Last night, I talked to Fu Jing very late. The next day, I was still in the sun. If Fu Jing hadn't brought me lunch, I wouldn't have gotten up without smelling it.
After dinner, Fu Jing took me home with my things.
"It hasn't changed." I put everything away bit by bit. "Have you been living here since you returned to North city?"
He said, "Are you still dizzy?"
"I'm not dizzy anymore." I shook my head. "I'm fine now, but I'm a little hungry. It's only been a while since I finished eating that I'm hungry again."
Fu Jing opened the fridge, took out a few fruits and asked me which one I wanted to eat. I picked out an orange, and he peeled it to extract juice for me. I sat by and looked at him.
"Tell me what you want to eat and drink."
"Don't worry, is this a mother's certificate?" I held my chin and looked at him. "Then I'll put on airs and enjoy myself for the next nine months."
He glanced at me. "Let you enjoy what you can enjoy?"
"Oh, I'm going to look for a menu on the internet right now. It's seven months. It's not the same every day. It's exhausting." I snorted.
Fu Jing smiled. "You're only so successful."
I'm really not convinced. How can this be futile?! As soon as I finished, I immediately took my computer to look for recipes and downloaded everything that looked and sounded delicious to Fu Jing.
Hmph, go ahead.
I was in a fight with fu jing when Lu Buyuan called and asked me to do the matching.
I promised to pack up and get ready to go to the hospital.
"Where are you going?" Fu Jing asked me.
I changed my clothes and said, "Go to the hospital. Doctor lu asked me to get a match. My sister's condition is stable now. She can have a kidney transplant."
"But you can't." He stopped me. "You're pregnant."
Only then did I remember that I was pregnant. I patted my forehead. "Can't I have an operation while I'm pregnant?"
Fu Jing looked at me speechless.
"Then what should we do? My sister is waiting for my help." One side was a child, the other was my sister. Why did this happen?!
"I'll go with you."
I quickly stopped him. "No, if you go with me, then my sister will know about us. She can't stand the excitement! Fu Jing, I beg you, don't go."
"I won't let you abort the baby and operate on Chen Lai." His attitude was firm.
The hope and joy that had just surged up yesterday will disappear today? I really can't accept it.
But what would my sister do if I left this child behind selfishly?
"Fu Jing, listen to me. No matter if I end up changing my sister's kidney or not, I have to go to this match. Can we come back and discuss it after the match?" I comforted him.
"If the match is successful, you are more likely to give her a kidney transplant." Fu Jing did not budge.
I frowned, unable to refute his words.
I was silent, and Fu Jing was silent. After a while, he called Lu Buyuan. He was separated by a layer of glass on the balcony. I couldn't hear what they were saying.
He came in after the call. "Chen Qing, your uterus wall is already thin. It's even thinner after clearing it once. If you miscarry again, your chances of getting pregnant are very low."
"Did dr. Lu say that?"
He grunted.
I sighed heavily and was even more confused. I held my head and didn't want Fu Jing to see my expression. I really didn't know what to do.
Lu Buyuan called my phone again. I wiped my tears. "Dr. Lu, I'm going to the hospital right away. Don't worry."
"I'm not here to rush you. Ah Jing told me. I just discussed it with Ah Lai. She won't let you have a transplant."
"Doctor lu, don't listen to her. Do it. We have to do it. If you don't do it, she will die." I covered my mouth and tears began to fall.
I pushed Fu Jing away. "Ah Jing, I'm begging you. Let me go. I'll have the baby again, but if my sister doesn't have it, she's really gone. She died once. Now that she's back, we can't lose her anymore."
Fu Jing hugged my waist and refused to let me go. "There's another way. Don't be impulsive."
"There's nothing I can do. Only I can save my sister." I screamed, "She raised me. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be who I am now. Do you understand??"
"What about you? If you can't be a mother for the rest of your life, are you going to abort this child?"
I took a deep breath. "Yes, I want to fight."
Fu Jing's hand slipped off my arm. I picked up the bag on the sofa and walked all the way to the neighborhood gate to take a taxi to the hospital.
When I got to the hospital, I called Lu Buyuan, and he came down to pick me up to register for a match. With him around, it was like opening a green channel to every window.
Soon after the necessary examination was completed, I went to the ward to see my sister.
"Xiao Qing." She opened her eyes weakly. "I didn't hear that you were pregnant. Why didn't you tell me about your boyfriend?"
"When we first met, we couldn't talk too much. I thought it wasn't a big deal, so I didn't say it." I tucked her in. "You look so pale. Does your body hurt?"
She smiled. "It doesn't hurt. How long have you been pregnant?"
"Two months." I held her hand. "The baby will be able to conceive in the future, but you can't wait for your life. Sister, you can rest assured and recuperate. Let's wait for the results to come out."
Chen Lai frowned. I didn't give her a chance to talk. I gave her a shush gesture and we stopped talking.
I sat with her for a while and waited for her to fall asleep before I left. The lilies by her bed had withered. I took the flower away and threw it away.
Lu Buyuan took me to the hospital. "Chen Qing, you really have a plan."
I pursed my lips and smiled. "I've thought about it. My sister asked you to take care of her, but when she came out, let me know."
When I got into the taxi, Lu Buyuan in the rearview mirror became smaller and smaller. The master turned a corner and he disappeared.
Fate was so funny. Yesterday, Fu Jing and I were so excited about our baby. The countdown is starting today. I was thinking, if I were a child, I wouldn't want to be in my womb. I might never be a mother again.
When I got home, Fu Jing was still there.
"Are you hungry?"
I nodded. "I'm hungry."
He walked to the kitchen and I stopped him halfway. My hand passed between his arms and waist and hugged him. "Fu Jing, I'm sorry. I'm not a good partner, and I'm not a good mother."
He touched my head and pushed me away to cook for me.
Looking at his figure in the yellow light, my tears couldn't stop flowing down my face. Damn, why should I live a more complicated and miserable life than others? Why can't I be a good mother and a good sister again?
I was feeling my tears when Ning Jing called again.
I had no place to vent my grievances and anger, so I simply answered the phone.