Chapter 429 – Professional Flopping

I reached out and blocked the way: “Sorry, the washroom is under maintenance, please go use the one on the second floor.”

The young security guard rolled his eyes at me.

Ever since his uncle, the old security guard, introduced him to become the young security guard, he gradually turned from a trembling novice into a veteran. Although he has heard of my notoriety from others, but after thinking about it, he felt that if the urban management officers aren’t afraid of peddlers, then there is no reason for security guards to be afraid of students. Plus, he had just found a way to make money catching people in the act. Whoever prevented him from making money would be considered as going against him.

“Huh, washroom maintenance. If that’s the case, where’s the maintenance sign.”

The young security guard asked as he adjusted his cap.

“The maintenance sign…. I’m the maintenance sign.”

I said as I straightened my back to imply: Stop looking for trouble when you’re so thin and frail.

The young security guard got scared and stepped back, but then he reconsidered it and walked forward again.

“Tsk, I know who you are, you’re Ye Lin, right? I was the one who let you in last time when you were late and got locked outside along with a female classmate of yours.”

He was referring to the time when Xiao Qin and I were late to school once, it was ancient history.

“The teachers may be afraid of you, but not me.” He then pointed towards the ceiling, “Do you see that?”

I didn’t fall for it, “Are you going to say it’s an UFO and run into the washroom while I’m preoccupied? I’m not that stupid.”

The security guard stamped his foot and said, “Why would there be an UFO indoors, I’m telling you to look at the security camera.”

I looked towards the direction he pointed at and saw a black round security camera.

“Do you see it?” The young security guard tried his best to make a nasty smirk, but I thought he only looked foolish, “It’s my job to maintain order in school as a security guard. If you’re going to stop me from going into the washroom to make money… I mean, no, to do inspections, then you would be hindering normal school operations. If you hit me, I’ll immediately drop to the floor.”

I can’t believe he said something so embarrassing out loud. His shamelessness would be equivalent to the flops you see in FIFA.

“Hmph, I was only a part time worker a month ago, but not anymore. It doesn’t matter how capable you are, if you push me down in front of the camera, you could be expelled.”

Ever since the couple he caught clapping cheeks was expelled, he became deluded and believed he had the ability to expel students.

And please don’t you ‘push me down’, I think those words also have another meaning! If I actually pushed you down in that other sense and it was caught on camera, then I really would be expelled. I don’t think you would even have the face to continue working at the school.

The security guard then decided to charge into the washroom. He probably thought he would definitely catch a couple in the act and I was there because they hired me to block the door.

What’s up with that logic? If they had money to hire a guard, then they would have just went to a hotel. There are a ton of hourly hotel rooms behind the food stall street, apparently they don’t even ask for ID if you pay upfront.

I thought about it and made my decision. I purposely stepped in front of the guard and slightly bumped his shoulder with my chest.

I bumped into him lightly, but the guard’s body leaned back as he prepared to flop.

Who would have expected there would always be someone better than you. Before he finished his flop, I shrieked as I flailed my limbs into the sky and fell hard onto the floor.

That’s right, it was the flop I learned from Grandpa Ren.

I fell naturally and it looks like a hard fall, but I actually used Hua Jin to cushion the impact with my muscles and only lost 2 hp out of 999.

The security guard turned pale with fright. He only wanted to earn a couple of extra bucks, but he actually hit a student to the ground and it was all caught on camera.

“Are… you okay…” The security guard trembled as he reached out to try and support me up.

I sneaked a glance at his deathly pale face as I snickered inside my head. I twisted my head at a weird angle, rolled my eyes, and dangled my tongue outside my mouth to show I couldn’t be saved anymore.

The guard panicked, “What should I do, it wasn’t on purpose.”

He raised his head and spoke to the camera as if the camera was the principal.

He reached over under my nostrils to check my breath. I purposely held my breath and he began trembling even harder.

“They all say you’re the ruler of the school who gets involved with the mafia… how can you be so frail.” The guard sobbed, then his eyes opened with determination, “I can’t give up. I have to give him CPR.”

Shit, don’t come over here, I don’t want to kiss a man. I quickly opened my eyes and saw the guard heading towards me with his lips puckered and his eyes closed.

I grabbed onto his face and tossed him aside. I used enough force that I thought I had finally understood how to use Fa Jin.

The security guard rolled and rolled until he stopped at the foot of a wall.

“Why are you pretending to be dead if you’re fine? I almost got scared to death. I’m only twenty and still unmarried…”

I sat up and curiously looked at the shadow behind the security guard.

It turns out Xiong YaoYue had already quietly came out of the washroom while I was struggling with the guard. She mischievously walked behind the security guard while he was not paying attention, and suddenly pulled the his collar from behind and lifted his wide uniform above his head.

The guard screamed out ‘someone’s assaulting an officer’ as he flailed around randomly. Xiong YaoYue took this chance to pull me up and run away together.

Xiong YaoYue might have a bad memory, but she didn’t forget to bring along the snacks I bought her as we headed downstairs.

“Now I’m someone who’s used the men’s washroom.” Xiong YaoYue bragged to me as she sat on a window sill on the second floor while eating the sausage bread, “I’m probably the only girl who has that achievement in our class, haha it’s my win again.”

I’m sorry to inform you, but Xiao Qin always used the men’s washroom when she pretended to be a boy. In terms of either time or volume, you would be in second place.

After demolishing her lunch and drinking half of the drink. She passed me the rest and asked if I wanted it.

How insensitive, doesn’t she care about indirect kisses? You don’t even care about what you were going to do in the bottle, well I can’t drink it that’s for sure.

Xiong YaoYue stared out the window towards the people running around on the field.

“It would be nice to have a boyfriend…”

“Huh?”

“If I had a boyfriend, he would treat me to food and I don’t have to do the same. I could also ask him to help me finish my homework. I think it would be pretty worth it.”

“Are you looking for a boyfriend or a worker? I don’t think anyone would be willing to be your boyfriend if all they do is feed you and write your homework.”

“I guess that’s true.” Xiong YaoYue hopped off the window sill and stretched with her arms raised towards the sky.

“I’m going to apologize to Gong CaiCai. If she forgives me, then I don’t have to change my sex.”

Later, I heard that Xiong YaoYue prostrated herself in the infirmary in front of Gong CaiCai, the class leader, and the school doctor. She said if Gong CaiCai didn’t forgive her, then she would stay on the ground.

The class leader helped Gong CaiCai sit up as Gong CaiCai spoke:

“As… long as you never lock me in a tight space again. I… forgive you…”

“I promise I’ll never do it again. If you were locked in a tight space by someone, I’ll be the first to save you.”

“Okay… then that’s fine. Thank you.”

She clearly tortured her yet Gong CaiCai quickly forgave Xiong YaoYue after she said some empty words.

“You can’t forgive her that easily.” The class leader said, “Cai Cai, don’t let Xiong YaoYue copy your homework next week. I mean, you shouldn’t be doing it, let her do it herself.”

“Then… I’m not going to let you copy my homework…” Gong CaiCai still had no confidence even when the class leader was there to support her.

“Okay, then I will reflect next week and not copy your homework.”, then she muttered: “I’m not sure if I could find a boyfriend in time…”

At 4:10 pm, we began to draw lots for the boy’s basketball tournament and the girl’s volleyball tournament at the PE office. Xiong YaoYue and I attended as class 2-3’s PE committee members. The other ones who attended were the captains of the basketball and volleyball teams.

Shen ShaoYi, who attended as the leader of class 2-2’s team glared at me with a fiery gaze.

But when he saw Xiong YaoYue walk in with me, he turned away in grief as he didn’t want her to see his expression.

Shen ShaoYi must have wanted to go against class 2-3 in the first game, so he could completely destroy us to vent his anger.