Chapter 7：Having mixed feelings

"That's correct," Anna agreed quietly. "That was something that really happened, wasn't it? It's not something you just came up with."

Grimacing, Alex tapped uncomfortably on his nose for a moment before forcing his hand back down and inclining his head in response. "It was real."

"And you still haven't recovered," Anna sighed. "Your wife would probably be disappointed in you."

He choked, then dissolved into a series of coughs. "Y-you know?"

"You're over six hundred years old," she said to him. "And the man in the story gained riches, artifacts, magical powers, and more, remember?" She lifted her right hand and dragged it through her thick hair. "Plus, you were way more emotionally invested in the story and the woman's motivations for this man to have not been you."

Alex smiled weakly at her. "I apologize then, for being such a fool."

"You are indeed foolish," she decided, looking at him, "But I don't think you're a bad person. You just didn't know what you wanted and you were dumb. It happens. It sucks and that doesn't mean you can write off what you did, but most conflicts don't occur because someone randomly feels like attacking someone else. They usually happen because of a disagreement somewhere, a misunderstanding." She paused, then smiled at him reassuringly, "And people are always learning and changing. People adapt. It's why we've been around for so long." Another pause. "Some longer than others."

He smiled at the gentle jab. "Perhaps."

"Not to be presumptuous, but," Anna hesitated, before exhaling and forcing herself to continue. "Did you think I was her?"

"I still do," Alex said firmly. "But you're not the her I knew. You're… the spirit of her in a new form."

"Did you just call me her reincarnation?" Anna demanded, appalled.

Realizing that he'd made a mistake, he pauses, expression turning cautious. "I apologize. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."

It was her turn to grimace when she considered the assessment she'd just given him. "I'm not her."

"I know," he agreed. His eyes turned sad, even as his mouth quirked up into a strange, half-hearted kind of smile. "She died after all."

"It's important that you remember that," Anna said firmly. "I'm your roommate. We may even become friends. I'm not your wife."

"You could be," he offered, hopeful.

"Not right now," she said flatly, "And maybe not ever. I'm with you for three years. If we become friends, I may stay longer. But if you try to turn me into your old wife, I'll leave as soon as these three years are up and you will never see me ever again."

"No!" he exclaimed, panicking, "No! Don't disappear! I'll be good! We can be friends! Just friends! I won't—" Alex struggled to speak, his face going deathly pale. "You don't ever have to love me," he said quietly, his eyes fearful.

Realizing her mistake, Anna immediately sat upright, reaching out to take one of his hands into her own. His hands were large, with broad palms and long fingers. "I'm sorry," she said, biting at her lip. "I shouldn't have said that, especially after what you just told me. I didn't mean it that way."

"Th-then, what did you mean?" he stuttered out.

"I only meant that if you want to have a relationship with me - friendship, romance, whatever - it has to be with me and not the person you're remembering."

"I can do that," he said weakly, trying to smile at her. "You're very different from her, you know. You're bolder, more sure of yourself."

Anna squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "That's a good start, but that was still a comparison," she told him. "Think of me as someone new altogether." After a moment, she added, "I don't want to compete with an impossible existence."

"You won't," he promised her immediately, reaching out with his other hand to capture hers. "I won't let that happen."

"Alright," she agreed. "I believe you'll do your best." Releasing his hands, she got to her feet. "I'm going to back to my room for a bit. I'd like some time to think. I'll see you at dinner?"

"Yes, of course," he agreed quickly, standing to see her out. "Do you remember how to get back to your rooms?"

"I made it here, didn't I?"

"I wasn't sure if Lissa had guided you," he admitted sheepishly. "Though I know you're capable."

"You're darned right I am," she muttered. "I'll see you later then," she said and then hightailed it out of the study and back to her rooms. She passed Lissa in the hall, but whatever look she had on her face must have warned the maid off because she made it without having to fend off any efforts to help clean.

Stepping into her study, she quickly locked the door behind her. Then, she went through the bathroom to her bedroom to lock that door, too. Returning to the study to sit at the nicely carved desk that had been placed up against a bright, big window, she stared blankly at the stationery and pens in front of her.

Suddenly, she abruptly brought both hands up to her face and smacked both hands against her cheeks, causing a resounding slapping sound.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," she muttered, drawing her hands together to close her face as she continued the mantra. "This is crazy, holy cow, oh my god."

And for someone who'd had everything in her life sorted and mostly planned out, this was likely the ultimate nightmare. The train tracks of her life had been uprooted when her sister had made contact with this man, but today's expository tale had tipped the train cars off the rails altogether! The idea of a person being so old and having that kind of story was kind of cool and maybe a bit tragic when viewed from a third party, unaffected perspective, but she didn't get to view it that way!

Was this for real?

Was this the real world? She felt like she might be dreaming!

None of this made any sense — and yet simultaneously made perfect sense.

How had her sister come into contact with Alex? Kenneth had said that Laura was the one to approach Alex, not vice versa.

Anna paused, her eyes narrowing as she contemplated the unanswered questions that were floating around this matter. She made use of the stationery, taking up a pen and writing on some of the neatly decorated, fragrant paper.

'How did Laura know to go to Alex for money?' was the first question. She tapped at her lips with the pen, rolling the details around in her mind. Next was 'What artifacts and magical powers did Alex get in his travels?' It was quickly followed up by 'Why does Alex think I'm the woman from the story?' Beneath that question, she added some dashes with notes: 'Are our appearances similar?' and 'Our personalities are different - due to era, nature, or something else?'

There were a lot of things that she still needed to confirm, but those were the key components that would start supporting the rest of the story.

It was terrifying to think that she wasn't who she thought she was. Even trying to think of it as just some kind of added history didn't really do anything to ease the agitation she was experiencing. Anna felt jittery, nerves aflutter. There was energy running through her veins like a shot of adrenaline in the middle of the night. What could she do with all of this excess energy?

Nothing. There was nothing she could do. Going wild and destroying things for the sake of slaking her restlessness was irresponsible.

A run, she realized abruptly. She could go for a run.

Outside, she ran and ran and ran, following a path to and in the park. Unlike the joggers who used the provided paths for exercise and scenery, Anna was running to out pace the sheer amount of terror that was nipping at her heels, brought on by the sudden realization of just how much she didn't know.

She was Anna Rosaline Walker. She was not Anna Rosaline Walker. Who was she?

She had a loving sister, pretty and sweet. She did not. She had a sister, foolish, greedy, and ignorant.

The average lifespan for a human being was around eighty years, give or take a decade. Alex had been alive for six hundred years.

Magic wasn't real. Magic had been alive for SIX HUNDRED YEARS. He'd found magical artifacts in his journey and he'd gained magical powers. What were the laws of physics, the facts of anatomy, the science that dictated what was and wasn't possible?

Anna ran and ran and ran, terrified of all she didn't know. It had been a good idea to come outside. Though she felt like she could run on forever, her mind was given back small shards of peace as she continued to see the rest of the world, still following the rules and still very much the same as it always was. The hedges were still trimmed neatly and runners stayed to the left while those taking a reprieve from jogging hugged the right side of the path. The sun was still shining and the world was still turning.

She was embracing these small observations, drawing them in to herself as though she could use them to outweigh the truth.

THUD!

Anna tumbled to the ground in a heap, groaning. Realizing what had happened, she immediately got to her feet, apologizing, "I'm so sorry about that! I should have been paying more attention? Are you alri…ght?" When she got a good look at just who she'd smashed into, she felt the words drying up in her throat.

In front of her was an attractive looking man with short, chocolate colored hair and mischievous green eyes. He was still on the ground, having fallen back on his hands, but she knew he was almost as tall as Alex when he was standing up straight. He was dressed in running shorts and a T-shirt advertising a local brewery.

He smiled up at her cheekily and she instinctively wanted to step on him and wipe that naive look off of his face.

"Anna Rosaline Walker," he said in a happy voice. "It's been a very long time since I've seen you." He tilted his head to the side, tracing her form from the feet up to take in her appearance. Satisfied, he got to his feet. "So, how have you been?"