Chapter 183 - I Am Lost!

Shi Ai reached home in a trance.Zhang Min had arranged a car and a chauffer for her or else she would not have been able to reach home. In the presence of her sister and Zhang Min,she had been able to pretend but now that she was alone she felt lost. The cleaners had come and gone and there was a faint smell of the lemon cleaner lingering. The silence in he big house screamed at her, calling her a fool.

Walking up the stairs,Shi Ai walked towards the bedroom and as her gaze fell on the bed,so many memories floated past her. Their first time together,the way Ah Hai held her when she slept,the way he teased her and sometimes simply snuggled her, pecking her on the forehead when he thought she was asleep.

Collapsing on the floor,with her back leaning against the bed,Shi Ai brought her knees to her c.h.e.s.t and folding her arms,laid her head on them as her tears started to flow.

She was scared..no terrified. Her biggest fear,she knew,might just have come true. She may have lost Ah Hai.Because she knew that Ah Hai was hurt severely.She did not know how much but she knew he was. She had seen the truth in Zhang Min's eyes when he had said that she would regret it.When his eyes had pleaded with her to ask about Ah Hai and tell him to bring Ah Hai to her.

But she did not regret it. She did not regret giving up on Ah Hai if it could mean the difference between saving him and losing him.

Letting the quiet tears fall, Shi Ai lost herself in the pain of giving up her love. She just hoped that he would understand her decision and not hate her too much. Just like she hated herself right now. The one time in his life that he needed her the most was the time when she had abandoned him. With every breath she took, she murmured his name and missed him. He would have been told by now, the hurtful words she had said, yet he had not come. She yearned for him to come and force her to take back those words. Why had he not come yet? It had been 6 days..Her mind suggested another possibility of him..no she refused to think that he would die and shut down those negative thoughts immediately. He had to be alive or she too would have no reason to live.

With her eyes closed, her mind wandered to that fateful day...

A week ago:

She had been sitting with Xu Likun, as the woman drove towards the Shi Villa when suddenly the woman caught her hand. Putting the car on auto-drive, Xu Likun had started to write something on her palm while indicating to not make a sound. That was when Shi Ai had understood the words Xu Likun told her."Leave Ah Hai.Shot. Betrayal.Yang Mei." She knew that Xu Likun was a communication expert with KSS and also understood that there must be a reason that she was not speaking.

At first she had not understood what Xu Lin was trying to say and simply filed away the words in her mind. She believed that Xu Likun was simply trying to confuse her and attacking Shot so that she would not trust the man.She had reckoned to handle Xu Likun later and concentrated on rescuing her family.But when she had followed the paramedics and seen the dead Xu Likun in the driveway, she felt that the woman was telling the truth. At that point, she had even shamefully blamed Ah Hai for a few moments for having people who would betray him and believing that he had used Yang Mei as bait which had caused her sister to be hurt gravely. But, her sister had confessed to her in the ambulance that she was the one who had changed the plan at the last minute along with Shot and Ah Hai was not to be blamed.

As Shi Ai had sat outside the operation theater praying for her sister,she waited for Ah Hai to come to her. When he had not returned for more than an hour, she came to the realization that something was definitely wrong. That is when she started to analyse everything she knew and came to two unwelcome conclusions. One that whatever Xu Likun had hinted at was the truth and Ah Hai was hurt badly. Both of these conclusions were confirmed when Zhang Min and Shot arrived. Zhang Min's worry had confirmed her suspicion that Ah Hai was severely hurt. And the triumph in Shot's eyes when he said that he would not let Ah Hai return to her had confirmed the other misgiving. Ah Hai's most trusted man was working with the enemy. She could only hope and pray that what Xu Likun had next indicated that Shi Ai's leaving Ah Hai would pacify Shot ,so she had steeled herself to not ask about Ah Hai.

She has spent the last few days, slowly dying inside but outwardly she had spent time with her sister and cared for her. Every morning she would stare at the door to open and bring Ah Hai but it never happened.

She wished her Ah Hai would come to her soon. Crawling onto the bed slowly, she hugged the pillow that still carried a faint scent of her husband and fell into a fitful slumber.

But the sleep was plagued with nightmares. The first was a mixture of reality and dream where Ah Hai was scolding her for not protecting herself. She would smile up at him and say there was no need for it since she would always gave him but the next moment, Ah Hai disappears from her arms and she is left alone. But she remembers the teachings that he thought her and finds her way back to him..

A few hours later, Shi Ai woke up with a fresh mind and a fresh resolve. She could not bring shame to her husband by crying and giving up. When and how had she turned into a coward! She had been willing to give up her hubby!What was she thinking! Maybe the pigs had overtaken her brain. All these years Ah Hai had helped her so that she would win every fight. Then how could she have given him up so easily?

She was going to confront Shot today, she decided. Strengthening her resolve, Shi Ai walked towards the bathroom and washed the tear tracks off her face. Ah Hai, even if he was hurt would not have left her alone if any of the other enemies had still been lurking. Going to the study, Ah Hai started to compile everything she knew or had heard about Shot from her husband or people at the office. Finally she wrote down her final observation,Shot's motive was not killing. Even of he had at some point joined forces with the enemy, the man did not want to kill. He only wanted to separate her from Ah Hai. And there was only one reason he would do this-He wanted Ah Hai to suffer.

Going to the dresser, Shi Ai picked up a looses fitting pant and top which she donned after a bath. Then, rolling the leg of the pant, Shi Ai first strapped a gun on one calf and a blade on the other. 

Jogging down the stairs, she messaged Zhang Min that she was going to see Shot and then called the KSS to know if the man was there. Having received an affirmative reply, Shi Ai walked towards the car and ordered the driver to take her to KSS. The car had just started when the driver suddenly felt the cold press of the blade on his neck."What a coincidence?I was on my way to see you, Shot! Is KSS not paying you well that you are moonlighting as a driver?"

Shot looked at the woman in the rearview mirror and gave a smirk,"Very Good, Miss Shi. You finally show some talent. I thought kidnapping was going to be difficult but you made it a piece of cake. At least now we have something interesting to do. Go ahead, press the tip in. It is pointed enough that it will slide into my neck. Do it slowly but or you might get sprayed with my blood and you wouldn't enjoy that..But unless you can separate my head from my body, I assure you that you will be kidnapped come hell or high water. So I suggest that you sit back and enjoy the ride.Save your energy to fight later. I mean you no harm at physically. I just wish to use you to ask Ah Hai about something. And once I have received a satisfactory answer, I will let you reunite."