Chapter 190

She didn't want to give up, but she was unwilling to love him for so many years. It hurt her to think that after giving up, he might never belong to her again.

So she can only endure his indifference and try not to care about his cold face.

It's really hard to keep him. He is always like a gust of wind. She reaches out her hand to catch him, but she can't catch him.

She has really worked hard, in order to keep him, she wasted so much energy, just let him stay in her side so reluctantly, if she does not work so hard, she must not keep him.

She can't make him remember anything. If he remembers, all the efforts she has made for so long will be in vain.

Nian Shiya has a complicated look in her eyes, which is a little terrible.

The whole day's shooting finally came to a difficult end. Nian Shiya, Xu Yuanyu, left in the car driven by her driver. Lu chennian left by himself.

It turned out that Xu Yuanyu wanted Lu chennian to send Nian Shiya back. She took the driver's car to go back, and she could also create some space for them to be alone. However, Lu chennian obviously didn't want to. He found an excuse to leave, and let Xu Yuanyu pretend that he didn't see it.

Then he turned and left, leaving Nian Shiya's angry face deformed behind him.

Lu chennian left in his car, sighing helplessly. This day almost consumed all his patience. He almost collapsed.

Not only to be bored to listen to the photographer's command, but also to pretend love to a person who has no feeling at all.

Every moment of this day is suffering. Lu chennian is more determined that he will never marry Nian Shiya.

He thought he could try to fall in love with Nian Shiya, but it was too difficult.

Why did he like Shiya at the beginning? He doesn't know. If he really loved her at the beginning, why does he have such unbearable feeling now?

Is it to the memory, even preferences have changed?

Lu chennian drove the car straight home. He was really tired. This day was even more tiring than working overtime in the office. He hardly calmed down and stayed alone for a while.

Driving back to the villa, he parked the car and entered the house.

Such a big house is quiet, always like something missing. It's very quiet, full of loneliness, which makes Lu chennian feel empty.

Since he lost his memory, he felt that there was something missing in his life. He always felt that there was nothing left in his heart.

It's like something that has always existed. Suddenly one day it disappeared. He couldn't find it. What's worse, he couldn't even remember what it was. He wanted to find it, but he couldn't start.

Without that thing, he just felt flustered.

I hope that before the wedding, he can get back what he lost, so that it will not be unclear.

……

Chu Jinran is tidying up things in the room. There are too many baby things. They are always piled everywhere. It looks a bit messy. She almost has to clean up every day.

Most of these baby products are bought by Yu Beibei for the only one. He is a big man. He doesn't understand these and is not very selective. He only knows that he will buy everything back. He's afraid that it won't be enough. So he bought a lot of things, and many of them can't be used, just piled there.

Yu Beibei spoils the only one, and almost spoils him as his own child.

When he held the only one in his arms, the gentle light in his eyes even surprised her.

She often joked that if she asked him not to spoil the only one, he would spoil the child, but Yu Beibei still spoiled him and let the only one act like a spoiler to him. He always gently tolerated all the nonsense of the only one.

She remembers that once when she was out in the park, Yu Beifang let the only one ride on his neck, and the only one was very happy. Although she couldn't speak, she was so happy that her eyes narrowed into a slit, revealing her red gums.

She looked at the big one and the small two, said with a smile: "north, you can play with children, do your baby must be very happy."

Yu Beibei listened, suddenly turned his head, his eyes flashed seriously: "do you want to let the only one enjoy this kind of happiness?"

Chu Jin ran looks at his serious eyes, suddenly don't know how to answer, his sudden words let her be stunned, for a long time to recover.

She turned her head awkwardly and immediately changed the subject: "that There's an ice cream man over there. Would you like some? "

She remembered the moment when Yu Beibei's eyes looked lost.

She understood Yu Beibei's feelings for her, and she always understood, and she was very grateful for his help and care for their mother and son all the time, but she was really confused about the feelings.

She really gave up on Lu chennian. Since she left China and Lu chennian, she has no expectation of her former relationship.

She knew that she and Lu chennian could never be together again. Their relationship had come to an end. There was no need to force them to be together again.His heart is no longer in her body, he fell in love with another woman.

When she fell in love with each other, sometimes she just wanted to love each other so deeply.

But in the end, they broke up. They were so miserable that they didn't communicate with each other.

Two people who once loved each other always hurt each other. Why is love always so fragile?

At the thought of this, Chu Jinran's heart was in severe pain.

The sun is about to set, Chu Jinran finishing a day, backache, only just fell asleep in the cradle, don't know when also wake up, is open a pair of big eyes, dribble around, see Chu Jinran looking at him, he is happy to smile.

The only squint eyes, see his smile happy, Chu Jinran's heart is soft.

The only one is a child who loves to smile. It seems that everything can make him happy. He always smiles with his eyes narrowed. Every time he sees the only smile, Chu Jinran's world warms up.

He will be a happy man when he grows up.

In fact, Chu Jinran doesn't have high expectations for the only one. She never expects how good the only one will grow, what kind of person he will become, what kind of school he will go to, what grades he will get, what work he will do, and whether he will make a lot of money

She didn't expect much of everything.

As a mother, her biggest expectation is to hope that the only one can be happy.

As long as he is in good health, grows up happily, and is a person of good conduct, it is OK.

It doesn't matter to her whether she is successful or rich.

Chu Jinran looks at the only one, and after a while, he turns to be busy with the things in hand.

It is clear that they have only moved to France for less than half a year. How can they have so many things?

Things piled up everywhere, making the room seem very crowded.

Chu Jinran is tidying up the huge suitcase she took when she first came to France, and suddenly turns to a wooden photo frame.

Her heart ached like a needle.

It's like a thorn in the heart, usually almost forget its existence, just don't know that day, it will move with the blood vessels, and then suddenly pick out the heart, stab out from the flesh, stab her chest, and then bloody exposed to the air, let her think of no way to escape.

Chu Jinran sighed deeply. This photo frame looks not new, but it's not old. It's made of wood and light color. It looks very fresh.

In the photo is her young innocent smiling face, making a face at the camera. How happy she was at that time. She can even see that her eyes are dotted with pure smiles, just like the bright stars flowing into happiness. There seem to be stars in her eyes.

She's not the only one in the picture. She's smiling and cuddling with a man.

That man is a familiar and strange face, tall and big, deep outline, heroic eyebrows, thin lips is a faint smile.

Chu Jinran looks at this familiar but painful face. I fell into deep memories.

She remembers that this is the first picture of her and Lu chennian. At that time, before they got married, they just spent a month together. They went to the amusement park once and asked passers-by to help take it.

Lu chennian usually does not like to laugh, even when taking photos, the corners of his mouth are just a shallow smile, unlike her heartless smile.

At that time, she seemed to have endless vitality, happy every day, and no worries in her life.

At that time, they were just a pair of ordinary lovers, just like the lovers who just started to fall in love all over the world. They were tired of being together every day.

Lu chennian would pick her up in advance when she was on a date, and would wait at her door early when she went out without eating breakfast and deliver the breakfast to her.

At that time, she even thought that she was the happiest woman in the world, and it was her happiest thing to be with Lu chennian all her life.

Her greatest wish at that time was to marry him and become his bride.

Later, Lu chennian really married her. In fact, they used to have a wonderful past, just like the lovers who finally broke up in the world.

At the best of times, their love was like being in a honeypot.

But no matter how beautiful it is when we are in love, we can't resist the heavy reality.

Later, they got married, and really became the person that each other could accompany for a lifetime. She became his wife and he became her husband.

She thought that she could be with him all her life. She thought that she could be happy at last. The life she had been looking forward to was about to start. However, later, the beauty of love was still not equal to the cruel reality.

After they got married, they often had many conflicts. Lu chennian didn't trust her and thought she was cheating. Also because suspect her and with Nian Shiya ambiguous.Maybe he really fell in love with Nian Shiya. Otherwise, how could he announce that he would marry Nian Shiya half a year after she left?