79 Chapter 78: High School Memories

I think this is the time I should do this! Remember what Alex told me. Raise her spirit and give her self esteem! This is my only shot so I better not screw this up! If I don't raise her self-esteem as Alex advised me then that'll be just terrible. She won't grow a backbone to even defend herself. I can't just leave her knowing that something like that would happen. That's so terrible!

"What do you mean you don't have a choice exactly?" I inquired her more on her statement. She sighed, brushing her hair softly before responding back to me.

"I remember back in high school. I was always that timid child that everyone would pick on. During high school, a lot of people heavily bullied me, burning me with their cigarettes, hurting me anytime they get. Sometimes even forcing me to strip off my clothes for their entertainment. I.. I tried to get them to stop but I never really had a choice. I don't want to be forgotten, I don't want people to not pay attention to me..."

Hearing this, it just makes me feel like she's more afraid of not being noticed than being treated horribly. She didn't really care about the way she was treated. She only cared about the attention she got. I guess that's why she became like this. She became "promiscuous" so she would get attention from guys.

"What about your parents? Didn't they do anything about this? Surely if they heard how you-" She stops me from speaking. "I have no parents." She muttered it out. "Even at my house, I would get beaten by people. That's why I learned how to take care of my wounds. You see these bandages?"

I scanned her body again and the injuries were there. All of those bruises came from bullies and her own parents? The way she treated her? She doesn't even treat them as her guardians or parents at all.

"By the way... I'm sorry for just babbling like that out on you.. if you hate me you can punch me if you want.." She whimpered to me, giving me puppy dog eyes. Huh? Why does she think I hate her for doing that?

"Oh, it's fine! I don't need to hit you actu-" She cuts me off from speaking, completely exploding like a volcano in her speech. She started spasming out, nervous about what's about to happen next. Like there was an earthquake going on.

"I.. I.. THEN DO you want my money? I can give you everything I have right now. It's not much but please don't get mad at me... I'll listen to everything you say now!" She squealed very loudly, attempting to please me, desperately.

What the hell is wrong with this girl... why does she feel the need to not make me angry? Something is definitely wrong with her but I guess this might help her on building her self-esteem. If I tell her my story and how I experienced my high school. I might give her some faith in herself.

But opening those closed wounds again. It... it hurts me straight from my stomach. This conversation is already hard enough as it with my stomach grumbling.

"Hey, you know just looking at you and how you react. It really just reminds me so much about myself. That time that I was in high school, in the all-girls school." I placed my hand above her hand which was placed on the bench seat. She takes notice of this and looks at me in the eye. 

"Huh? Why?" She shakes her head in confusion to what I suddenly muttered.

"Back then, I always felt horrible about myself. I hated the fact that I was a tomboy. You see we had these stupid gender roles in our school. A girl has to act this way, a girl has to act that way. That was hammered into our heads although I was really just the exception. I never really cared about that rule. While everyone decided to hide what they truly were with masks of makeup and jewelry. I still remained to be myself because that was who I was!"

"However..." I paused for a moment, reliving that past memory of torment. "No one liked that, they didn't take kindly to me being myself. They would call me names and completely humiliate me. Screaming out loud that I was a mistake and I was abnormal because I liked t-shirts rather than wearing those frilly dresses. I almost hated myself at that moment. Like I wanted to die. I hid from my room, not even bothering in going out because I couldn't stand everything."

"God..." She covered her mouth in shock. "That sounds awful... I can't believe they would do that to you." 

"Although, I got over it. Thanks to my friends, since back then I was so tempted to do what they wanted me to do. I wanted to go and wear makeup, sit still, look pretty like they were taught to do. I was very tempted to do all those things but I never did. I said no because that wasn't who I am. I'm not going to do something just because that makes someone happy." I explained it to her, hoping that she would take the hint I'm giving her.

"You... you.. said no to them? For trying to change you?"

"Yes because I knew for a fact that it wasn't me. If you were me. What would you do in that situation? Would you just say yes to everything they said to just feel wanted? Why would you do that? That's ridiculous! Do something because you want to do it! Not because someone else wants to do it!" I shouted to her, hopefully the point makes it across her.

"What... what if the people that are forcing you to do things... are the ones you call your friends? You can't say no to friends right?"

"If your friends force you to do things that you didn't want to do then they wouldn't be friends! What kind of friend peer pressures you to do something that you don't like. I have quite a lot of friends and we know how to say no to one another."

"BUT? Wouldn't that make them all mad at you?! What if you said no to them and they retaliated at you and never wanted to become friends with you!" She argued with me, I can tell that she's referring to her situation. So that means she considered her abusers as her "friends", that's such a naive thing to think.

"If they were mad at me. I'll be okay with it. Honestly, friends get mad at me all the time. My friend, Damien turned his back on me and stopped talking to me because I made a mistake by inviting him to something that was chaotic. My friend, Rose made me feel so irritated by her childish behavior! It almost even made me want to hate her!"

"BUT STILL! A friend is something that stays with you forever! Rose never gave up on me when we met each other during high school! She could have easily just ditched me since she was the cheerleader and she was popular but she didn't because she saw me as a real person she wanted to be friends with!" I added. "Even if we did fight with each other, we'd still make up on it because our friendship is better than our little argument! If just a simple argument or the fact that you say no ruined your friendship. THEN IT'S NOT TRUE FRIENDSHIP AND THAT'S THAT!"

I was almost out of breath from everything I said as of now. I continued to yell out everything and I knew it was all true. All the things that came out of my mouth were the thing that she needed to hear however it'll be up to her. The only that can stop her abusive friends is HERSELF. If she doesn't have the guts to stop it then this will just be for nothing.

She sat there, completely silent without saying a word in front of me. She seems to be in deep thinking. She's probably going to grow a backbone for once now.

I stood up from my seat in the bench, I rubbed my belly from the sudden stomach ache I'm already feeling. THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE YOURSELF HUNGRY FOR SO LONG BUT IF SHE LEARNED SOMETHING THIS WILL BE WORTH IT!

"Listen, if your friends treat you like that. Don't take it. You can say no. It's 2 letters and it's one word but it's powerful. Not being able to say no to someone is the worst quality you can have as a person. Just remember that okay?" I smiled a little before getting on my foot and walking off into the distance.

I can see her at the back staring into space, thinking about what had I just said to her. Is this enough to encourage her though? I hope it is...