dead.

He took a step forward towards the 'him' in front of him, planning to be in his position.

Living peacefully with someone I loved and cared for. With a family I cared a lot, is not a bad idea, Narukami convinced himself as he felt this was the right thing to do 

As if reading his mind, the voice said, "Yes, indeed. Compared to the outside world where you have to struggle for happiness. Here, you can get it instantly without a struggle. No one will disturb you."

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In a completely white space, someone was sitting on a throne. He was watching a floating scene.

It was the scene where Narukami was walking to his illusion family, to seek an eternity of happiness.

He closed His eyes, "so this is it? Nice knowing you, old friend."

He was the god which reincarnated Narukami five times. He was the strongest god of all dimensions and time, but he was weaker than His boss.

Above His boss, there was no other God. His boss only, He knew this as he had seen the truth.

Anyway, He was the only being who knew Narukami and had watched him go through many things in life.

They have known each other for a long time so it wasn't strange He would call Narukami His old friend.

But when Narukami gave up at this stage, He was slightly disappointed but not that sad.

Just as He was about to close the floating scene, something changed!

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"Shinra! Shinra!" A faint voice rang out from somewhere.

Narukami halted his steps.

"Why are you stopping? You only need a few steps and an eternity of peace will be yours," The voice said.

"Shinra! I don't know what is going on but do not give up! Are you seriously going to let everything you've done up until now go to waste?" The voice asked and as if it hit the spot, the luster in Narukami's eyes flickered before it vanished.

"I know what you've been going through from Bahamut! He had an ability to see someone else's past life and you're an extremely amazing person in your past life!

"How could that person in that life easily give up?!" The voice was indeed Ryu.