Chapter 42 - Mixed Feelings

Jasmine

"I'm not a liar." I said defensively. "So when you said that you didn't want me in your life, that wasn't a lie?" Benjamin prompted with a smile. I stubbornly placed my hand on my hips. "That is different." I sighed. "It was better that way." I said in a whisper.

"And the fact that you said that I had imagined everything between us? Was that the truth then?" I was quiet. When he saw that I wasn't going to answer his question, he stroke his hand through his hair.

"You are to pure of a soul to hide under that tent, besides, I have the feeling you are too tempered to control your words anyway." I sighed. It was quiet for a while.

"I hate the fact that I can't see your face. It's been months! "Although I do get why they covered those eyes of yours, they haunt me still." Benjamin sighed deeply and shook his hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, It's just S-" I tried to say. "I know it's Saeeds doing.

"It doesn't matter anyway." He shrugged. "I am already spoken for now." He said staring at the waves. Did that mean? "You are engaged?!" I blurted out. "Not yet." He said still not looking at me. "But you will be soon?" I guessed with a lump in my throat.

"Yes." He breathed, finally looking at me. I wanted to take off my eye veil, so he could see my pleading eyes, not to go through with it. I knew it was selfish, because I did not want to be his wife either.

"Do you love her?" I asked looking at Naima and Daniel, who seemed to enjoy themselves. "I think I have fallen in love with her." He told me. "What is she like?" I shifted in my chair. Did I really want to know this?

"She is my sisters best friend. " Benjamin said with a smile on his face. "I don't know, she makes me feel wanted." He said. It was stupid, but it kind of sounded accusingly. Did he mean I did not make him feel wanted?

It was becoming windy and I shivered. "Are you cold?" Ben said taking off his jacket. Before I could react, he stood up and placed his jacket over my shoulder. I inhaled the scent, it smelled like him. "Thank you." I said.

"Jasmine, did Saeed have anything to do with you cutting me off?" I swallowed loudly. "Ben -." It wasn't safe for me to say anything, it would only make matters worse.

"He abuses my sister." I said in a whisper. "Does he hurt you?" Benjamin asked calmly, but his baled fists betrayed him. "No." I lied. "Jasmine!" He muttered raising his voice slightly.

"But your dreams, tell me." Benjamin demanded, changing the subject. "You owe it to me to answer all my questions, since you cut me out of your life without a warning last time."

Something stirred up in me. I hated that I made him sad, but I had no choice. "I pondered my answer for a moment. "I want to study law." I shyly replied. "Then why don't you?" Benjamin prompted.

"Remember where you are." I said. "We are not in the USA, I need male permission to do so." I reminded him. "I've heard your mother was a doctor, your father would let you study right?" Benjamin asked with a concerned voice.

"Yes, dad always promised me I could study, but he is becoming weaker by the moment. I mean, why do you think there is so much pressure on this wedding." I said as I gestured to Naïma and Ryan.

"I know." Benjamin Sighed. "Thank you for everything you did for us." I said looking at the new found couple.

"Besides, Saeed will never let me, so it's just a dream. When I'll become his second wife I should be happy when he let's me take a course or two as he put it." I felt sick by the idea of becoming Saeed's wife.

"YOU WILL BE WHAT!" Benjamin shouted. "Hell no, no you won't." Benjamin abruptly stood up, paced back and forth, with his hand through his hair, when I saw that another helicopter landed. "For crying out loud". Benjamin yelled again.

When he composed himself again, he slowly started talking. "I will let not let this happen, I promise." He growled.

Mumbling to him self, Benjamin approached Saeed, who was still on shore. They seemed to be in some kind of argument and Benjamin pushed Saeed very hard.

Then Something strange happened and Saeed's expression softened and become humble even. It was like Saeed seemed to be in some kind of awe. I had never seen him like that. He must have told him who he was.

Strangely enough, we had a quiet evening. Benjamin played on his guitar all night. It was the first time I heard him sing. Raina was right, he sounded incredible.

In for what seemed to be the longest time, I fell in a deep. When I woke up, Benjamin was strapping me in the helicopter seat. "Hey little pea." Benjamin said with warmth in his voice. I froze because of the unexpected closeness.

"Remember what I've asked you to do?" Benjamin breathed, again way to close to be appropriate. I nodded. Benjamin made an effort to get out of the helicopter, probably to get the rest of the group.

Suddenly and for unknown reason, I grabbed his blouse again, pulling him back. "I'm sorry." I mouthed. Shoot, what was wrong with me?!

Benjamin lingered for a moment and looked around, probably to see if no one was watching and slowly kissed me on the crown of my head. Although it hurt a little, I didn't object. Even though I knew I should have.

When Benjamin made an effort to call the others, Saeed appeared out of thin air. "Oh hi Saeed, good that you're here, go get Daniel and Naïma." Benjamin commanded in calm voice.

The two men stared at each other for a while and then Saeed finally came into motion. Benjamin climbed in the helicopter and turned the engines on.

"What was that about?" I asked puzzled. "I have never seen Saeed been so obedient." A smile appeared on the edge of Benjamin's lips. "He knows what he is up against." Benjamin simply said.

This time Saeed wouldn't be far behind us, because his fathers servants waited by his helicopter the entire time. When the aircraft went up in the air, Benjamin reached for my hand and squeezed a little.