"Chen Qing..." Tan Jie called me in the room.
I looked away and turned to Tan Jie's room. "What's wrong?"
"I want to go to the hospital." His hands were around his neck, and the tickling sensation in his throat made him very uncomfortable. I knew this feeling very well.
I nodded. "I'll get a servant to take us down now. Come on, I'll help you down the stairs."
"Not that weak." He got up with my help. When we went out again, Fu Jing was gone. My heart was falling like a meteor, but the meteor's tail was a little long.
Wu Ying's driver drove us to the hospital. After we got to the hospital, I went to look for a series of procedures for registration and payment. Tan Jie went to the clinic to talk to the doctor himself. When I got back from work, he was transferred to the infusion hall.
"Are you hungry, thirsty?"
Tan Jie shook his head. "It's easy to go to the toilet after an infusion. Give me some more water. I'm afraid I won't be able to hold on to the water."
"It's okay. If you want to go to the bathroom later, I'll carry this bag for you."
"Come on, at your height, the water won't get into my body, and my blood will return to that bag instead." Tan Jie was saying that I was short. Well, I was a little short from the ceiling.
I was a little thirsty, so I went to buy some water myself. When I thought about the look I had with Fu Jing before, somewhere in my left heart was so tight that I couldn't breathe.
I drank water and sat next to Tan Jie to accompany him. I was afraid he wouldn't talk to him because he was tired. Instead, he couldn't bear to be lonely and chat with me.
"You were in a bad state a while ago. You were always throwing tantrums at everyone. It was scary."
I said, "That wasn't a while ago. It might be the same in the future. I used to restrain myself. I don't want to restrain myself. I don't want to make others unhappy."
"So rude?"
"Why, are you still not convinced?" I raised my eyebrows.
He smiled. "How dare I offend you? What if you don't let me hold my temper? You left that scarred face that escaped from prison. Fu Jing was angry because he was worried about you. You pushed him so far away. What if he didn't come back?"
"Mine will come back eventually." When I said this, I was thinking about Fu Jing, but my hand unconsciously touched my stomach.
Tan Jie glanced at my hand. "Isn't it good to have a roar? Even if you can't have children in the future, you two are enough."
"Who told you I can't have a baby?" I wanted to hit him, but I was cursing.
He asked, "Didn't Fu Jing tell you?"
At this moment, my heart felt as if someone had punched me, and it hurt so much that it tightened. "What did you say? Ah Jing didn't tell me. Tan Jie, are you hiding something from me?"
He suddenly covered his mouth and looked away, not daring to look at me.
I grabbed him by the collar, not caring whether he was a patient or not, and asked word for word, "Why can't I have a baby? Tell me!"
"Chen Qing, don't get excited. The uterus is broken. You can get a surrogate, right? Now that science is so advanced, you can have children..."
Tan Jie rambled on and on, but I didn't hear him clearly. I only heard four words - the uterus was broken.
Is my uterus damaged? Then where will my baby live if she comes back?
And when I was with Fu Jing, he knew that I wouldn't get pregnant again, so why did he bother with birth control? Maybe Tan Jie was wrong, maybe my body is not bad, it's good.
I'm in the hospital. I can check.
I immediately went to register for a doctor to see me, but at night they were off work and had to wait until tomorrow for an examination. But the doctor checked my medical history and told me that I had an operation more than a month ago and that it was a partial removal of the uterus.
My head exploded. Everything Tan Jie said was true, it was true...
I sat in the empty hallway of the hospital, like a lost ghost, unable to find my home. It was only when my phone rang and Tan Jie asked me to look for him that I realized my body was almost stiff.
I'm a mother now, I want a second child, I want the child that I didn't protect, but I was told that I couldn't have another child. I...
I dried my tears and went to see Tan Jie. He's a patient now. It's my responsibility to send him back.
"Don't think too much. There's a way to have a child. You don't have to work hard to give birth. Change your mind. Don't be too sad."
Tan Jie's comfort was so pale to me that I didn't even want to hear it anymore. I left his room and went back to sleep. I tossed and turned and knocked on Fu Jing's door angrily.
He opened the door, wearing a couple's home dress. "What's the matter?"
"Why didn't you tell me that I couldn't get pregnant again?" I clenched my fists and my lips trembled.
"Tan Jie told you?" He raised his voice.
I stared into his eyes. "No matter who said it, why didn't you tell me? Acting is so complete, pretending that I'm fine, even if I don't need to use contraception, I need to be tricked. Fu Jing, why are you hiding such an important thing from me?"
"Calm down." He held my shoulder, and the warmth of his palm burned my shoulder. "You lost your child, and you've been through such a huge blow. If I had told you about it then, you wouldn't have been able to stand it."
"So you kept it from me like this and would rather let me blame you than let me know that I have a problem?" Tears came out of my eyes, and the corners of my mouth could not help but curl down.
Fu Jing hugged me. "We already have Tingsheng. I don't care if we don't have children anymore. I know you feel guilty about not having a chance to come to this world. You did your best. It's not your fault."
I leaned against his shoulder and cried until my whole body trembled. I hate her so much, I hate her so much!
Fu Jing carried me back to his room and let me lie down in his arms to sleep. I need him now, and I need him so much. My heart was filled with uneasiness. If I didn't have him, I wouldn't be able to hold on. Only by embracing him and getting close to him could I ease the turmoil in my heart.
After some time, I fell asleep, but it was very unstable.
The next morning, when I came out of Fu Jing's room, Wu Ying saw it. She covered her mouth and smiled. Soon, she was back to her usual serious and proud little old lady.
Fu Jing and I still didn't talk much, not because we were still angry, but because I didn't want to talk, and I didn't want to talk to anyone.
"Can I go back to my room to sleep tonight?" Fu jinglin asked me quietly before he went to work.