Chapter 44

Chapter 44

The Innocent Ones who do overnight shifts showered in the morning. They were free to do what they wanted the rest of the day, and most either slept, took care of personal errands, or watched the other brothers work their dayshifts. This meant the washroom in our selamlique was most likely empty in the middle of the night or early afternoon.

I cleaned myself off of his semen as best as I could before leaving the warrior’s bedroom. I returned to the washroom and showered quickly as well. If I didn’t, I was afraid that other people could smell the warrior’s scent on me.

However, even after I washed up, I couldn’t bring myself to socialize with anyone because I still could smell him on me. In the end, I returned to my bedroom and fell asleep only to be awakened with a shiver. Feeling uncomfortable, I couldn’t sit or lie still. No matter how thoroughly I cleaned myself, I felt dirty.

I used my finger to clean the inside of me. I was able to scrape the last bit of sticky liquid out of me, but… I felt fearful that my brothers would be able to find the scent of a man’s semen on me if they came close enough.

I was especially worried about Eriez, who had a very keen sense of smell. I knew that if he was near me, he would find out what happened immediately and accuse me of seducing the warrior. He would ask me, “So Hakim Karid took you, didn’t he? Did you like it?”

What should I say if Eriez asked me? Should I tell him I liked it or say to him that I was afraid? Should I tell him that I was only following the warrior’s order? That I assumed he had a good reason for such an order, so I trusted him and did as he asked?

All of these answers were true, but what I worried about was which answer would hurt my friend the less. What should I tell him so it would cause him the least amount of sadness?

Then… What did Eriez think when he told the Goddess’ warrior about me? What my body craved? Did he think that if I was separated from Prince Camille, I would belong only to him?

When he told the warrior, did Eriez know that I would be asked to pleasure the warrior?

The Prince told me that in the faraway land of Hwen, the male slaves became addicted to the enjoyment of having sex with their masters. If they gained the highest satisfaction from this act, did it make the enslavement okay? Was the pleasure enough of a reward that the shame was worth it?

I stopped washing and looked at a wall. What was my purpose now? What was I doing? I wasn’t preparing myself for the war. I wasn’t helping the boy prince to get ready for it either. I did serve the Goddess’ warrior very closely, but all he needed from me was to use my body. The warrior said he wanted to satisfy my need, but I knew it meant he was going to use me until he didn’t want me anymore. Furthermore, he would take me however he desired.

In all honesty, I was just his sex slave. Nothing more.

I was no longer Eriez’s sex doll, I was Hakim Karid’s. In both cases, as long as I wanted to do it, neither of these men would end up in hell. This was especially the case for the warrior. Who would dare to condemn me when all I did was serve the Goddess’ warrior?

Suddenly, I heard the washroom slide door open. I was shocked, but I immediately calmed my breath and remained quiet. It seemed that whoever entered the washroom didn’t realize I was here. I heard his footsteps moving away from me.

“Is there anyone here?”

Iztal Manar.

His distinct voice rang inside the washroom. I was surprised that he was here in the middle of the day when he was supposed to be busy investigating the recent murders. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I didn’t want him, of all people, to know I was here. I didn’t want to see him at all. I remained quiet and immobile.

However, I was still curious about why he was here. I moved slightly so I could spy on him.

“…?”

Slush, slush, slush.

Manar was fully clothed. His back was towards me, and he was squatting down on the floor and doing something. He seemed very focused. Was he… Was he doing a laundry?

Every time he used a wooden gourd to pour water on whatever he was working on, I saw bloody water streaming away from him and to the nearby drain.

“Dammit! Dammit! Dammit…”

The way he swore sounded ominous and I knew something was wrong. Was he injured? If he was, why didn’t he take his clothes off and wash the wound?

I knew he didn’t like being naked in front of the other brothers. He hated others seeing his body because of the old scars that covered his entire body and face from the fire. I heard this was when he lost his voice as well. It was why his voice was so gritty. It wasn’t like any of the brothers would tease him or even mention it to him, but regardless, he avoided being seen naked.

A long time ago, I thought that if we ever became friends, I would tell him that there was no need for him to hide like this. I wanted to say to him that all the brothers, including myself, would never feel any differently about him just because of his scars. However, it never happened. We never became friends.

Manar believed he was alone in the washroom. His hands were moving fast to wash whatever it was he was cleaning, and soon, he began to sweat. Finally, he took his top off. I saw the side of his face. Against his long hair, he actually still looked beautiful.

To my surprise, I saw that he had a white bandage wrapped around his chest a few times, but other than that, his skin was smooth and flawless. No scars! His skin was ashen because he never took his top off when he was outside.

“… huh?”

I made a mistake of sighing, and when he turned towards me, I lowered my face and hid quickly. I was incredibly good at hiding. It has been my biggest talent since I was a child.

Phew.

Thankfully, Manar didn’t see me. He returned to washing something that lay in front of him. The sloshing sound continued.

Then… he continued to swear quietly, “Dammit… At least it won’t be too long until I don’t have to do this sh*t anymore.”

I couldn’t hear every word he said, but I still was able to listen to enough to understand.

“Not long… Only a little while longer till I don’t have to take orders from those bastards… So just you wait… Dammit… Just keep your head up, Manar. He better not get caught… I will be there soon enough…”

He was muttering to himself, and I could hear some but not all of the words. Meanwhile, the stream of bloody water continued to flow towards the drain.

Until he left, I remained tense and anxious. At least, thanks to Manar, I was able to briefly forget about what happened last night.