Chapter 109
Translator: Yonnee
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I’m alone now.
“Ah…”
A lingering sense of despair pulled down on me. Despite how hazy everything was, there was only one thing that lay on the forefront of my mind.
I was the one who abandoned him.
My fear of pain was what killed Blanc. I wasn’t even aware of just how much of my heart I’d given the small dragon. I didn’t know I’d regret it this much.
My eyesight grew blurred. My heart was pounding mercilessly.
No. No. No.
Not even knowing who I was talking to, I repeated the same word over and over again.
And then.
“Rosé.”
I heard Albert’s warm voice calling out to me.
During a time that I was unable to breathe, his voice was what breathed oxygen into me. His existence alone comforted me.
As though I’d become a person lost in the desert, I rushed to him like he was my oasis.
I wanted Albert to call my name. I wanted to tell him to come close, just as he usually did—to stay by my side.
“…Prince?”
But there’s something wrong. He seemed different right now.
He wasn’t the same Albert who looked at me with a gaze as warm as the spring breeze.
It was the same calm, icy glare that welcomed me to this world after I woke up as Rosé, in the middle of coercing him into a kiss.
My heart plummeted.
…I already knew what he was going to say.
I already expected that this day would come.
Because the fear of it was the biggest reason why I pushed him away in the first place.
“I don’t love you anymore.”
Ruthlessly so, he tore my heart to pieces.
“It was temporary. Just as you said, I must have gone mad because we were alone in that tower.”
And he uttered the words that I feared the most.
“What’s so good about you when you’re the maid who locked me up in that prison?”
The fact that I had no right to refute this brought me even further down the depths of despair.
“I’ll uphold the contract that I signed, so let’s stop it here. Let’s not meet again in the future.
And even until the bitter end, Albert smiled as he spoke to me.
It was at the moment before he turned his back on me.
It wasn’t difficult at all for him to leave me.
“That’s something I didn’t expect.”
I laughed bitterly.
I finally left the tower. Albert upheld the contract just as he said. From then on, I could live properly without worrying about money.
But I wasn’t able to see Albert again.
It’s not that I didn’t try. However, he was now the king, and I was a mere maid who couldn’t dare ask for an audience.
“Three cheers for His Majesty!”
“Long live our righteous King!”
Outside my mansion, people cheered for Albert boisterously. His portrait became a popular commodity amongst the citizens. Everyone admired and looked up to Albert.
He was so far away from me now.
I tried to visit the palace a few times because I couldn’t press down on the need to see Albert. But then, without even getting the chance to take one step inside, I was sent away.
Albert could choose to see me anytime, but that wasn’t the case for me.
…He had cast me away, and now I couldn’t see him.
The world continued forward. The helplessness that weighed down so heavily on me made it so hard to breathe.
My view was still dim and hazy.
This feeling was very familiar to me.
I was sent back to the lowest point of my entire life—the day I lost my mother and father at the same time; the day I became all alone.
I cried for a long time in our home. When I cried and cried without stopping, I soon became sick and dehydrated. I barely reached the hospital with the help of my distant aunt.
That was the moment I feared loving people who might one day disappear from my life. It became so difficult to give all of myself to anyone else.
Because I knew I would be left alone.
That emptiness when a loved one was gone. The crippling loneliness of being alone.
To me, this was something that terrified me even more so than any kind of physical pain.
As time passed, the memories of my parents remained only that—memories. I soon became numb enough that I could smile moderately once more.
I thought my trauma gradually got better. I thought I already forgot. After all, time could solve more things than you’d think.
My vision turned black.
“…Huu.”
I let out a light gasp and wiped the tears trickling down my eyes.
I was back in the tower again, where the dream first began.
The memories came back to me slowly.
This place wasn’t real. What I went through just now was Alexander’s final gift, his disaster. I know that now.
But my heart was still pounding.
“…If he’s saying that this isn’t bad, then just how much pain are those other people experiencing?”
The moment he woke up from that nightmare, Rosteratu might really kill Marquis Evnen on the spot. It was such a vivid dream. Astonished as I became witness to the true power of a dragon, I shuddered.
If the pain he inflicted could be converted to the amount of power he had… I could vaguely guess just how immense it was. And as the disaster Alexander would leave in his wake was from all of his power, then even more.
But now I knew what it was.
What I’m most afraid of.
“Just as I thought. I should be Blanc’s contractor.”
I didn’t want to be left with only regrets in the future.
Of course, I’ll tell Albert first before I enter the contract. He’s the one who allowed me to come here, so I couldn’t enter it without telling him.
Even if he wouldn’t like me doing it, it’s still my decision in the end. I can’t just do whatever Albert would tell me to.
And as I recalled Albert, the cold look in his eyes flashed before my eyes. Thump. My head was pounding.
“…I’m in trouble.”
Alexander’s nightmare was a bit too effective.
His disaster gave me an answer regarding the dilemma of being a contractor or not, but at the same time, it was so vivid and realistic that it brought back some of the inner demons that I thought I already got rid of.
This was the reason why I’d been trying to keep my distance from Albert.
In the dream just now, Alexander brought out my fears and showed them to me. The first part of the dream concluded with Blanc’s death.
The second part of the dream didn’t focus on the fact that Albert and I had ended things between us. It showed how I was desperately trying to see him again.
There’s no denying it.
I love Albert.
At the end of that dream, I was left all alone, without him by my side any longer. What frightened me even more than him not loving me was that I could no longer see him.
What broke my heart was the possibility that the moments he and I spent together would just become fleeting memories over time.
I wasn’t truly conscious of how I’d be the topic of the rumors on people’s lips. Because I knew that this wasn’t what I’d be so afraid of and regret so terribly.
However, after we left the tower later, I still held firm to the plan of keeping distance from him for some time.
Albert and I needed some time apart, so that we both could confirm if these feelings were genuine or just temporary. Even though I knew how it might go for Albert, I didn’t know about myself.
However…
As the special situation we found ourselves in at the tower would be gone, and while he goes back to his normal life—if he still loves me…
If he won’t change his mind…
Then at that time, I would want to stay by his side.
Regardless of all the rumors.
Regardless of family and status differences.
We’ll work it out somehow.
After waking up from a dream so vivid that it was like reality, I transcended all the realistic reasons that previously held me back.