Chapter 118 - Heavy Head, Heavy Heart

"Zichen, what is this? Why did you leave Wangli alone?" his mother questions on the phone. As soon as she got to know that Wangli has been crying since she came from the date and the fact that Zichen left her is something she didn't expect. 

"Mother...I didn't exactly leave her. I told her to go home. I had other things to take care of that are more important than her" he says calmly yet the hurricane swirling in his mind is making his head hurt. 

"But what happened?" she asks. 

He sighs, frustrated, "Nothing to get worried about. And please, don't set anyone without my permission." 

He does not want to talk to her. The fact that she forced him to go to dinner with him, makes him annoying. He does not want to snap at her because of his sour mood. 

His mother does not force him as she knows he will not be negotiating on this topic. "As you say" replies she, and as if noticing the crankiness in his voice she asks, "Son, are you well? "

"I am fine. I'll talk to you later. Night" saying it in one go, he hangs up before she can say anything. It's not the first time he has done this and it's also not new to his mother. 

Aimlessly driving the car seems more irritating than calming. He has been driving the car for two hours without any plan where to go. He does not want to go home or anywhere. He wants to be alone yet he wants to be near her. He wants to feel the warmth of her embrace, the sweet smell that makes his nerves calm, and her steady breathing bringing life to him. But he has fucked up.

They fight, a lot, but they still make up at the end but this time he has this feeling that she is genuinely very upset. 

He shouldn't have let her go but it wouldn't be a right choice either to hold her back. 

He grips the steering wheel tightly the more he thinks. The moon shines brightly up his head, the cool air hitting his face but he is not concerned about them. 

Shi Lian, she is what he had on his mind, in his heart. Since the day they met, she crept inside her head and everywhere. 

The way she said she tried, he felt as if she is tired of this whole thing, the relationship, him but at some parts, he doesn't want to believe that. He had this faith that she is only mad and will come around when she cools down. 

God, he had this strong urge to turn his car, go straight to her house and get inside in her bed. But he can't. Fuck, restraining from not disclosing their relationship is getting harder and harder. 

He checks his phone, hoping, she will message but the disappointment remains as time passes. He should give her a call, say sorry to her but she does not want to hear that. She wants to tell her about him, shows him the real he. He cannot comprehend why does she want to know about his family and all? She knows him, the way he is, his likes and dislikes yet she told she doesn't know him at all. 

Slowing his car, he dials her number but the robotic voice again pops saying the phone is switched off. She won't be picking up. 

Who can he blame? He cannot blame Wangli, or his mother or the leech who was dining with her or anyone except him. 

He can only wait, wait until she calms down but will waiting really work? Sometimes it's this waiting that ends everything and leaves you in regret for all your life. 

**

Waking up with a headache, Zichen blinks, slowly opening his eyes. The morning sunlight focuses making everything blind. Snuggling, he wakes up. The eye bags under his eyes show he hasn't been well. He reached home at 4 am, having no clue what he should do and without changing his clothes he laid in his bed, and soon fell asleep. 

Rubbing his eyes, the vision comes to view and the first thing he sees is the alcohol bottle lying on the nightstand, empty.

Coming straight home at 4 am, the first he did was going to the small bar and taking out whatever strong liquor he had. He drank almost two bottles, drowned his emotions with it, and interesting it worked for him to get into sleep.

"Shit" he mutters, rubbing his temples. His headache seems worse now that he is conscious. The smell of liquor floats from his half-buttoned shirt and pants. Wincing, he gets up and goes to freshen up. He has no idea what time is it today and he has no plans to care about the company today as well. 

50 minutes later, he steps out from the bathroom, wearing a robe. His hair is wet and drops of water falling from the strands. 

Drying his hair, he goes inside the walk-in closet and picks his usual dress— a white shirt, black pants, and jacket. He decides to go without a tie, leaving the two buttons open. 

Pinning the cuffs and straightening his suit, he walks out of the closet. 

Carrying a small amount of hope, he goes to his bed and grabs his phone. Opening the screen, he checks the log, messaging, and everything but nothing. Not a single call, text, or anything from her. Only Rong's missed calls. 

Sighing, he shoves his phone inside his breast pocket and leaves the room. 

It's already past 9:30 and he is late, he will clean his room later. 

Getting inside the car, he chucks in the car key and the car comes alive. Getting out of his area, he sets to go to the office already in a damp mood. Damn, the alcohol is reacting making his head throb. He thought it will make the pain go away but it's doing the exact opposite reaction. 

His phone rings and he immediately looks but his face falls as the name floats on the screen. It's Rong. He has no mood to hear but he is bound to care about the company. 

"Yes?" he says, accepting his call. 

"Sir, are you alright? I tried calling you earlier" Rong says like a worried manager should and continues, "Sir are you not coming today? "

"I'm on my way" he answers firmly. 

"oh... O.. Um... Alright, sir. You are never late so I thought you won't be coming today" he says, fearing rolling over him. 

"I am coming. Now hang up" he snaps and with that Rong hangs up the phone. 

He wants to scream because everything that is going is making him go mad. God, he wants to scream his lungs out, take out the frustration that is eating him. Wish he could, he will be less sick then. 

**

What a dreadful morning! Why does she need to go to the company? She does not want to get up from her bed or do anything. She is tired mentally and has no energy to focus on the company's issues. But she does not have a choice with her.

Turning off the alarm for the third time, she finally gets up. Her hair's a mess, half of them are sticking to her face. Lowering her legs so her feet touching the cool floor, she reaches to take the glass of water from the nightstand. Slowly sipping and gulping the whole glass, at last, she goes to freshen up. She needs to do keep her mind occupied or else she will again be the victim of depression. 

She reaches downstairs, wearing a simple violet dress and matching heels. Her mother brightens seeing her. "Good morning, Shi" her mother chirps. 

Forcing a smile, she says, "Morning mother."

"Come and have breakfast quickly. You are going to be late" Sha Sha says, setting the plate for her. 

She has no appetite and usually, she does not eat breakfasts. 

"I am not a hungry mother," Shi Lian says, with an apologetic smile.

"Shi, you cannot always skip breakfast. It will affect badly for your health" her mother says, making a valid point. 

Shi Lian sighs, "Pack them. I'll eat on my way to the company. Is that okay?"

Sha Sha smiles widely, "That's more like it. "

With the hash browns and buns in her hand, she makes her way to where the car is. Passing pleasant greetings to the driver, she gets inside and drops the container and her bag on the seat beside her. 

The car starts moving, out of the gates snd on the main road. Shi Lian is debating whether to eat or not. She isn't hungry but, oh well, the smell of hash browns is too tempting. 

She takes a bite of hash browns and God it tastes delicious. Hash browns are one of her favorites so there is no way she was going to say no to that. 

Her phone rings, making her come to reality. She looks at the screen and winches seeing Zichen's name. She isn't in the mood yet to talk and what should she even talk about? He can't even answer her one question properly. She slides to decline but the phone rings again. She declines again and switches off her phone. She will handle it later when Xiaoxiao or the others call.