289 Work Harder

"W-what?" Lu Xinyi thought it was funny how her husband stuttered like this, but it wasn't the right time to tease him. 

"I said, I thought I was pregnant," she repeated, "but all the tests came out negative. I just feel…" She let out a dejected sigh, not understanding why she was upset in the first place. 

"Disappointed that you are not?" Shen Yi continued for her. She nodded in response. 

"I remember Grandma Lu telling me when I was younger that the women from the Sun families have a weird curse on them." 

"Curse? What curse?" Shen Yi furrowed his brows. People still believe in curses?

"Yes," Lu Xinyi avoided his questioning gaze, but Shen Yi tilted her chin up to make her look at him. "She said that women from the Sun family had difficulty in having a child, and if they bear once, it's always another girl and never a boy. Even Uncle He told me that my parents lost a child before having me. " 

"And this worries you because?" 

Lu Xinyi grunted, her self-control loosening up.

"Don't you get it, Yi? What if I can't give you a child? Would you hate me? What if in spite of leaving that wretched family, they still find a way to torment me? What if I can't—?" 

She choked back as her tears started to roll down her cheeks. She tried to turn her face away from him again, but Shen Yi was able to stop her by cupping her cheeks, his thumb wiping away the wetness.

"My poor little wife, why are you doing this to yourself?" Shen Yi softly chided her. He kissed her forehead and patted her head with one hand. 

"You're not mad?" 

Shen Yi chuckled and shook his head. This woman would be the death of him. Until now, she didn't realize how greatly she affected him.

"Of course not. Why would I be mad at you? I'm simply worried that you might be starting to regret marrying me with all the rumors spreading around us." He murmured, his gaze landing on his wedding band. 

Following his gaze, Lu Xinyi's breath hitched once she realized what he meant. 

"Of course not! Why would you think of that?!" she exclaimed. 

"Reasons. Reasons that you might not understand at the moment. I'm not as good as you thought I could be." He vaguely responded. 

Shen Yi closed his eyes for a moment and opened again to see her. 

"Your ex-fiance could take care of you more."

Shen Yi refused to admit it, but the arrangement between Li Yuren and Lu Xinyi would be a good choice between the Li and the Sun families. There were times he wondered if Lu Xinyi would be happy if he'd stepped in and married her instead. 

Knowing Li Yuren, he doubted that the man would mistreat her at any moment. Li Yuren was too prideful for that. He would rather let his hand burn than hit a woman. Shen Yi shared this attitude with him. He was too prideful to give up Lu Xinyi to another man. He would never let anyone stood a chance to take her away from him. 

Lu Xinyi couldn't fathom what was going on in her husband's mind. She took his hands into hers and held it tightly. 

Why was he even worried about this fiance she'd never met? Unless of course, he knew who it was. 

"You know who it was, don't you?" She asked. 

Shen Yi nodded, but he couldn't find the right words to tell her it was Li Yuren. What was he afraid of anyway? By the way Lu Xinyi looked at him, Shen Yi was reassured that she would not leave him for another man.

"Why are you doubting now? Do you think I could leave and forget you so easily? You've chosen me from the rest although you can get any woman you want…" 

"But you aren't the only one I want." He cut her off.

"That's not what I meant, Shen Yi! You are Shen Yi, Young Master of the Shen family. President of a group of companies. You could have any woman; yet, you still chose me. I, Lu Xinyi, who had nothing to offer you." 

A big drop of tear fell on their intertwined hands. 

"I wanted to give something to you in return, even if it's a child or recognition. I wanted you to be proud of me so until then, I have to work hard and prove that I deserve to stand beside you."

Shen Yi kept his silence, letting her speak whatever was in her mind. 

"So please, until that moment comes, wait for me, and then we could announce to the whole world how you forfeit your life to me." Lu Xinyi grinned, wiping her tears and making him arched a brow. 

"Wasn't it the other way around?" 

"Shut it. This is my moment. Don't ruin it." She laughed, her worries forgotten—now that she knew that Shen Yi didn't hate her. She held him as she settled on his lap, her head leaning against his chest. His scent enveloped her entirely, teasing her senses. 

"Xinxin, about having a child…" Shen Yi started after a long silence between them. "If you weren't leaving for Silver Leaf, you could be pregnant by now." 

Lu Xinyi's face flushed red, understand what he was implicating. She nodded and hid her face on his dress shirt. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him. 

"There's nothing to forgive, love. We'll just have to work harder once you're ready," Shen Yi would surely miss this, miss her. Separation from her would be one of the hardest things he'll have to do in his life. 

He would miss the way she cuddled beside him in their bed as she slept, miss the way she sang to herself while cooking in their kitchen when she thought no one was listening. Most of all, every smile she graced him every morning.