Chapter 7

Episode 07 Hold You Back

When she finally found Eris in her pajamas, walking far away, Emma thought her heart was about to burst, out of breath. She quickly moved her legs, creating a squeaky sound, to snatch Eris.

Eris was crying, out of focus.

– I want to go home.

– Your house is here.

– I want to go home… Mom, Mom…

– My lady, your mother, your mother…

– Mom, I want to eat kimchi fried rice.

Only then did Emma realize. That her lady will never come back.

What was in front of her was not the faithful, arrogant and lovable Eris. The poor child was lost, suffering as she wandered around without waking up from her dream. Emma was sorry for admitting what she realized so late.

As the child began to tear herself apart, Emma hugged her whole body and whispered.

‘It’s okay, it’ll be okay.

She didn’t let go of the child’s arm and head even if she hurt her. I’ll be by your side. Until the night burns white again and again… She whispered to her again and again and again.

You know, lady. Actually, I wanted to ask you something.

In this world, was there nothing that could hold you back?

I didn’t want to do anything, but the novel wouldn’t leave me alone. The maids washed and decorated me constantly, as if even mold would grow if I was still.

When I said I didn’t want to eat anything, the maid grabbed the spoon and fork and tried to feed me, saying I would only have to open my mouth. I was treated as a three-year-old, so I had no choice but to eat a little bit of food.

In the last few days, the maids were nervous that I would collapse straight away. It was also funny to hope that the rumors would not spread as the Imperial ‘Palace would make a fuss.

Perhaps by now, the social circle might be throwing a party for me being slapped by the Crown Prince. They were not against Eris because they were afraid of her, but no one in the community who really liked Eris and took care of her.

In the novel’s description, Eris was completely self-conscious, so if I were the real Eris, I would have made a disturbance by now.

Since I am not, the people in this family were rather worried about why Eris was sitting still. They even took my temperature to see if I was sick.

To be honest, I was a little angry that I was slapped, so I wanted to break into the Imperial Palace. I wanted to kill him by using a club when the prince was sleeping, but I repeatedly remembered that the Marquis held my hand.

It’s because my own dad’s hand is similar in size. I’ve never held my dad’s hand more than a few times in my life. Maybe that’s why. If I had known this, I would have held my dad’s hand a lot.

I thought of my family whenever I was absent-minded. People said they start to regret only after losing it. It was just like that. My family and I weren’t on bad terms, but it wasn’t that good either. No, to be exact, I drew to the corner of the house.

At that time, I didn’t like the expectations my parents had on me. If I had hoped for it, I would have been interested in it, but it was unfair. I was always left on my own to do well, but if I couldn’t do it, they scolded me. Even if it was a joke, they never did it to my brother who is three years younger.

I wanted to go to music school. I think I had the talent. I got good grades as well. The only thing I didn’t have was money, but that passion was the most important. Instead of the university I wanted to go to, I put in an application at another university, where the tuition was cheap. But because I didn’t have higher grades, I couldn’t get into the course I wanted.

Still, in order to get a scholarship, I studied really hard. When I needed pocket money, I got a short-term part-time job. I was told that we had no money every day, so || thought this is what I had to do.

When it came to my brother, he had to retake his college exam.

The reason was that it couldn’t be helped. When he failed to go to the department he wanted to go to, my parents paid all the tuition fees for my younger brother, as well as the cost of his cram school.

Thated such parents. They are much more generous to my brother than to me, and they seem to love him more.

I got a job with all my might, and I became independent early. I reluctantly called to say hello during the holidays, but I never went down. I purposely sent birthday presents in cash. But since they raised me, I felt like I should do that much.

I thought we could meet again whenever I wanted. Maybe that’s why I acted colder. I knew my parents would wait for me.

If I knew I’d never see them again, I should have gone down there pretending | couldn’t win when I got a text message saying I can do what I liked.

‘If I knew this would happen, I shouldn’t have said nothing when they asked what I wanted for my birthday. I always thought I wouldn’t get it, but when I think about it, didn’t do anything for them.

Acting cute has always been my brother’s responsibility, and I helped him with the common massage and housework. When they ate chicken, they said they were feeding chicken legs to my younger brother and me, so they ate other parts first.

It may be natural to like my younger brother more. If we meet again, I’d be more considerate. My throat was choked with belated remorse.

I was so sorry I couldn’t go home, but in the midst of this, the Imperial Palace finished sewing the clothes to match with the prince, so they told me to come to try them on.

The knight oath ceremony was one of the big events in the novel anyway, so it was natural to call me, who is the prince’s fiancee.

Tunderstand this in my head, but it’s not that it’s not my heart. There was a Crown Prince in the palace. The Crown Prince who slapped me in the face, who didn’t get punished, and could flirt with Helena without guilt.

Even if we meet at the oath ceremony, we won’t be able to control our facial expressions. Just the two of us? When | came to my senses, it was fortunate that there was no Crown Prince in front of me.

I dressed myself as if I was going to a slaughterhouse and loaded myself into a carriage. It’s going to happen anyway, so I decided to get there first.

Somehow I managed the strength to look out the window, and noticed that the people on the side of the road were all laughing.

Except me. Everyone looked so happy except me.

Why should I be the one to get hit? It flashed across my mind. Why do I have to put up with it? What am I doing so wrong that I have to stand next to the guy who slapped me and smile?

“Stop the carriage.”

“What?”

“Didn’t you hear that? Pull over the carriage now!”

The carriage came to a sudden stop. As soon as it stopped, the knight ran outside without a hitch. My shoes were a little high, but they were fine. I wore this a lot in Korea, too.

I jumped into the narrowest and deepest alley to keep the knights out. I felt like throwing up because I was out of breath, but I kept laughing.

Should I hide like this forever? If I ran away from this life, would they not give up on me someday? Then, if the world gives up on me, wouldn’t I be able to go back? My eyes heated up.

Let it go. Give it up. Helena is the only thing the world needs anyway.

“There she is! Get the young miss!

The knights’ cries made me impatient. I even threw off my shoes and walked up and down the stairs barefooted.

I don’t want to get caught. If I got caught, I would be dragged into the palace. No, even if I don’t go to the palace right now, I’ll be taken home and pushed into the palace tomorrow. The mere thought of it made me feel sick.

I was urgently looking for a place to hide ‘myself, someone grabbed my hand. I thought it was a ghost and was ready to scream, but I swallowed it.

The scruffy-looking boy in front of me covered her lips with her fingers and asked me.

“Do you want to run away?”

“Haa, haa… what?”

“Goodness, do you want to hide?”

As I nodded blankly, the child laughed and whistled. Then other children popped out of the alley. They dispersed in unison while I was being led by hand.

Some of them paired up and played with rubber bands, and some of them played hide-and-seek deliberately. While they were blocking the road and drawing attention, I was pushed into a house. The door closed, and the child grinned and reached out.

“My compensation. You saw al-I those kids that jumped out, right? And you better not try to call it even by just getting me some snacks, alright?”

“What, that…”

I was embarrassed and touched my waist for a moment, because of my full dress, it didn’t have a pocket.

I felt sorry for the child’s growing disappointment, so I took out the jewelry from my ears and gave them to her. Then she gave me a big smile.

“I don’t know if you will be tracked down and accused as a thief. Use it well.”

“No worries, miss. This is our specialty!”

When I heard a rattling sound from the back of the door, the child quickly said “here, here!” and pushed me into a closet.

The family’s knight came to search the house, so she paused and hid herself. But the man who came in was not a knight of the family.

As if he knew the child, he welcomed her with a smiling face. Blurred with brown hair and brown eyes…. In this novel, which is full of sparkling faces, he was a man with a typical ‘extra’s’ appearance.

Looking at the floor without responding to the child’s small talk, he suddenly asked the child.

“Who is it?”

“Hmm?”

“Who did you bring home?”

“Who do you think I will bring here? Oh, my God, this dusty house…”

Sighing at the deft liar, the man walked straight into the closet where I was hiding. Teven took my eyes away from the crack, covered my mouth with my hands and held, my breath, but the man did not hesitate.

“Come out.”

“Brother!”

The man opened the closet door and looked down at me. The calm eyes were filled with tiredness, rather than contempt or pity. I didn’t want to squabble with a weary man, so I kicked my tongue and exited the closet.

When I came out, the man reached out to the child. When the child blinked, feigning ignorance, he raised his eyebrows.

The child groaned and put the earrings she had received into the man’s hand. The man placed it back in my hand.

“Take it.”

“I saved her and received it!”

“Quiet. You know there’s nothing good about being involved with aristocrats.”

“But…”

I looked at a man who was soothing the child, who raised his voice as if he was being falsely accused, and threw my earrings at him again.

The man who reflexively caught the earrings looked at me.