Chapter 54 - Riddles

Benjamin

As I sat under the willow, I was more than ever grateful for the privacy the willow offered.

I heard footsteps on the grit, and by the sound of it, I knew it was Jasmine.

I braced myself.

"Good morning Ben." She said cheerfully. I looked at her. She seemed well. "How did you sleep Habibie?" I asked.

"I dreamed of you." She said flushed.

"Oh." I mouthed as she sat down.

"You sang for me." She said as she played with some strings of grass.

"Mhhh…" I Mused. "It was a good dream then?" I asked trying to stay with the conversation. My mind kept wandering back to Saphira.

She chuckled lightheartedly. "Something like that." She grinned. The dimples on her cheek appeared.

She was sidetracking me.

"Jasmine we need to get married." I blurted out as fast as I could.

Her cat-like green eyes were horror struck.

She shook her head.

"No." She said sharply.

I stroke my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Habibie, it is the only way, I have thought about it for so long. We don't have a choice." I tried to convince her.

"You want to marry Saphira." She said looking down.

I did not know how to respond to that right now.

"I will not make you happy." She said looking up at me.

"But I would do everything within my power to make you happy, isn't that enough?" I asked her pleading.

"I don't want to be your wife. You know that." She said still holding my gaze.

Still… She still felt that way.

Something broke inside of me.

Although I was proposing some type of fake marriage, her rejection hurt me more than I will ever admit.

"Why not?" I asked hopelessly.

"Because I don't love you the way I know you love me." Her nose wrinkled when she said that. So I knew it was a lie. It still hurt all the same.

"Do I love you?" I asked her trying to hide my shock. We had never spoken about this so bluntly.

"Don't you?" She asked in a smaller voice now.

I just stared at her.

"My grandfather is going to ask for your hand if I don't do so." I told her.

It was her turn to be shocked now.

"That should not be your concern." She said in an even voice.

"It should not be my concern." I repeated her.

"It should not be my concern!" I said again, almost yelling at her. I tried to calm myself down, but I was so full of emotion from everything else that had happened today.

Jasmine just stared back at me. Not showing any emotion

"So you would rather be my grandfather's wife then mine?" I felt something building up inside of me. I did not know where it came from.

She nodded yes. "Say it! I wat you to say it out loud." I demanded of her.

"I would rather be your grandfather's wife." Jasmine said flatly. "WHY!" I threw my hands in the air with frustration.

"You him to take you into his bed?" I said trying to get through to her. She flinched when I said that. Finally, a hint of emotion. "He won't do that." She said. "He won't?" I asked her.

She was silent.

"He will. If you would like that or not. He will see it as his right to do so. That is **** Jasmine." She didn't look at me. I saw that she was holding back her tears.

I didn't exactly know what she had gone through back at home with Saeed but I expected it was of this nature.

"I want you to be happy." She said so quiet I didn't know if she was speaking to me. I took her face into my hands. "I've told my grandfather that I am asking for your hand. He has approved." I told her, looking into her eyes.

"Tell him you have changed your mind." She breathed. Her sweet breath touched my face. I placed my forehead against hers. "Don't act this stupid." I pleaded with her.

She stood up. "Don't force me into something I don't want to do." She said as she turned around and walked away.

I could not breathe. I felt my heart break into a million pieces. I had never in my life felt so humiliated as I felt today.

Saphira

It was Saturday morning and I was downstairs watching TV. Mom was still sound asleep when the doorbell rang a couple of times. I got off the couch, stretched myself and walked towards the door. It was Zachary.

What was he doing here? We haven't spoken since he'd tried to kiss me. I thought he would never want to talk to me again, after I made clear I did not return his feelings what so ever.

I don't know how he could be so delusional to think I would ever leave Ben for him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him with an astonished face.

"Well... Uhm... I don't know... I figured if you would still be here, I would still have a chance. If you weren't I would give up for good." Zachary said with almost a smile on his face.

"Zachary your speaking in riddles, please clarify yourself." I said a bit frustrated. "I'm referring to the fact that you're still here and not at the airport..." He said very slowly carefully pronouncing every word.

Why would I want to be at the airport? I thought to myself. "Zachary, don't get me wrong but your still not making any sense at all. The only reason I would have to go to the airport is to pick up Ben. And he won't be home for months." I said not understanding any of his nonsense.

"Hasn't Ben called you then?" Zachary asked with both eyebrows raised. "No, his phone has been dead for two days." I said wary.

This was common knowledge, now wasn't it? He still stared at me. "Each time I call him his phone directly gives me his answering machine and What's-app messages don't arrive either." I told him. Zachary still didn't say anything.

He tried a few times but then closed his mouth again. We just stood there in utter silence.

He sighed. "Saphira, I don't think there is anything wrong with his phone. I was at Thomas's place yesterday when he called to say he will arrive today, in about 15 minutes now, really..." He said as he was looking on his watch.

I closed my eyes and then opened them again.