Chapter 100 - I Need Closure

''Cut'' Xia said and Alice emerged out of the pool in her bikini top and down. Xia handed her a towel and she wrapped it around her waist as she got out of the pool.

''Little Miss, is this really necessary? You already know how to swim, what is the use of practising?'' Xia asked as they sat on the poolside lazy chairs.

''I still need to practise. I don't want Mr. Cobbs to feel cheated. A lot of people are watching this documentary carefully. If I as the main ambassador fails to live up to expectations, won't that make me lose face? Not just that, my sister will also lose face and you as my bestie will also lose face''

''Why would I lose face when you are the one working?'' Xia shook her head and picked up her glass of juice to sip.

''This is the first time I am getting this kind of gig, I need to do well so that everyone watching and waiting to see me fail will eat their own words''

''You mean, Zeya and Mimi? Those are the only two who might be cussing you out by now''

'Those two really have it cut out for me. but, what can I do about it? I mean, it wasn't my fault that I was born pretty and stunning. I don't understand why they can be so annoying. I don't even have to do anything before they try to bully me. aren't they tired of living such hard lives? I could never pretend to be what I'm not even for a second''

'That is you and you are different from them''

''So, are you ready to tell me what's going on? You still haven't said a word about last night and Mr. Cobbs suddenly left this morning. I met him leaving your room this morning''

''He came to talk and we did'' Xia said.

''I see. So, what are your thoughts? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to talk about it''

''My thoughts, well. I don't think I have a lot of thoughts…''

That morning….

Xia opened the door and saw Connor. ''What do you want?''

''Can we talk? I promise not to take much of your time''

Xia stepped aside and Connor entered inside before she closed the door.

''Before I say anything I want to first apologise. I shouldn't have kept such a sensitive thing from you in the first place. Whatever reason I will give wouldn't be tangible enough to prove that my intentions were pure from the start. Sleeping with Via was a mistake. A terrible one that I regretted so much, but I don't regret having Karl with me now. He is such an adorable kid. He is nothing like his mother and I love him so much''

''Via already told me what happened between you two. You don't have to explain anything to me''

''I want to. I don't want you to misunderstand my intentions towards you. I didn't purposefully hide the fact that I had a son and I was connected to Via. I did it because I wanted you to get closer to me, become comfortable around me again before I could share such thing with you''

'But, didn't it occur to you that I might still find out, especially with the way Via is crazy about you? Connor, I was really hoping to give us a chance but right now, I don't think I am in that state anymore. Finding out that you and my former best friend has a son together is something that I really didn't expect, but you both said it was an accident and I do understand. But, Connor, she and the boy are now your family. You shouldn't have come to shake me up like this. If anything, you shouldn't have appeared before me or try to bring me into your world again. It didn't work out that time and now… every time, we are always this close to confirming our feelings to each other, something always happens. Maybe this is the universe warning us, warning me to not get pushed into your life again''

''Xia, you are the only woman I've ever loved. I am not married to Via. We just have a child together which we agreed for her to let me take custody of when the child is 6 years''

''But, he is more than 6 years now and you still haven't been able to shake her off. Via is in love with you''

''She doesn't love me, Xia. She just loves the money; the security she gets by been connected to me''

''Xia…''

''I need closure, Connor and having you here is making things hard for me. When I left your side that year, it took me a long time to get over you. It was hard for me. I barely made it through because I happened to meet Natalie and Alice at that time. I don't want to go through that anymore. I don't want to be the reason why you would have problems with the mother of your child''

''Xia, please. Give me some time to settle those issues. I will clean up the mess I made and come back to you''

''You should have done that before coming to me. You should have settled those issues before coming to shake me up with empty promises. Do you know how I feel? I feel like a fool for falling for you again. I feel like a fool for repeating the same mistake. Everything from the start was wrong. You lied to me about so many things Connor. I didn't know anything about you apart from your name. we were friends for two years and all I knew was what you let me know about you''

''Back then, I made a promise with my parents. I wanted to live myself without their interference and that was to also not reveal my identity to anyone''

''Still, Connor. Still…'' Xia's eyes turned watery. ''Why was it me? there were so many people who wanted to be your friend. A lot of girls were dying for your attention. Why did you pick me?''

''Because you were the only girl who didn't seem smitten by me. Anytime I saw you, you were more flustered than smitten and that got me interested in you. I couldn't tell what you were thinking because you were always so organised''

Xia sighed. ''I don't want to be shaken by you anymore. Just don't do anything and leave me alone''

''I will be going back today but I will be back tomorrow since we have to do the home cooking interview together. After that, I will go back. I will give you time but I can't guarantee that I will be able to leave you alone. I can't live without you. You can beat me, scream at me, do whatever you want but please, don't tell me to leave you alone because I can't do that''

''Your selfish jerk!''

''I'm sorry Kim Xia but I love you so much and I don't want to live another meaningless live without you'' Connor pulled her into a hug before going out.

….

Xia looked at Alice and smiled, 'I decided to cut of ties with him after here. I don't want to be the reason for his family having problems''

''But, Xia. Don't you think that even without you those problems would still be there? he doesn't love that Via woman, he never did. He had you alone in his heart for so many years. I think this woman wants to manipulate you and it's working really well''

''What do you mean?''

'Women like that always know that they would never get the man so they try to sabotage the woman the man actually wants. But, she needs to learn this the hard way. A man would never give his heart to you if he doesn't want to. With men, love is an intentional act not fuelled by their emotions. That is why a man can sleep with a woman he doesn't love but can love a woman he hasn't slept with before''

'Since when were you a love doctor?''

'I've been reading a lot online. There is this blogger called 'Alice is my world', he is my fan and he has been send me some of his write-ups to read. I learnt a lot from reading them''

''Then, if you've learnt so much, why are you acting as if you don't know that Josh has feelings for you? I mean everyone knows it. You are the only one who doesn't''

Alice smiled bitterly and shook her head. ''Josh is not my cup of tea. After Harry Winchester, I vowed to never fall for a rich man''

''Not every man is like Harry Winchester''

''That is the point. Josh is like wine fine. He just gets better every time and that is the problem. How do I put it? He is perfect. Too perfect. I still haven't seen anything that I don't like about him and that is not good. Those were the same things I saw in Harry Winchester, but this time around, JSC is even way up here. I am just a small time actress who recently got recognition. I can't afford to get into scandals right now''

Purplebride's corner: Hi everyone. If you've read this far and haven't left me a review, I do hope you give me one. It will motivate me alot.

I have a lot of work to do but because I love this book and I also love all of you that are supporting this work, I wake up and even if I want to give everything up, I end up writing again.

Just a little review would be great. Thanks!