216 Heart Ache IV : Grieving Vampires

I slept for a long time. I'm not sure how long, but I just refused to wake up. I could have, but I didn't, I couldn't. Because quite frankly I didn't know how to face the world, to face the pit, to face Gus, Kodak and Teluna. I was afraid, but I'm not sure of what. My last waking moments were of those rocks falling on me, crushing me, and darkness. But I was not dead, that much I was sure of. I could hear voices, I could hear theirs; Xaseah and Asha, begging me to wake up.I told them I didn't want to, and no matter what they tried to say to convince me otherwise, I shut them out.

For a moment, for just even a moment, I wanted to take a step back and stop being Kael Cor. To be someone different with a lesser amount of responsibilities if any at all. I wanted to see the world differently, and for the world to do the same and look at me differently. To happily love the women in my life and not worry every second that I might loose them, to have all of my family around, without sadness or the intense feeling of loss. To be truly free.

But that was just a dream, a very delusional dream. Reality was still as cruel and unforgiven as it's always had been. It didn't care who I was, what I've sacrificed and what I've lost. It would screw me over as many times as it wants and nit be questioned. Because that was life! And being and undead did not change the fact that I and every single vampire in the pit, can not fight against it's power of fate

"You should wake up, we can't bury Varsessa and Nisi without you. I know you're hurting, honestly we all are! But if you can't be there for everyone, then you'll be failing not just the living, but also the dead. Come on Kael, wake up!"

This time was a little louder than normal, but Asha's voice still had a powerful and compelling force behind. I woke up, not that I wanted to, but because I needed to. My delusions of happy and easier life aside, reality was still waiting for me, it still needed me to be who I'm supposed to be. So whether I've lost a close friend or not, I needed to be a man for everyone today. To be the leader that I'm supposed to be.

I sat on the edge of my bed, looking at Asha who was standingopposite me, and then right behind her was Xaseah sitting on a dresser. We all shared a room, but at this point I don't think an information like was relevant to my current situation. I felt my heart pound harder, almost as if it wanted to tear itself out of my chest. I closed my eyes, and prepared to activate my aura. To do what I needed to do, I really had to push all of this painful emotions out. Whether it was love, or hate, or anger, none of them were emotions that I was ready to feel.

"Don't do it!" Xaseahsaid to me, getting up from the dresser and heading towards me. And in the process she took Asha by the shoulder and led her to the side of the bed to sit.

"If you choose not to feel, if you choose not to grief along with the rest of us, then you've failed not just the people still alive, but those who have died for this cause. Varsessa and Nisi knew what they were getting into when they chose to follow you, to fight and believe in something. They knew there would be sacrifices, and that death was a probable option; but they were ready and prepared. Don't make light of their sacrifice by giving priority to your grief and guilt."

"This was no sacrifice! They were murdered!" I cried out in anger.

"Yes they were!" Asha spoke up this time.

"And there's nothing you can do about it, but honor them for it. The pit is a colder place without them, but their deaths did something you've been trying to do for a few months. It brought the entirety of the pit together, everyone who is anyone is right outside that palace waiting for you. There are bodies to be buried, and words to be spoken! Sleeping for a week won't change that. Please we...we're.....we're trying our best to hold everything together Kael. We need you."

Her voice breaking and the tears falling from her eyes were more than enough proof. It didn't take too long for Xaseah to join her in her crying too. Varsessa and Nisi were always around Asha, except for when the latter was working with Malek. It hit me that, even though I've known Nisi the longest, she was a lot closer to Asha and Xaseah than she was to me. I let my grief swallow me whole and then shut myself off from the rest of the world, it made me forget that we three were connected in ways normal magic or science wouldn't be able to explain.

I was feeling the pain of one person, but they were feeling two. And the moment I started sleeping, I was unable to actively cut off our connection, so they felt my pain along with theirs. And I left them to face it alone. As far as husbands go, I guess you could say I'm a crappy type considering I couldn't be there for my women when they needed me the most. So I did the next best thing I could do for them at moment. I chose to forget and push my grief, my self pity and guilt aside, and then I cried, I cried with them. I let it all out, but not in the way I was taught, not like a vampire, but rather like a person; the right way.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

THE BLACK DISTRICT

SUB-LOCATION: CANYON PASS

KODAK TERSOLON

Kodak has not eaten anything for the past week, not since he had to pull Kael out from under a pile of rocks, and carry him on his back to the city. Not that he needed to, but that was the only person that felt like a parent to him, so felt the need to be comforted at the moment. But Kael didn't wake up, he refused to wake up, and Kodak desperatelyneeded someone to talk to. But no one other than his best friend would do, but his best friend was not there.

Kodak was angry, upset and frustrated. He had spent the past four days with his sisters and brother, until he got so angry and a fight broke out between him, Gus and Nivae. All little Lynn could do was watch on as what was left of her family fell apart after the death of their mother. Their uncle, aunt and cousin tried to be there for them, but Kodak was not at all ready for the religious mumbo jumbo, so he had walked out, and came to the one place he knew would be silent and abandoned.

He had cried so much that he eventually stopped crying tears but blood instead. And now there were no tears left to cry anymore. Just a hunger and an emptiness he couldn't do without. Paint and heartache the likes he's never felt before.

"I suspected I would find you here." He heard a voice say to him.

He didn't have to look up to know who was talking. She's been really persistent, and Kodak really didn't want to deal with her, or talk about his feelings the way she seems eager to force him to.

"I'm not talking about my feelings Neva, and why are you here alone, where's your baby brother? I thought you guys were also joined at the hip, with him following you everywhere like lost puppy. Sure he's not going to miss you, you have to go back and breast feed the big baby before he gets really upset." Kodak said to her.

"Now you're just being mean." Neva said as she sat opposite him, letting her knees touch his as his back rested on the canyon wall.

"I know, I just don't care. And I really don't want to hear what you have to say Neva. So just shut up and leave me alone." Kodak said to her.

"Well I can only do one of those, and I've come to far to go back, so leaving you alone is out of the question. So I'll just stay here and not say anything. At the very least that shouldn't bother you too much."

Hours, that was how long Kodak sat with his back against that wall. Eventually he started crying again, screaming as his voice shook the black district, his grief and pain becoming almost unbearable as even the monsters within raised their voice and cried with him, their grief inter mingling with his broken, and Pain filled wail. And she sat there with him, keeping watch and just being there through all of his grief and pain. Besides how could she not, she loved him too much to let him be alone in this cold and dark place, if only he could just see that.