Chapter 117 - Dominik's Future

The director looked at Śliwiński then at his grandfather as if he did not understand whether he could see well. Dominik thought he had to take the initiative.

"Your grandfather invited me. He said you have a very hard time with what happened between us."

Maciek Werner's eyes filled with tears.

"How can you be here? How can you look at me with those divine eyes? How can you ... not spit in my face?"

"I don't know," Dominik admitted. Maciej's grandfather quietly retreated into the corridor, leaving them alone, but despite the fact that Śliwiński crossed the threshold, he did not close the door behind him. "What you did to me was disgusting, you hurt me a lot, but that's no reason to kill yourself. I'm not expecting you to die."

"No reason!" Werner laughed hysterically. There was something ghastly about that laugh and Dominik, feeling an icy chill down his back, took a step back. He had the impression that he was dealing with a madman. "You ripped my heart out! You trampled it!"

The young actor was stunned by Werner's words. Did he think or did Maciej blame him for the whole situation?

"I never gave you hope," said Dominik dryly. Either he didn't understand something, or Werner had a somewhat misconceived notion of who was to blame for the whole situation. It needed to be fixed.

The director fell silent.

"I hate you," said Werner after a long moment, "and I love you. God, how much I love you! And I hate just as much for what you did to my heart! For the fact that I cannot be with you, and without you ... But I hate myself the most."

Maciej Werner was definitely not in a balanced emotional state now and probably more than Dominik, he needed a psychiatrist now. But the psychiatrist was not here now, there was only Śliwiński facing a man who literally loved him madly.

"Why?" he asked Werner. Will the director admit to himself and to Dominik that he did something wrong? Will he be able to ask for forgiveness? Śliwiński was able to give it to him, but he wanted to see repentance.

"Because I ... I ..." Werner, however, was unable to arrange his thoughts. He clenched his fists.

Śliwiński looked at him in silence. Did he hate Maciek? Was he afraid of him? Dominik had a man in front of him who was in so much pain that he could not cope with it. He couldn't even understand what was happening. Could Dominik hate a man who looked so pitiful, who was so overwhelmed by suffering? Dominik remembered that feeling. Desperation, pain, confusion. When he was in such a state, Andrzej was at his side. Who will be at Werner's side?

Dominik did nothing to feed Werner's illusions. He wasn't seducing him. He did not provoke. He wasn't flirting. He treated him normally as an ordinary business partner, although maybe not entirely, because for a while he thought that they could become friends. Even so, as part of Werner's illusions, he felt somewhat responsible for them. Perhaps, if Dominik was not friendly, but completely professional ... But Franciszek Werner said that his grandson's fascination began seven years ago and then Dominik did not know him yet and was just starting his career.

Being an actor was fun. Śliwiński liked to bring joy to people with his roles. People liked to look at him. Until he met Werner, he thought it was a good and fair deal. But how many more people like Maciej, caught up in a sick love born of illusions, were hiding in society? They were normal, professional, and good on the surface, but they carried a madness within them that was just waiting to be activated by someone like Dominik.

"Sorry," Śliwiński said gently. "I'm sorry I can't love you. Not everyone is allowed to be together, and I know how much it hurts, but you also hurt me. You took something very important and precious from me and then you were saying that you are doing it in the name of love. But which love makes you bear suffering to your beloved? If what you've done is a sign of love in your eyes, I feel sorry for you."

Yes, in view of this unhappy and pathetic man, Dominic could feel only pity.

"I just wanted you to understand!" Werner dug his nails into his head.

Dominik felt sorry. Poor, unhappy young director still couldn't get out of his imaginary world. He absolutely needed psychiatric help.

"I understand. And you?" He asked. "You said you hated me. And that you hate yourself. So you wanted me to understand love or hate because it's probably the same for you. I'm sorry, really. However, you have to accept reality. And the reality is, I'll never love you. Never. By hurting me, you yourself bury your chances of even friendship with me. Please do this, accept the truth. For your own good. And for me, if you still have a little bit of that love you mentioned."

Śliwiński decided it was time to leave. Already in the corridor, he stopped and looked at the director.

"You know, this script that you wrote for me is very good. I was really glad to play this character. It's a pity that I'll never be in this movie. You have a talent. Don't waste it. As you know, I didn't file a report with the police. Take it as a second chance and start living reality, not fantasy."

At the end of the corridor, Maciej's grandfather and Andrzej were standing. They must have heard every word. The actor walked over to them and took his lover's hand.

"We're going back," he said.

"Mr. Śliwiński" said the old man. "I thank you."

Dominik shook his head.

"You have nothing to thank me for" Dominik really thought so. He hadn't done anything to make Werner feel better, moreover, he was absolutely convinced that while he hadn't done anything wrong, the whole situation was somehow his fault. So he added: "I think ... I think you should ask a psychiatrist for help. Let's go now," he whispered to Nowicki, who shook his hand warmly.

They walked down the stairs, holding hands. Themselves. The old man stayed upstairs. He must have been watching over his grandson so that he would not try to do something stupid again.

"Are you okay?" Andrzej asked softly.

"Umh. Less or more. I'd like to speak to your boss. Do you think she'll find a moment for me?"

"I think so. You still haven't given her an answer regarding the ad. You made a decision?"

"It all depends on the course of the conversation. 'Cause you see, I decided I wouldn't act in movies anymore."

"What?!"

"Acting has never been my passion. Yes, it was fun, but… and besides… Besides, I don't want to act for the sake of acting and money. Werner's film was supposed to be my last one, but since I don't act in it, my career will end now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"And you want to tell Mrs. Janka about it?"

"Yes. I would play in this spot, but if I'm not going to pursue my career it could have an impact on the campaign."

"You're too honest, you know?"

"There is no such thing as 'too honest'. You should know that, my sweet blackmailer."

"You may not remember me this?"

"Why? This is one of the best memories I have."

"No kidding."

"Not at all. After all, I met you then."

"To the car, now."

"What? Why?"

"Because I have to kiss you, and I don't want to do it in this place. Ride inside."

Dominik laughed and took the passenger's seat. Sometimes something truly wonderful can come out of something apparently bad.

***

Janina Pasek was looking at Dominik very penetratingly and a little sternly. Her gaze resembled that of a stern math teacher who, looking at her favorite student, wonders why this brat hadn't done his homework for the first time.

Dominik, however, did not feel embarrassed by her gaze. On the contrary, he had the impression that this severe teacher was not thinking about how to punish a wayward student, but wondered if perhaps something bad had happened in his house that caused the boy to fail to fulfill his duties as a student. After all, she was Andrzej's homeroom teacher.

"Dominik" Janina Pasek finally spoke after a long moment of silence. The woman was forewarned about the matter with which he came to her, so she had time to think about the subject. "You look better than I could have expected from your adventures. I must admit your eyes are shining surprisingly bright. Andrzej is also today very... radiant."

The young actor blushed.

"Today's breakfast was extremely nutritious and tasty," he explained, smiling mysteriously.

Indeed, his breakfast today consisted of pancakes with white cheese, white coffee, and Andrzej's kisses. Delicious.

"Looking at you now," smiled Mrs. Janina, "I can't imagine anyone else who would better sell something ... delicious."