26 Murder I : Advancement, Asking For Help

I guess in the end,you never really know someone until they open up to you. Xaseah has not had an easy life that's for sure, but from what I can see, she has turned out okay. As one of those few people who would never let what they had experienced in life weigh them down. A true warrior in a way that swords and guns could never describe.

I think this was the part where I share my own story. And from the look in her eyes, she was very expectant. But what could I say, what did I know of my own story...nothing, absolutely nothing. It was just one huge chasm of darkness and random words and expressions.

What I had to tell, was something I actually found difficult to share with her, my life so far has been a little bit exciting, I've had a few choice encounters if I do say so myself, but it was hard for me to say anything.I was scared, because opening up to her felt like a commitment, a commitment meantshowing everything, even my weakness and worst of all my darkness.

It might not have been that complicated, but that's what I felt at the moment, that was how scared I was of something I've never experienced. Strange, I seem to be changing and I didn't know what to do about it. Xaseah sighed in exasperation, then she said to me.

"Something is holding you back, and I know you find it hard to trust me. Mainly because of how much you want too. It only proves one thing to me, and that's the fact that you're scared of everything here. But if you keep being scared, there's no way you would be able to grow. So when you're ready, just know that I'll be there to carry your trust for you, the pit is not always dark."

She might be right, but I was weak. And the fact that I was not ready to trust was an obvious fact.

They might know my secrets now, but not everything. The cart made its way towards the entrance of the pit, and we arrivedin due time. I was still getting strange looks, and I was very conscious about it. But I think I understood that there was nothing I could do about it, the mind and the heart of people who have free will, are easily swayed by the sights that fall under their gaze.

They judge by what they see, and once they have a story they believe is true, the truth becomes nothing more than a lie, or an embellishment. I ignored everyone as I made my way to the mine, I did not even return the bows sent my way, which was quite rude of me, but I didn't care....at least for now.

Xaseah followed like a silent shadow, keeping a little distance between us both, close enough to hear me talk and lend her help if required, and far enough that I was not so uncomfortable in my own skin by our close proximity.When we got to my allocated area in the mine, it didn't take me much processing power to know that the site had been temperedwith.

Apart from the few dozen footprints and the enlarged hole in the wall, I knew I had attracted attention I was not supposed to.

And I had no idea who that was, but the fact that I might have an enemy in the shadows did not shake me, it was as if I had expected this to happen sooner rather than later. It was a huge problem for me, but I will deal with it after I'm done here. If I worry about every single stone that gets upturned in my path, then there's no way I will ever get to have any semblance of a life in this place.

My goal was to train my mental energy. That and to find out the extent of this mountains enchantment. It was reminiscent of the way a weaver suffers from a backlash every time a weave was made.

In the case of the mountain, it hits back with a force equal to what it had been struck with. It's good for tempering the body and the mind, as the mountain attacks back by releasing some sort of formless pressure that attacks from the inside of person's body, rather than the outside.

I raised my new mining pick to strike at the mountain, but I hesitated. I was not surprised,no one reply liked pain, and the fact that I was going to inflict pain on myself in the name of training was nothing short of insane. I didn't like getting hurt,and that was because...….….well because it hurt.

But there was no turning back from this, not to mention Xaseah was right behind me. Complicated matters aside,no man would want to look weak in front of a beautiful woman, and I'm definitely no exception to that rule.

I swung my pick down, and almost immediately the pressure bombarded my body, forcing me to take almost ten steps back.

Okay, point to self, maybe I should swing the pick a little less harder.

I had to try and acclimate my self to the force that's rebounded from a hit that's a little less hard, before I jump to a higher hit. At this rate, if I swung harder, I might end up dead, I can't be lucky everyday. I turned to look at Xaseah who just sat there and said nothing.I felt angry, and I saw her face twist in confusion at my sudden bout of anger.

I didn't pay attention to her, and turned to strike at the mountain again, my previous plan of taking it slow completely forgotten in the wake of my anger. This time the pressure threw me off my feet, and I crashed to the ground in abloodied heap.

My head was ringing, and my vision was a little blurry, but I knew that as long as I could still breathe and I could move, I will keep hitting that mountain until I got what I wanted. I shakily got back up to my feet, and was about you to go charging at that mountain before I felt Xaseah touch my shoulder, and just like that, all my anger drained out of me, and with it my strength.

"Is your will so damn weak, or is that you're really ruled by your emotions?" Xaseah asked as she cradled my weak body to hers.

To be honest I had no idea how to answer that question. Because I really didn't know. I now understood where my anger was coming from, it was from the enchantment on the mountain, but I was sure it was not all to blame.

From what I can see this mountain is incapable of creating emotions, it only takes the anger in your heart and amplify it to the point of unreasonable rage. And with each hit you put on that mountain, the anger gets stronger and stronger, and along with it,the pressure. The pressure will temper the body and the mind, but the anger tempers the heart. Who ever made this enchantment was a fucking sadist, or a masochist, depending on why it was made.

"Maybe we should go back, you already reached your limit." Xaseah said behind me with a soft tone.

To be honest hearing her acknowledge my weakness out loud kind off pissed me off. I wanted to be strong, and I knew how weak I was. Which was why I came here in the first place. But to hear someone else acknowledge that weakness,....it hurt. And with that pain came a pride that would most definitely get me killed sometime later in the future.

"No!I will try it one more time." I answered back with as much force as I can muster.

"But you're….." Xaseah tried to protest, but this was an argument I was not going to let her win.

"I can do this!...if you help me."

I think I realized something at that moment. It was not my intention to ask for help, in fact I don't think asking for help was a thing I knew how to do even before I lost my memories. I wanted to do it alone, I felt like I can do it alone.

And it was probably what got me into this prison with my memories gone. Let me be honest, asking for help, was like drinking a cup of sand filled with bleach. It was not a pleasant experience and I hope not to experience it again. But like I said I realized something, asking for help was not a weakness, it's the failure or lack of courage to do so that's a weakness.

Deep within me, I felt it without a doubt, that I did it all alone, I fought my previous battle against the whole world, and I lost. Because I was alone and couldn't ask for help. I am not going to repeat my mistakes, and I'm not going to fail. Xaseah looked at me, with surprise written all over her face.

I don't think she expected that I would have asked her for help, and even if I was going to do so, she did not expect I was going to do it with such solemnness. But what can I say, there's something about being beaten and bloodied by a giant chunk of rock that just seems to humble a man, you should try it sometime.

She nodded her head,and moved with me towards the mine, she was right behind me, and her hands covered mine as we both held the pick together. We raised it up together, and brought it down.

"TINK!"

The pick impacted the mountain with a soft sound, and as expected the rebound was released. And it was almost negligible with me and Xaseah sharing it. We raised the pick, and hit the mountain, this time a little harder, and the pressure shook both our bodies, but there was no damage, and no pain.

We shared the weight and with that we got into a tempo we could manage. The anger was there, it was like a bubbling lake of fire in both our minds, and we were standing at the edge of a precipice about to fall into it. But the [Údāmá] helped us.With our bond we kept each other grounded, connected and able to withstand the anger from consuming us. And that was how we carried on for hours, hitting that mountain in a monotonous yet rhythmic fashion.

And with each hit,the red circle in my mind's tree glowed brighter and brighter. It's luster became a darker shade of red, feeling the void of nothingness that was my mind. It's pulsing was like a heart beat, but it beat along with the sound the pick made as we hit it against the mountain. And it was that way until suddenly the second ring lit up. The second circle of the open mind realm.

My heart thumped and I felt the pressure reduce drastically, we were not hitting the mountain really hard in the first place, it could be said we were delivering really soft taps to it's structure, yet we both had to share the brunt of the entire thing. But now, the entire pressure just felt….....….dull. Xaseah felt it too, just as there was a change within my mind, there was also a change in her mind, though I couldn't be sure what, but we both could feel a change.

"Xaseah are you okay?" I asked, and to be truthful I was surprised I did. I had made it a point to not show any sort of interest or concern for Xaseah ever since the bond between the two of us was created.

"Yeah I'm okay.Should we continue?" She asked with a smile.

It was a really nice smile. I had no idea how this bond worked, I was afraid it was making me have feelings that weren't really there, maybe that's true, but it wouldn't hurt to be nicer. And to be honest having someone care did not feel so bad. I was not going to just jump into her arms, or was it the other way around.

This bond freaked me out, but at least I can try to be friends. I can be a dick about this, or I can be a man and roll with the punches and make the best of every situation my upside down life would put me through.

"You know we'reboth tired Xaseah. Let's go back to the tower, there's something I want to show you." I said softly, and quite embarrassed.I didn't know why, but I was really embarrassed. Unless of course it wasn't me. I turned to look at Xaseah and had to fight hard to control the chuckle that was about to burst out of me. She notice and gave me a slap on the head, it hurt a lot to be clear, but it was refreshing.

"Well isn't that sweet. The very sight of the both of you makes me sick, but since there's such affection between the two of you, I'm sure it would add a flavor to your flesh that I've not tasted before.Hello there Lord Kael, I've come for our date.And just like you asked, I brought my dancing shoes."

I was startled, by the deep voice behind me, and true enough to the growing fear in my heart, he was standing there. The werewolf guard I had an argument with the first day I came to the mine, seems like so long ago, even if its just been a little over two weeks. He promised that he was going to kill me, swore even. And I had taunted him, told him to even bring his dancing shoes. And he did,.....well there were not so much dancing shoes as there were rows upon rows of gleaming silver fangs and claws. Uzi the ripper had come to make good on his oath, and he really did bring his dancing shoes.