Chapter 114 - Who Will Be First?

Saphira

That Jasmine was a total idiot.

"What did she say?" I asked stunned that Jasmine didn't melt before him, when Benjamin dropped down on one knee. Did she not realize that he did not only marry her because of felt obligating to protecting her, but that he loved her so much, that had let the woman, who truly loved him in return, go.

"I don't know.. She did not like that woman pursuit me." He said irritated. "She does not even hold into regard, that I don't pursuit anyone but her." I felt as if a knife cut through my heart. "I'm sorry." He apologized. "I should not drop all this stuff on you, it is not fair. Nothing I did to you is fair." He said sounding really sad.

"Pfff…" He breathed out. "I should not be talking to you in the first place." He said almost inaudible.

"It is not like you did it on purpose right… so.. I am mean, you did love me right?" Benjamin sighed. "No of course I did not hurt you purpose..." He sighed again. "You know that I fell for you… " He admitted at last.

"All that became irrelevant the moment my grandfather wanted me to consummate my marriage to Jazz…" I felt uneasy hearing him talk about that.

"I know…" I said as a heavy weight of grieve came down on me. "But I am glad we are still friends… and you trust me enough to call me when you need it." I said trying to lighten the atmosphere and

"Jasmine does not want me to have contact with anyone female, and you in particular." He stated. How should I reply? I decided to play the advocate of the devil.

"I get that." I told him. "You do?" He questioned. "Yes." I said thinking about how I would frame this. "When we were…. Whatever.. I hated the whole harem around you as well." I acknowledged. "My cousin, who clearly had a thing for you and well.. who not?!" I shrugged.

"So, you are saying that it is my fault?" He rushed through the words. I chuckled. "Yes." I laughed. "It is really your fault that you have the most brilliant smile, the most gorgeous eyes and the way you smell is mesmerizing. That is your fault too, you should but a different cologne.." I mused. "And then that voice… God, your voice makes every woman weak."

"Uhuu." Benjamin said trying to down play my words. "I'm not kidding and I didn't even touch your character. Like the way you make people laugh and have all these quirky little things… with movies and your so smart." I went on. Benjamin was quiet, just listing to me.

"When you feel insecure, it is hard watching you interact with others, because you flirt with everyone without meaning to do so."

"I do not!" He contradicted like he was feeling attacked. "You do so." I chuckled.

"I don't do that." He said again. "Okay, so you never let Sierra hang around your neck while you were supposed to be mine?" I said boldly. I had nothing to lose here.

Benjamin was quiet and seemed to ponder my question. "That is different." He stated careless. "Why would that be different? Wasn't that the reason you and Jasmine had your first glitch?"

"Sierra has always been one of my closest friends. I mean… we grew up together." He said. "But weren't you promised to each other as kids?" I asked him.

"How do you know that?" He fired at me. "She is my cousin, of course se told me." I bluffed. There had never been anything natural about our relationship, Ben knew that. We just got along since the drama in New York.

"Yes…" He said carefully. "But I only see her as family." He said like that would fix all things. I put my flip flops on and when down to the beach. Mom was at grandma's, so I was home alone.

"But she would of very much wanted to be your wife." I said quietly, hoping I wouldn't stir any feelings towards her.

He sighed. "So I have hurt her too." Benjamin said frustrated. "So everything is all my fault, that I where it comes down to." He shrugged.

"That's not what I am saying." Although it was very much true and I wished I could just tell him that. "I just think you should be careful spending time with woman, who you know might have feelings for you, of you want to keep the woman you are with happy." I said.

"What you are saying." He said probably analyzing me again. "Is that I probably should hang up the phone right now." He said playfully.  He caught me a little off guard.

"What do you mean?" I said flustered as I felt the warm sand on the beach on my feet. "Well.." He said and I could hear him smile.

"That is different." I stated. "How?" He pressed. "Because I love you so much, that I let you go and be with another woman, if that is what makes you happy." I told him honest truth.

Benjamin was quiet.

"I would never jeopardize that, or our friendship." I told him. Although that was not entirely true, because I had made a pact with Sierra.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

"Saph… We have been talking for a while now and I am almost at the white house now.." He said trailing off.

"Can I see you before you back?" I said trying to be casual, but my heart was bleeding. "Mhhh… sure." He said.

Jasmine

I did not expect him to leave me like that.

Not that I knew what I did expect to happen either. I touched the skin where my wedding ring was supposed to be, and I felt so empty.

To be honest, I did not think he would take it so far as to take his ring off as well. What did that mean? That he was back in the market, hunting for woman? Not that he really needed to hunt in the first place. I felt jealous feeling propping up again.

I Just landed back in Boston. I was pregnant and I just told my husband to live without me and gave him the permission to move on. What was I thinking? I would kill any woman who touched him. I would rather die than let him b e with another woman. Why couldn't I have just told him that?

I sobbed as I entered the penthouse. Naïma was laying on the couch, as always. "Hey Jazz.." Naïma said as she tilted her head to look at me. "Why are you crying?" She frowned.

I showed her my hand and Naïma started to cry. "You are not together anymore?" She stated, wiping her tears.. "I'm sorry, my hormones." She said fanning her face. I think I started to know exactly how she felt.

"And it all my fault." I said as I plunked down on the couch. "I don't know where my life will lead now." I said. Naïma cleared her eyes. "Jasmine, you were never a woman who needed a man in the first please. You don't depend on him, just finish Harvard, get a good job and you can live here in the meanwhile." She said.

"You do realize that he pays for Harvard… and I could never manage to do so, with a million jobs." I laughed darkly. Naïma seemed to ponder that. "Right." She swallowed. "Then just go to a school you can afford…" She stated. "And we would love to have you here in the meanwhile, so you don't have to go back to him." She shrugged.

"But I would still be dependent of him if I stay here." I said looking around the penthouse. She seemed to be confused. She didn't honestly think that Daniel could pay for any of this right?

"What do you mean?" She questioned. "This is Benjamin's penthouse… We live here by his mercy, everything we eat is by his mercy." I chuckled darkly again. Naïma looked at me like she did not believe me, so I went on. "We never even have to clean here, because Benjamin hires maids for us and we don't have to cook either." I said pointing towards the kitchen, where the elderly maid stood.

"Oh." Was the only thing Naïma managed to say. Well.. yeah that would be a big 'oh'.

"Besides… Even if I wanted to manage a thousand job, or move anywhere else… I couldn't because I am pregnant." I said dropping the bomb.

Naïma's face changed and she stood, walked towards me an hugged me. "That explains." She smiled as she took my face in her hands. She pinched my cheeks a little.

"I thought you were getting fat." She laughed again. "You are being a mean sister." I told her. "You got me really insecure." I said. "Yes, but come on… " She said, pointing towards my hips. As if that made it okay.

"You look like you could be carrying twins." She joked about me becoming fat. "I am expecting twins." I said as I placed my hand on my belly. It felt strange doing that.

"Do you want him back?" Naïma asked me. "No." I said. That was not true. "Yes.." I said.