Chapter 168 - Goodbye Fantasies

Marczak brought him a mobile and left. He did not close the door completely, but closed it enough, giving him a sense of privacy. Andrzej felt awkward watching him disappear from his own bedroom to give him more freedom.

This Marczak was completely different from the one he knew at the beginning. If it was his love for him, there was nothing for Andrzej to do but feel compassion for him, because he did not intend to give up his relationship with Dominik.

The actor surrounded him with sincere and tender love. He was sensitive and naive, alluring and sweet. He relied on Andrzej completely and trusted him in everything. He charmed, seduced, tempted, but also gave all the beauty of his body and soul. He was natural and simple, wonderfully shy, fragile, yet strong. He was the complete opposite of the arrogant, insolent and confident Marczak. So Marczak's relationship with Nowicki would have a completely different, more explosive character ...

Andrzej paled.

Did he really think what his relationship with Marczak would look like?

He immediately looked at the phone's display. There was one unread mail waiting for him. Only one, he breathed a sigh of relief, that is, his silence did not make Dominik panic. He read the message and felt the warmth of the actor's love in his heart. He wanted to write back when he suddenly realized that he couldn't tell him the truth about where he was and why. For the first time since they met, Andrzej couldn't tell him the truth. He had promised him honesty once, no lies, and now he was unable to bring himself to it.

He hid his face in his hands. After a few moments, he felt the warmth of his breath on it.

What was he supposed to do?

"I can't wait for you to come back. You can't even imagine how I miss you. I needed you so badly that night, and I had to be content only with the memories of the moments together. Today I lie in bed all day. I am gathering strength for your return. When you come back, I will whisper all my longings in your ear. I love you. I love you. I love ... "

The words themselves formed sentences following not the reason but the heart. He didn't have to write about all the events since the last email. It was enough for Dominik to pass on what was most important - his longing and love.

Andrzej sent an email and felt sad. He wanted to be with the one he loves. He really needed him. His heart and even his body felt uncomfortable wanting something not fully defined, which was, however, inextricably linked with Dominic.

This anxiety, and a longing that was different than always, may have been related to what happened at night. If Andrzej was in fact under the influence of drugs, strange things could happen to his body. He was still too darkened physically and mentally to know for sure, but Marczak suggested that the drug given to him was supposed to make him feel excited or submissive. Or both.

The anxiety suddenly took on a different, deeper character. What happened to his body then? Has Andrzej had sex with someone and does not remember it? With Fiorelli? With Marczak? With someone else?

Panic seized him.

"Marczak!" He called softly. He was afraid of the answer, but he had to ask the question.

The man reappeared after a few seconds.

"Yes?"

"Marczak, was I tonight ...?" but how to ask about it? "Did we ... Did I have sex that night?"

Waiting for an answer was a torture that Dominik's former manager seemed to be deliberately prolonging.

"What if so?" Andrzej heard finally, and his heart skipped a beat. "Someone gave you a very strong drug. Aphrodisiac if you prefer. Your body was on fire with lust and pain. Would it really be so terrible if, without Dominik at hand, you slept with someone else?"

So though!

Nowicki's head fell helplessly on his chest.

"You're absurd, you know?" Marczak growled. "Why? Why do you fucking care so much about Dominik? Why can't you look at anyone else, even in the moments of greatest need? Why, even when your body screams in tension, do you only want him?"

Anger and frustration poured out of Marek Marczak as if a gigantic hole had formed in the barrel that had accumulated them.

"Only him," he continued. "Always only him. It pisses me off. Why? Why Dominik?"

"He is my first love" Andrzej confessed quietly.

"What?"

"I'm twenty-eight years old and I've never been in love. Only Dominik ..."

"Are you telling me you've never been with a man or a woman before?"

"I've had lovers, girls before, but I've never loved. It was Dominik who taught me what love is. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hurt you. But he is for me ..."

Marczak touched his chin and suddenly their lips were pressed together in a tense kiss. Surprised and weakened, Andrzej did not even have time to object.

"It was goodbye," said Marczak sadly and moved away from him. "I just said goodbye to my fantasies about you. And about Dominik. You are a beautiful couple and I have never seen love like this, so I was jealous of it. Maybe I'll be there for a long time. You were so excited that night that anyone else in your position would settle for anyone. Even a rubber doll. But you, in this Italian's room, locked yourself in the bathroom. When I took you out of there and put you in the shower, I offered to ease you. You didn't want me or anyone else. Only Dominika. He wasn't there, so you had to struggle. And you've exhausted yourself, without complaint, for Dominik. How can I fight this feeling?"

"Marczak, I ..."

The manager shook his head.

"I like you, Nowicki, but you will not be my white whale. I'll find someone with whom I have a chance."

"I think that's a good solution," he agreed. "Thank you for everything and if you could tell where my clothes are ..."

"You're not going anywhere," said Marczak firmly. "You have no one at home to look after you, and at this point you should be careful."

"But ... I don't want to abuse ..."

"Take it easy. We can't be lovers, but maybe we can become buddies?"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't like repeating myself," his voice became firm.

It was a strange situation. Quirky, one could say, but Marczak was already behaving as befits him. He returned to normal and Andrzej felt a bit of relief.

Maybe this guy wasn't really in love with him after all? Maybe he just confused his feelings and emotions and gave them a meaning they didn't have.

Marczak brought him fresh underwear and Andrzej, guided by his male pride, decided to go to the kitchen for dinner. He failed. His legs failed him before he could reach for his pants. How long fell beside the bed and was left to Marczak's help. There was no way he could leave this place like this. At least not on his own. So he was doomed to remain under the care of Marczak.

That same evening, he called Patrycja Maj and apologized that he would not be able to conduct the session. Of course, he did not reveal any details, he only stated that he felt bad, which was completely truthful. He hoped he would have enough rest by Monday to welcome Dominik with dignity and as promised.

Meanwhile, he was condemned to the company of Marczak.

It was difficult to talk to him at first. However, they quickly went in about Dominik's test shots and were able to exchange their thoughts somehow. Slowly but surely, they broke the ice and were finally able to talk normally, despite the earlier confession of love and the fact that Andrzej's mouth still felt the taste of his.

***

Nowicki got out of the taxi feeling every movement in his body. Marczak suggested that he should not go to work today and let his body recover, but Andrzej decided that it would be suspicious. He didn't want to arouse any rumors and suspicions, because although he was innocent in the whole incident, the case was ugly. It was better to be there and have your finger on the pulse if you had to repair any damage.

His poor condition did not escape the watchful eyes of Sylwia, the assistant, however. The girl smiled understandingly and asked:

"Crazy weekend?"

"You don't even know how much," he muttered.

And you won't know, he thought, because he wasn't going to share his experiences with anyone these days.

He was sore despite the painkillers. It was a pain, but it was bearable. It wouldn't be a big problem if all his limbs weren't so stiff and his skin wasn't so sensitive to touch. Andrzej was disappointed and furious because he wanted to be in the best shape for Dominik's arrival.