Chapter 60 - Schadenfreude

I woke up from my machine, wore my clothes, strapped my coat, wore my leather shoes, and walked out.

I had decided that I wasn't going to activate my Omniscience for today. I wanted to feel Mortal, to reminiscent and feel nostalgia.

I immediately regretted it.

Why would I regret it, well when you see three Mechanical Deities crashing at each other in space, you have to wonder just what the f.u.c.k is going on.

More so when each Mechanical Deity came with its own design, one was Red and Gold, another was Silver and Red, last one was Purple and Black.

They were Five Km tall and were clashing in space like it was a payday for someone. With each clash generating shockwaves for the entire world.

It pissed me off, why was a core technology like Mechanical Deity in two other people's hands.

Sho came out and said to me "That's on you, now I need to go on my sweet a.s.s vacation".

"Where the f.u.c.k are you going ?", he did not reply, he was me. I knew where he was going, but he scoffed like a teenager and said "Aren't you Omniscient ?".

Then I looked at the two Mechanical Deities clashing at one and realised, I need popcorn for this shit. "Automaton get me some popcorn, and fly that little shit to Miami, if it exists".

With Sho out of the picture I held my Popcorn box and ate.

Kai had already known about me coming back and he called me in the Quantum Interface, "Why aren't you helping me ?".

"Nah this one's on you, I will hear the story later. I need Coke, can something get me a Coke".

The Black-Purple Mechanical Deity slashed with its Sword, The Deity Killer. The Gold-Red Mechanical Deity spread out its arms and fired huge beams of repulsor rays.

The Silver-Red Mechanical Deity took the sword to its bones and Shielded itself from the repulsor rays and turned for a huge fist.

Silver immediately slammed at Black and as it was turning around, only to meet with a Gold fist.

Mechanical parts were strewn across the entire Space. Although the Gold and Silver showed signs of their Deity and Mechanical Soldier thinning out, Black stayed at maximum output.

With the amount of damage Black kept on tanking for Gold, Silver fell at a heavy disadvantage. Though trying to escape and corroding the Deities from the internet was a good choice, it fell short on Kai's mind.

The Quantum Interface and upgraded version of the internet, was Kai's playground and Normal internet was like a lower realm, Kai was completely unwilling to play in it, so he pulled in the Silver Deity into the Quantum Interface, though it fought back with its attacks on the Actual field as well.

Soon the Silver Deity was trapped in the Quantum Interface and Virtually Purified. I say soon but the fight since my entry was three days long.

Then the Mechanical Deities dissassembled and Two figures came down. Kai was there and the second figure was Tony Stark.

"Well anybody care to explain, how the Mechanical Deity, the Mechanical Deity has two more wielders, when there should have been one".

Kai smiled goofily and said "It was all Tony's fault !".

He directly sold out his ally without care, Tony was offended "Kid, you shouldn't blame your senior".

"Only in a few Mechanical based terms are you a senior".

"Stark, Kai, I need the f.u.c.k.i.n.g story from the beginning !".

Tony went "Well you see, when Papa Stark and Mama Stark had s.e.x that one night...".

"Too early !".

So Kai came up and said "Well you know Wade, how you gave him a Stand and an Automaton".

The Automatons then brought them some seats, some food for Tony and they sat while I continued.

"Well yeah he was bugging me and I couldn't get rid of him, so I gave in".

Kai then took a solemn face and said "Lets say, he corrupted the Automaton he took".

"What the f.u.c.k ?".

"That's not the baddest part. Now Nier A16 looks like a punk a.s.s discount Harlequin on Drugs with a Baseball bat".

"Whats that got to do with any of these ?".

"Let the kid get to there" Tony took a sip out of the Champagne that was brought out. It was not really an admonishing tone, it was the kind of tone elders use when they tell children stories and ask them to wait patiently.

"So Wade went nuts with his Automaton, there were even news of his marriage with Nier A16. They had begun to cause mayhem at all places they could think, even Heaven wasn't safe that day".

Bullshit.

"On one such outing they came across Tony who was out with the Avengers to lessen the headache Fury felt".

"Why is Fury having a headache, isn't it his everyday job to take care of Super related incidents ?".

This time it was Tony who replied chewing some burgers "Well normally yes, but since someone decided to turn the entire population of Earth into Supers, it has become harder for him to do his job as perfectly as he used to before".

"Just drink your Champagne and go through that door. Pepper will be happy to know you waited for three hours before going back home to calm her nerves".

Tony audibly gulped, and immediately stood up "Shit I forgot it's our anniversary today. Oh my God I am so late".

"I might not get the gift ready, unless you could really help me out".

"What do you wan..".

Before my question had even escaped my mouth he said "A Loli Nier".

"Well I wasn't expecting that for sure".

Looking at my gaze he scoffed at me saying "What kind of filthy mind do you have ? My tastes are quite heavy on the c.h.e.s.ts and the a.s.s. I asked because I thought she could be the cute bodyguard Pepper could have".

"Whatever, knock yourself out".

Hearing my Order, Automaton Nier L18, who till now was serving us our drinks and very coincidentally walking towards us, became a Loli and went together with Stark.

Looking at L18 walking away with Stark, Kai shook his head at me and said "Really L18, really ?".

"What, we can now claim her as Legally 18 and survive any kind of court room problem we might face. Forget that and continue on with the story".

"Is it ? I don't care just tell me the story".

"So we were on the Avenger part right. So the Avengers repelled the insanity and Nier A16 caught Tony's eye. If it was just about the Automaton, then he had seen plenty, but what attracted him was the Dark Matter Engine".

"So what happened next ?".

"Well Stark was bold and hacked the Quantum Interface and was able to steal a bit of our Machinery Blueprints. It ended with me kicking him out the instant he came. In this way we fought Nine times, with me winning Eight times".

"What you actually lost against a normal human, isn't your mind Enhanced to act as multiple supercomputers ?".

"Not really, but I still count it as my loss, because at the end of our Ninth battle he was able to slip in an invitation. He invited me to a party in Avenger's Tower. Next thing I know we were exchanging notes together, swimming with the Bikini Clad Black Widow, arm wrestling Thor - I lost, pool partying with Tony. I gave all the blueprints he asked for".

"What the f.u.c.k, you gave him everything, tell me you at least got a little something in exchange ?".

"Nope gave him everything for free !".

My mind blanked out, was I such a Stark fan to give out everything for free. I got very angry and shouted at myself or in this case at Kai.

"Well that large a.s.s swimming pool for sure didn't have a Stark or a Bikini Clad Black Widow in it".

I was stumped and I couldn't give out a reply "Touche Kai, Touche".

Then Kai continued "Turns out Ultron already exists and he stole the Blueprints from Stark and began amassing for the Mechanical Deity. All the Avengers were busy somewhere else, so Stark called for my help and we went to deal with Ultron. That was a week ago and Stark had to cancel all his plans to stop this warmongering Robot".

"Whatever it's not like you got anything back", as soon as I said that a File came to Kai.

He looked at me and opened the file, in an instant he backed away by a dozen steps. When I looked into the file, even I backed away by at least Ten steps.

Because to us it felt like a trap, we were so sure comic book Tony Stark destroyed all evidence of it's creation. It was such a horrifyingly strong armor that Stark had to scrap it and destroy every trace the world had about it.

Now it was in our Quantum Interface, it did not appease me, all it did was scare the shit out of me. That armor could even fight against me, A reality warper of the highest level and most possibly win.

It was the Godbuster Armor, in an instant I said to Kai "Memorise it and destroy all traces back to its source".

He did what I said, he didn't need me to order it. Stark gave out a few more Blueprints, such as the Godkiller Armor and the Fin Fang Foom Buster.

It immediately lifted my spirits and made me feel like the trade was too ripped off.

To be fair David or Legion would never know that Kai was being tested by Stark. Once Stark felt like Kai was trustworthy, he gave out the blueprint. Though Kai doesn't know what he did to please Stark, it was very honouring to even have seen the Godbuster blueprint.

"Kai, I authorise the use of the Evolution Codex : Prime on Tony Stark. Let him use it as many times on anyone as he wishes".

"But won't that be detrimental to him".

"He is a genius Kai, a genius, he knows just how much is good and what the Evolution Codex actually does after a few uses".

The Evolution Codex still refines the Gene of any living organism. It still hadn't been scrapped of its actual use.

"Also send out a Tonne of Gene Modifier Crystals".

"Isn't that going to be our specialty ?".

"You know what I mean, also send a note back. Have you memorised the blueprint ?".

Kai nodded, "Write in the note that except for the Godbuster Armor's blueprint, we accept all others, we cannot shoulder such a blueprint, so we have erased all traces of it. Please accept our dear gift of authority over Evolution Codex Prime and a share of Avalon's specialty the Gene Modifier Crystals".

Kai who was writing the note immediately shouted out "What kind of Schadenfreude is this ?".

"Our kind Kai, our kind".

He looked at me and said "Touche David, Touche".

Then I went around looking for Ash, my quota of Muda's never ending. With her under my arms being carried like a sack, I called for Skip, Shelly and Kuro, we went on a trip.

But I had a question that kept bugging me, "Why didn't any of you help Kai ?".

To which Ash replied as cool and as badass sounding as she could "One always takes responsibility for ones own actions".

"Daammmnnn who in the nine realms of hell is teaching you guys ?".

So I tried Omniscience to figure this thing out and saw Wade aka the Deadpool sitting around teaching kids as replacement for teachers on a break.

"What the f.u.c.k ? My entire staff of teachers are Automatons, they never get sick or tired so why are they on a break, What kind of Schadenfreude is this ?".

Wade directly jumped out of the tree and said "Our kind little bro, our kind".

To this I could only helplessly say "Touche Wade, Touche". You would too, especially if you saw a sparkly eyed Wade and a My Pony T-Shirt wearing Nier.