I woke to dad hollering at someone. I groaned from the pile of clothes I was curled on top of. That made me blink and look at the bedroom door. Dad had installed a simple hook and eye for privacy.
I couldn't believe I had shifted to wolf at some point during the night. It was dad's clothes I had made a bed of. I sighed to myself.
Apparently everything I had been through had affected me more than I realized, especially if I still needed the comfort of sleeping on dad's stuff.
He still kept the chewed up pair of shoes from when I was a puppy under his bed. I had found them about a week after his extended run after mom died, much the way I found myself this morning. I had gone to bed back then crying, wanting my dead mother and my missing father. I woke up with the old chewed up shoes under me, me in wolf-form under his bed, fresh naw marks on the old shoes.
They had been my go-to comfort whenever I woke up in the middle of the night as a kid. I remember pulling them out of dad's closet with puppy teeth and sleeping in them after a nightmare. I was small enough back then in wolf form that I had wriggled my whole rump into one of the shoes, laying across the other. He was furious that I had chewed them up. He had gone to school that morning embarrassed at having to wear moccasins. I was surprised he never got rid of them, even after all this time.
Since I was already wolf, I snuck out through the hole in the guest bedroom floor. I stayed under the trailer to scope out what was happening outside.
Derrick was on the back steps drinking coffee. I could hear Mahina in the bathroom.
The high school wrestling team was scrubbing my tent, my bike, and dad's truck. Dad was supervising. He moved around until he was between me and the boys. It wasn't like they could see me under here, but I took dad's hint and headed back in. I was quick to dress, unlatch the door, and head to the kitchen.
Mahina was just coming out of the bathroom, so I headed in after giving her a quick hug. I don't think I ever spent so much care on my morning routine. I still hurried though because I could hear dad getting impatient with his detention charges.
"Little Wolf!"
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"Hey Little Wolf."
They were waiting for me. I sauntered over to them.
"Thought detention happened at school. You lot must be feeling sorry for my dad out here all alone. I'm sure you aren't in that big a hurry to serve detention that you'd come out to get an early start."
None of them met my eyes. Dad and I shared a look.
"Dad, what normally happens on Saturday mornings?"
"Wrestling practice."
"So why would the wrestling team be working so hard to get out of wrestling practice?"
I stalked toward them. They were nervous but held their ground, exchanging glances. They were debating spilling the beans. I suddenly spun back toward dad.
"Maybe they have no skills and are embarrassed to be seen on the mat?"
Dad gave me the barest nod. I tackled Jimmy out of the blue, his back smacking the ground. I had him pinned in a hold I knew he could break out of. I put him through his paces, trying to gauge the emotions running through him. I caught the barest whiff of something that reminded me of Lone Wolf.
I literally jumped up and back, staring at Jimmy.
"Dad," I said hesitantly, not taking my eyes off of Jimmy, "who is the new wrestling coach? Anyone I know?"
"No, new guy got hired, does phys-ed and history, volunteered to coach some of the sports teams. What are you thinking?"
No one understood the words I spoke to dad. Great thing about having a language nut for a dad. One of our regular things to do while working out was go through words in different languages. He grew up speaking Russian and German, learned a few other languages across Europe. He taught all the languages at school.
"Stay calm," was the first thing I told him in German. "I make guess. I have no facts," spoken in Russian.
I turned away from the boys to face dad. I did my best to convey calm, knowing it wasn't going to work.
"Knife," in Italian. It relayed everything I was thinking, especially after the story he had shared with me.
His eyes flashed, glancing over the group of boys. With a growl he headed toward the school. After a few steps he started jogging. By the time he hit the street he was pounding the pavement in a full purposeful run, intent on his prey. I was glad I wasn't the one at the end of his chase.
"Well come on, pile in the truck. Let's go save your coach. Jimmy, give me your phone."
I grabbed dad's keys, told Derrick to get in the front with me. I hollered to Mahina to follow in her car.
Once I had the truck speeding toward the school, I called Chani on Jimmy's phone.
"Hey Chani, no, it's Little Wolf. No, I didn't break up with Mahina." I ignored Derrick's choking sounds. "Yeah, I'm only in town for the weekend. Mahina is here with me. So is Derrick for that matter. We're heading over to the General store when I'm done at the school with dad, hoping to catch story time."
I held the phone away from my ear then. Chani shared dad's opinion of me enjoying story time, thinking I was too old.
"Aren't you going to ask why I'm calling from your brother's phone?"
It got quiet on the other end.
"You remember that incident in sophomore year, the one where the girls ganged up on... yeah. Ok, just listen because I'm at the school and have to head off my dad. He's ticked at the new coach. Tell Jimmy that story when you see him, ok?"
I hung up on her and got out of the truck, throwing Jimmy his phone on the way into the school's gym. Derrick followed me in.
Dad was pacing around the gym. The guy in the center was trying to talk to dad, yelling about how his boys were missing practice because of dad's detention assignments. Dad was all human, but wolf-stalking him. Eyes intent on their target, no sound. The pacing continue. I was just relieved we got here before dad did something stupid. I had to grin at that thought, me watching over dad for a change.
I didn't stop moving once I was in the door, heading for the corner that held different equipment. The old wrestling mat was next to the parallel bars.
"Jimmy, down on the mat. Guys, gather around."
The guy being stalked by dad started yelling at me, who did I think I was taking over his boys and so on. The man's possessiveness, calling the boys his, was grating on my nerves. Dad ran interference for me. The guy didn't dare get close.
Jimmy and I faced off. When I spoke I made sure it was loud enough for the "coach" to hear.
"Now guys, what happens when someone uses an illegal move? Hmm? The whole team suffers when someone is disqualified. When you're practicing, you have to call out the illegal moves in order to protect the team. If no one calls it out, you risk it getting used on others. Understand?"
I gave the group of boys a hard look, letting them know their difficulty in speaking up endangered others.
"Now Jimmy, you're team captain right?"
Jimmy, crouched in position across from me, nodded. When he was a freshman I had been team captain. He knew I had always watched over my team, on and off the mat. I'd gotten him out of trouble a few times his freshman year.
"Well that makes you leader. If you don't call out illegal moves, how can you expect anyone else to? I want you to show me the most illegal move someone has ever pulled on you."
We wrestled, and Jimmy's hand found its way to my crotch, squeezing briefly. He rolled away, not wanting to face me, embarrassed.
I walked over to him, turned him around, held him at arms length for a second before pulling him into a hug. I whispered in his ear.
"Your team is family, bro, you have to watch out for them. Do you know if anything more than touch happened?"
"Isn't it enough," he choked out.
I patted his shoulder, turned to the man who dared... I had trouble finishing the thought. I walked over and stood next to dad.
"I'm glad the guys trust you dad. They knew they were protected around you. Worth the price of anything you threw at them the last few weeks. As far as you go," I said to the guy in front of us, "you're putting in your resignation."
He started to sputter, claiming we had no right to demand anything, that there was nothing we could do to him. Dad and I were twin statues, wolf stares making him nervous and more boisterous to make up for it.
I wasn't surprised when the principal walked in. I was surprised he was followed by the full women's council. I hadn't expected the full counsel to come, especially that quickly. My call to Chani had produced results.
I looked at Jimmy. He took a deep breath and headed over to them. He was nervous. I gave a look to the rest of the team, silently urging them to support their captain. They followed Jimmy over, standing behind him.
I bumped dad on the shoulder. He gave a small growl. We weren't needed anymore. I nodded to the ladies behind the principal before I headed out. The women's council had its own authority, and heaven help anyone who messed with their kids. Dad followed after a second, Derrick right behind him.
"I'm going for a run. Meet you at the pointe tonight?"
"Yeah dad."
I was proud of the fact the guys had turned to my dad. Maybe they couldn't confide in him right away about something like that, but they had been trying.
Dad felt like an outsider sometimes, especially after Mom died. I knew when we talked later, I would remind him how accepted he was by the tribe. I was glad he would have to pick up some of the sports again. It would keep him connected, keep him busy.
I gave Derrick the truck keys and got in the car with Mahina. With a quick reassuring kiss, I gave her directions to the General Store. Looked like I was going to make story time after all.
There was a nice weekend crowd at the store. I positioned Mahina behind the small crowd and off to the side where she would have a better view.
Crouching down, I pilfered a few items. A fake fur wolf-tail belt, a knitted wolf hat with tassels hanging down, fur cuffs around the ankles and wrists that sold well during Halloween.
I snuck behind the bookcase. The girl that was doing the book reading had already chosen a book. I pushed a certain book forward, letting out a whine.
She had seen me, was trying not to laugh at me.
"Looks like Little Wolf wants one of his favorites told, even though Little Wolf isn't so little these days. It's been awhile since Little Wolf has visited in person. You guys are in for a treat!"
The story was one where my mom took me to go play with rabbits, which made no sense to the young wolf I was. As the girl read the story, I acted it out.
My leap onto the low bookcase was graceful. My drop before the gathering of children had them holding their breath. I scratched the way a wolf would, sniffed, barked, ran around, leaped and howled where the story needed it.
"It wasn't until Little Wolf watched his father leap to take down an elk to feed the pack, that he understood. While the playful leaps with the rabbit was fun, it also taught him skills he would need. He turned to his mother in confusion.
'Why does the rabbit teach us to leap high, making us better hunters?'
'Because one rabbit might stop your hunger for a moment, but one elk feeds us all, making the rabbit safe.
You only saw the rabbit as prey. You had thought there was nothing to be learned from so small a creature as the rabbit. Now you have learned otherwise.
All beings deserve respect. You can always learn from others. The whole world is connected my Little Wolf, and the spirits of all animals are friends and brothers.'
I went around the gathering after the story, rubbing my head on the kids' shoulders, getting petted. I led them in a dance. I invited them to howl with me.
This was something I had done since the first book had gotten published. There were over twenty books in the Little Wolf series, tales of my puppy childhood and my mom's lessons to me, set in children's stories.
Play acting today was a way to reconnect with my mom, to remind myself that the spirits were connected. She had told the stories, Anna had gotten them published. Mom had done the art work.
I made my way over to a boy in a wheelchair. His brother was running around, whooping it up. This boy was tied in so he wouldn't slip, his withered arms and legs proof that someone would have to care for him his whole life, his head off to the side on occasion. I knelt down in front of him.
"Little brother, I didn't hear you howl."
An arm moved, he groaned.
"Nonsense little brother, of course you can. Howl little one, picture it in your mind. I will hear you."
He focused on me then and I smiled at him. He let out a long moan. My eyes lit up.
"You have a beautiful voice little one. Can I share it with them?"
A movement that was definitely a yes.
I repeated the howl I had heard from him, catching every inflection in his moan, translating it into a howl.
With his mother's permission I untied him, picked him up and held him carefully in front of me. I was careful to support his head. I moved around the room.
Long smooth strides, enough of a leap to make him feel the motion. Slow spins where his arms went out. I laughed as he enjoyed the dance. He moaned again, longer and louder than before. I repeated his howl.
I took him back to his chair. His joy was obvious. His mom looked like she was about to cry, one hand over her mouth. I got him settled. I tied the wolf tail to the side of his chair, putting the tail in front of him, putting his hand on it.
"Now, little brother, I have a task for you. There are chairs made with little joysticks to control the chair's movement. I want you to grasp that tail. It will be hard. It will be frustrating. Don't give up! Work on as much control as you can, so some day you can move your chair. I want to see you dance on your own little brother."
His eyes followed me when his head could not. I don't think such a thing had ever occurred to him. Would he ever have complete independence? No. But was there a new aspect to life that he could enjoy? I could tell by his smile that there was.