Chapter 73 - Reconsolidation

Saphira

I called Lynn, it had been a very long time since I had spoken to her.

She did not pick up the phone. I tried again and again and again and again. "Saphira, just quit it." Lynn Said finally picking up. "No I need to speak to you." I told her. "About what?" Lynn was not amused by me.

"When Ben came back last time, I thought well, I don't know… That he didn't love me and that was the reason why he ignored me all of a sudden. It was so unlike him to just drop me coldly, I just thought that I had never meant anything to him." I tried to get the words right, but is was all a big jumble.

I looked outside my glass window and stared at the Pacific ocean. The waves were calm today, but I was not.

"Saphira, you are kinda confusing me. Benjamin had never said he did not love you, now did he?" Lynn sounded really irritated.

"I don't know, but there had to be some explanation, as to why he ignored me for the longest time, while still speaking to all of you. And then when he came back for a day, he did not even look at me. To be fair, you all have dropped me since that day." I thought out loud.

"Oh no." Lynn sighed. "What?!" I Shot back. "It's not going to be the Saphira show now right?" Lynn said. Why was she being so mean to me all the time? "What have I ever done to you, to deserve the way you are talking to me right now?!" I really did not get her.

"Pff… Come on Saphira… What did you expect. You go ahead and have a relationship with another guy and cheat on my brother. Did you seriously expect us to stay friends? You knew me better than that right?" Lynn stated.

"I did what?" What the heck was she talking about. "I never had a relationship with anyone other than Benjamin, Lynn come on, what are you saying." This accusation was stupid.

"Jeez Saphira, we have all seen the proof of you and Zachary." The proof of Zachary and I? What proof. "I never had a relationship with Zachary, he always knew I loved Benjamin." Lynn sighed heavily on the other side of the line.

"Saph, I don't feel like wasting my time on you right now. So if you don't mind, I am going to continue to spend time with my friends."

I was not going to let this go so easily. "What proof are you talking about?" I quickly said, before she would hang up on me.

"That you kissed with Zach." She simply said.

What made her think I ever kissed Zach? "I have never kissed Zach, what are you talking about. Just like your brother, you are talking in riddles."

I walked down stairs and mom was nowhere to be found. Then I heard my phone buzz in my hand, so I looked at my screen. "What is that?!" I exclaimed. "Well now your riddle is solved." Lynn said as she hung up the phone.

Lynn had send me a file with pictures of the dance. My blood started to cook with anger. It was Sierra who had been taking pictures all night.

She had taken a picture of Zachary and I as well. It was taken on the moment he tried to kiss me. Conveniently, she had not taken a picture when I hit his lip.

Or when we fought.

That bitch.

I got in my car and drove to Sierra's house. She was not going to get away with this.

Jasmine

We sat there for a while, in complete silence. "Why did you want me to come here?" I said. Benjamin cupped my face and stroke my cheek.

"Jasmine, I love you." He breathed. I swallowed. I was not really expecting this.

"And I know you love me as well." He added in a whisper. "You can't know that." I was trying to break his confidence.

Benjamin's lips turned up. "Then tell me you don't." I rolled my eyes.

"Can you please put my stuff back into my room?" I pleaded. Benjamin shook his head. "Well why not?!" I urged him. "I am going insane without you in my bed and in my arms. I simply can't sleep." I saw dark edges under his eyes.

"Then find someone else to sleep with, that can't be hard for you." I snapped at him. "Fair enough." He said. "You are right, I did that when I was teaching you, and I was wrong for doing so." He said holding my gaze.

"I am a man with great desire, and although I had never declared my feelings for you-" I broke him off. "We maybe never spoke of it… But that doesn't mean…" I trailed off.

"I was being a fool." The world was silent around us. "You asked me if I loved you, or just lusted for you, and I told you I do both." Benjamin smiled at me. "Before you, I had only felt the latter." He cocked his head and brushed his nose against mine.

"Sure, there and then in the hallway, I had not asked you to marry me, if my grandfather had not told me to take a wife." He narrowed his eyes.

I wanted to say something. "But!" He said interrupting me, raising his index finger. "You know as well as I, that I would of pursuit you until you finally agreed to be mine in time." He leaned in. "In any case." He added.

"Jasmine, I have told you this before, you are the air I breathe." He kissed my forehead and then looked at me again.

"And I know what you are going to say now." He intently looked into my eyes. "What about Saphira right?!" He said and pressed his lips together.

"You have asked me if I would be with her, if we hadn't broken up, and the answer is simply yes. I am not going to turn around in circles about this fact. But Habibie, the fact is, I actually thought that I was doing you a favor by doing so."

I frowned and could not hide the irritation I felt. "Little pea, don't get angry. You have been the one to tell me over and over, that you did not want to marry me. That I should find another." He was trying to make me understand, but I did not want to.

He stood up, and started tying his tie. I felt a nod in my stomach.

I walked up to him and placed my hands on his tie. "May I?" I asked. Ben nodded. "Who was she?" I continued asking while adjusting his deep blue tie.

"Let's not talk about that." Ben said while playing with my hair. "I want to know, I mean, I don't want there to be any secrets between us." Benjamin sighed. "Fair enough." He gave in.

"Her name was or is Saphira, but you know that. We met when I returned to the States after we've met." I knew it. My heart ached. "She was Lynn's best friend."

"What happened?" I prompted. It seemed he didn't want to talk about it, but the stranger he acted, the more curious I became and wanted to know. "We weren't right for each other."

"Did you love her?" I prompted. Did I really want to know this? Benjamin looked just as uncomfortable as I did now. "Yes." He admitted heavy hearted.

Benjamin sighed. "Listen, when she and I met, I wasn't looking for a wife, because you had my heart from the moment we met." He said. His hazel eyes seemed like lava.

"But you pursued another anyway." I accused him. He looked down to the floor. "You are being unfair." Benjamin said as he looked back up at me. "Am I?" I stared him down. "I did not want to be something on the side." I held his gaze.

"You are being unfair and utterly absurd." He looked angry now. "I have asked you to marry me."

"Yeah, but you considered the next girl you met as well." I said bitterly. "It wasn't like that." He breathed. I fought back my tears.

"Do you love her still?"

He cocked his head to the side. His eyes were pleading. "Don't do this Jasmine." His voice cracked. He tried to wrap his arms around me and I stepped back.

"When did you break up?" I asked feeling sick to my stomach.

"A few days before I came to your house with Daniel and proposed." Ben sighed heavily. "I couldn't just leave you there." He ran his hand through his hair.

So it wasn't real, he was just stuck with me. Something in me broke again. "Habib, I swear to God, I have never touched her like that, I mean we never even kissed. I can't change the past." Ben sighed again.

"Have you ever been in love before?" Benjamin shook his head and I tried to fight back the tears. Of course I hadn't. "I'm your wife." I shouted, still incredulous. Benjamin leaned in.

"Yes you are." He breathed against my lips.