Chapter 90
I became the warrior’s harlot. Every night, he took me to his bed, and it became our daily routine. Strangely, however, I began to feel less and less satisfied with our sex. I didn’t mean that it didn’t feel good. When he was inside of me, it still felt nice, but the problem was that whenever we were together, the Goddess’ warrior would order me to call him by Camille’s name. “Ahh… Camille… Ha… My Prince… Aaaa… Haa…”
“You like this, huh? You would love to be f*cked by your student, Juya?”
“Ahh…. I… I do… I love it… Haa…. I love… My love… Haa… Camille…”
His voice… His words… They aroused me. I wondered why he was doing this to me. I enjoyed it, of course, because I could reveal my true feelings, but what did the warrior gain from this? He was taking my body while I called out someone else’s name…
At some point, I began to hear Camille’s voice, not the warrior’s.
“Say something dirty, Juya… Hhh… I heard you are very good at it. Am I wrong?”
“Aaa… Haa…”
“How many men took you like this? How much semen did you drink up…? You are filthy, just like that woman who bore Camille… This is perfect.”
“Aaa… Camille… I love your dck… Ahh… I love it… I get so wet when I’m with you… I want only you to… Ahh… fck me… Just Camille…”
Eriez taught Prince Camille very well. His highness became a man lately. A very strong man who could probably carry me around effortlessly. Strong lean body… His breath… I remembered tasting him inside my mouth.
Oh my… So good…
When he was done, the warrior always put his fingers deep inside of me. He whispered to me, “… Now, Hawaki. I hope you get pregnant tonight.”
Whenever he said this to me, I was reminded of two things. Firstly, this was Hakim Karid, not Prince Camille. Secondly, I needed to be loved by this man to exist. I should not covet Prince Camille anymore because even at this moment, he was probably with Hawaki in the harem.
“Ahh… Dammit.”
When I was left alone with the warrior, I had too much time to think clearly. I hated this. I didn’t want to feel because I wanted to be intoxicated. Obviously, I could not get any more drugs, but maybe I could get drunk on alcohol. Even the strange smoke the prince enjoyed smoking would be welcome.
Or… Just to be taken by a man… Any man…
Then I realized that none of these options was something the Goddess approved.
“Dammit…!”
Now I know the truth. I knew that I didn’t like Hakim Karid at all. His greatness blinded my own true feelings. At first, the warrior led me because he said he needed me, and even now that I became useless, he held onto me still.
Hakim Karid left the capital and came to Minurd to do his duties, but he has been procrastinating. Instead, he has been focused on something entirely different. He also went to Minurd to restore his younger brother’s honor, but in the end, the warrior could not hide his jealousy towards Prince Camille. Hakim Karid even ended up insulting his own mother, the Goddess of this world.
Nazlahil.
She was called the Goddess, but was she really divine? The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. She was the woman who got raped by various kings who were intoxicated by the drug. If she couldn’t even save herself, then how powerful of a woman could she really be?
Did this mean that Nazlahil was not Ara?
I just didn’t know.
Manar said that everyone in Minurd, especially Hakim Karid, were pagans. Perhaps she was right.
The prince told me that not everything people believed was genuine. The laws we followed may actually have no real effect on any of us. This meant that what I did… What I committed may not cause me to end up in hell like I believed.
I wouldn’t have minded going in hell, though, if it meant that everyone who used my body would go there with me. They may have believed that just because I wanted it, it would keep them safe, but I didn’t think so. Besides, only I could be the one who can say what I wanted and what I didn’t want. Only I was the one who could say what really happened in front of the Goddess.
It was all up to me.
Hurray for the Goddess.
Alone in the room, I grinned. Except for Prince Camille, everyone else who f*cked me would go to hell. Wait, I suppose I should make an exception for Eriez as well. That poor guy…
I wanted more men to be sent to hell. Even the men from the capital and those who shamed the prince… I wanted all of them to go to hell, which meant that I had to seduce them all and have them f*ck me. I would end up destroying myself, but if it meant Arim Sevan Camille could go to heaven, then it would all be worth it because I loved him.
This was how I would show the prince my love and devotion to him.
Of course, I couldn’t say anything about this plan to anyone. For now, I was Hakim Karid’s slave. He was my master, and I was his toy.
One night, when I was with the Goddess’s warrior, I said to him, “May I ask a question?”
“What is it?”
“For a long time, there has been a plan for us to go west and conquer a kingdom called Hwen. We have gone through a lot lately, and I was curious about what was happening to this plan. Has there been any progress?”
The warrior laughed at me. It was apparent that he thought I didn’t understand him. Maybe he thought I was not worthy of even asking such a question. However, it wasn’t such a sensitive topic that he refused to answer me, “You don’t have to worry your pretty head about it. There has been an ongoing civil war back in the capital, but things are settling down now. I also received messages from other kingdoms that they promise to send reinforcements for this conquest. Once they arrive, we will begin our journey. If things go according to our plan, we will leave next winter or early spring…”
When we would leave didn’t actually matter. I approached him and touched his chest as I asked, “Will you take me with you?”
“Of course, I will. Wherever I go, you will follow.”
“But My Warrior, I am nothing now. I am useless to you. I even lost my sword, and my body is not like the way it used to be. I am like a woman now, so how will I follow you to a dangerous war?”
Would I ever get a chance to escape this hypocrite? I didn’t know when it began, but I dreamt of the day when I became free. One thing I knew for sure now was that I no longer saw the warrior as great or truthful. I knew what he really was. I couldn’t show him my true feelings now, but once my trust in him was broken, it was over. I could never put my faith in him again.
Maybe… I never really trusted him. Either way, Hakim Karid, who enjoyed my body every night, would end up in hell. I was sure of it.